Kids, the Crab apologizes for the lateness of the recap, but like Mode employees, her work keeps her busy, just without all the drama. Most of the drama. Okay, we have drama, but our department prefers to gossip about it as opposed to being involved with it. Most of the time. Anyhoo, let's get ready to recap!
When we last left Ugly Betty, Willie had returned and became Creative Director of Mode, Hilda was hitting on Coach, skank Charlie broke water all over Casa Suarez, Gio kissed Betty and offered a swooning end to last week's episode (my knees get weak thinking about it), and Papi's hair proved to us that in the attic is a picture of him getting younger.
"Betty," we hear a voice say, and an 8th grade version of the Crab turns around to face the camera. No wait, it's Betty. I can tell because of the unibrow...even I knew back then to get things under control. Ha! Betty was a dork in high school. How well I know that skin. She's facing...a freshly-scrubbed, newly rehabbed (I'm guessing?) Lindsay Lohan. And we are back in 1999, when Lindsay was officially sober. Hope they know how to party like it is that year!
Clearly one has more square footage than the other!
Betty is second to last being picked for some horrible game - probably BOMBARDMENT! - the other girl being ginormo. Lindsay tells Betty they really need her for the team, and Betty smiles back - with straight teeth! Okay, they are Kennedy-sized, but they are straight. Did she start sucking her thumb late and that's why she needs braces now? Otherwise she could have just gotten a horse hoof file and fixed them.
Betty joins their team, obviously thrilled, and when the ball is about to be thrown, Lindsay's character yells "Get behind the human shield!" Seems like if they wanted a shield, they should have picked ginormo girl, she offered more square footage. Betty wonders who the human shield until she realizes everyone is crowded behind her. Sucks to be you, shield. Damn, how many balls are can those girls hold? Did Betty go to a Catholic school?
Catholic girls sure know how to handle balls
This traumatic story is why Betty will not be joining the Mode softball team, she tells Gio over coffee. Yeah, I can see why she's such a hot catch! She doesn't see why playing softball is so important until Gio mentions that Daniel was in the deli recruiting him because he really wants to win. Betty says, "The softball team is Daniel's baby," which is interesting considering his actual baby shows up this episode. This also shows why Wilhelmina Slater should be Editor-in-Chief, she thinks beyond the softball team.
Gio thinks playing softball would be a great thing for them to do "as a couple." Betty mentions that they aren't exactly a couple. The Crab would mention that team sports are the best way to "uncouple a couple" due to the massive fighting that always seems to ensue. If you don't believe me, involve a married couple in charades. "I told you, I want to take it slow." She's considering this their "exploratory phase," which immediately makes me call her Dora the Explorer...of Gio's topography!
Gio wants to take her out on an official first date, and I have to ask, WHAT IS BETTY'S APPEAL? I realize she's the ugly with a heart of gold, and I lover her moxie, but Gio could be banging one of the models and with less drama. It's written explicitly into the show, she is UGLY! Okay, she's not really - not like she was in season one, but she has two guys who want her. TWO! My only hope for a date is if newly single Clooney stops by my house during a 20/20 rerun on Friday night and invites me out for a Bitter Spinster, the newest drink sweeping my social life.
Gio tells her he needs to take her out soon because, "I'm going to Italy for a month." Good thinking, what with his deli just getting off the ground and no employees to run it while he's gone. Luckily, storefront rent in Manhattan is cheap. "It's what Mario Batali did when he needed to discover himself," Gio says. Was he running a deli with a pickle mascot?
Hot Flash or Hot Guy? Yeah, he's probably gay
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Comments (2)
I agree...I think she went somewhere, maybe Rome, by herself to think. Remember 90210 when Dylan wanted to take Kelly on a trip around the world and Brandon proposed and she chose herself? I think it's exactly like that... And I agree also that there will probably be some type of new magazine for Daniel where Betty will work...not sure how it will all tie together, but that's what I think!
1 of 2 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on June 2, 2008 9:51 AM
Nice recap. I think most non-entitled people are going to have sympathy for Willie (who deserves/earned the job) over Daniel (who inherited and feels entitled to it). His sibling is a creep.
Betty's obviously going somewhere - but probably not with Gio or Henry. (The show couldn't stand her moving to Arizona, or leaving Meade publications, for that matter.)
Daniel could be the poster child for why many "regular" people resent spoiled, entitled children of the rich. Sort of a male version of Paris Hilton.
2 of 2 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 2, 2008 9:56 AM