Justin is bemoaning his denial to Marc and Marc tells him to chill. Basically, he and Justin have this nice moment where they are talking about "fitting in" at high school, and Marc tells him if he can't find his niche, he should make it. "I am a product of the public high school system, and I think I'm pretty great," Marc says. Yes, you are.
So Matt spills to his dad like they are old girlfriends getting a mani-pedi, and Cal tells him about the first motorcycle he ever got. Oh, dad wisdom. Here we go. He said he loved the motorcycle and no matter what he got after that, his first motorcycle with his favorite; the one he compared the rest of his motorcycles to. See, what is happening here is that Henry is the motorcycle, and Matt is the Vespa on which Betty spills her latte. It all comes back to being a coaster, right? Wow, that is just a lot of metaphor in one paragraph, almost like too much icing on a cake.
"I get it," Matt says. "I'm fancier but Henry runs like stink." Yes, that's it exactly. Also, Henry is better in bed, more clean-shaven, has better abs, and a great sense of humor. However, he's no Gio who makes Betty's toes curl. Actually, it's my toes he makes curl. "You'll always be competing with the first motorcycle," Cal warns, "especially when it's shoving it's tongue down your girlfriend's throat." So damn classy, that family.
Cal suggests getting good and mad, but channeling it into work. So you don't beat your girlfriend, is that what that is supposed to mean? This family is so effed up. And where is Matt going to channel that, working on becoming the male Paris Hilton? "I don't have a job anymore," Matt says (didn't he kind of love the sports job?). "You could," Cal says. That's how Daniel got his start! Nepotism...keep it in the family.
Daniel bumps into Wilhelmina stealing swag bags and he says they have to make a decision as to who gets the features editor job. How about someone actually qualified for it like the ASSISTANT features editor? Dumbasses. To solidify their dumbass-ness, they actually, yes, FLIP A COIN. Way to take the reins and make a decision, Wussy McWussertons. Another good name for a cat.
They are making a decision about someone's life and
they know to treat it with all the respect it deserves.
Daniel walks in to the dining room and asks to see Betty. She got the job! She screams! She jumps! She hugs Daniel and sees Marc being told he didn't get the job. He is going to kill himself since he took a pass on the Vogue job. Moron!
She does look better blurry.
Then the nominations for whatever Mode is in the running for, and it's their wedding issue that is nominated. Because of it's 3 days on the newsstands. Time is such a flexible enigma in Ugly Betty land. And who wins? MODE! Score! Daniel and Willie go onstage to accept the award. Daniel goes to make his speech but Marc had stolen his note cards earlier. Daniel looks up and sees Molly behind Betty. She did make it!
Daniel gives a sappy speech about the wedding issue that is really aimed at Molly and how she made him a better person, blah, blah, blah. Then he says, "To my wife, Molly, I love you." She says she loves him too and everyone applauds. Then a waiter walks by and Molly is gone! Daniel runs over to where she was standing and Betty tells him his speech was beautiful.
She made it! Or not really!
"Where did Molly go?" he asks. Betty says she hasn't seen her. "She was right next to you," Daniel says. Betty is pretty sure she wasn't and Daniel gets a funny look on his face and says, "I'm going to go," and he tears out of there. This can't be good.
Over at the bar, Willie asks Claire when she is going to make her announcement. Yes, leave it to Mode to steal the limelight once again with a stupid upper management change. Claire says she's not making the announcement and Willie's all like, "I'm telling dad!" and says she's telling Cal about the baby. "I already know," Cal says, coming up behind Willie. "And it's none of your business."
"Cal and I have been talking and we need to re-evaluate your role in the company," Claire says. Maybe she could become her own assistant, since that job is open? Claire and Cal take off, probably to have sex in the bathroom.
Ah, shit.
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Comments (4)
I must have lapsed into a coma (or a comma) about half-way through, because I didn't remember anything after that. But, thanks to your thorough and excellent recap, I don't have to watch it online.
1 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on May 29, 2009 10:04 AM
THE RECAP CUTS OFF!!!! WHERE IS THE REST OF THIS BRILLIANT RECAP?!?!?!
This is how it ends: "Over in Willie's apartment, she is..."
I am reserving my unadulterated praise for this recap until the rest of it has been posted!
2 of 4 | Posted by slumrville | Posted on May 29, 2009 10:32 AM
Sorry guys - totally my fault, that's what happens when you try to get a finale done before leaving for a business trip - we'll get the rest up when I get back to my home computer - sorry - thanks for reading!
3 of 4 | Posted by dearcrabby | Posted on May 30, 2009 11:24 AM
Hey thanks for posting the rest of the recap crabby! damn this season finale was sad. Made me cry just like the first season 1 (don't judge) poor daniel. I already seen episodes of seaosn 4 and they look better than this season. By teh way i love the gio picture at the end..it did cheer me up :)
4 of 4 | Posted by maria7992 | Posted on November 9, 2009 5:06 PM