As we open this episode of Ugly Betty, Matt is walking Betty home from the subway, which HELLO Richie Rich, don't you have a town car that could drive you two to Queens? Matt tells Betty he has something pretty serious to say to her and he's not sure how to put it. Is he going to use the L-word! Say it ain't so. Betty tells him to just take a deep breath and say it.
Oh no! Look what happened to our Flonase bee!
"Rimaldi's pizza is just slightly superior to Lombardi's, you win," he says. Geeks! "Never challenge me when it comes to pizza," Betty says and given her girth, I would say that is sage advice. She demands a dollar, I hope for the bet. But instead he puts a box in her hands. It's a bumble bee hair clip - get it? A bee? B? For Betty. So thoughtful, although it does freak me out that the wings are moving.
"I wanted to give you something for our monthaversary," he says. Oh, ick. She tells him he doesn't always have to bring her back to Queens and he says, "Well, that's where my queen lives." Dear God, these two are so nerdy they are perfect together. Add in a Star Wars convention and boom! Magic.
Papi can you hear me?
Suddenly Papi comes bursting through the front door, smashing into Betty and Matt because apparently Papi has gone Tommy on us and is deaf, dumb, and blind. He apologizes and says he was on the way to the neighbors' house to see if he could borrow their cooler for his camping trip. He's taking Justin camping with Elena and her nephews who I have no doubt will be kicking Justin's ass by the end of the trip.
Coming in the back door is Hilda with Councilman. "You don't have to walk me all the way in," she says, and he says he doesn't mind. What I think he's missing is that SHE minds. He tells her he had fun, then goes in for a kiss and misses, then Papi comes crashing in and hits the two of them with the back door. It just ain't Papi's night. Councilman leaves and you can tell Hilda is bored out of her gourd.
So boring my face got stuck like this!
Betty walks in and asks how her date was and Hilda rolls her eyes. Tsk, tsk. Justin comes in and is pissed that he has to go camping, and it turns out Elena's nephews planned this with Justin in mind. He says, "Only if it involves mud-baths and ginger facials." Enjoy your ass-kicking.
We cut over to Wilhelmina in bed watching TV. She hears someone singing You Are My Sunshine and she thinks it's Connor. She walks into the living room and he's there holding baby William. Suddenly she wakes up and is in her room alone with the baby cooing in his bed. Has she even held that kid since he came home?
Back at Mode, Willie can barely keep her head up in a meeting but damn, she looks good in the fuscia off-the shoulder dress and large earrings. Daniel is telling everyone that to make sure their first-ever "sex issue" of Mode is the best ever and that they need to keep their advertisers and get new ones. He needs them to make sure their numbers on this issue rock his world! Willie's head drops from drowsiness. Must be one hot sex issue!
Even I can't stay awake to hear about Betty's sex life!
Betty suggests tying in the issue with articles on ModeNY.com. Daniel loves it! Amanda smacks Betty on the ass like a burro. Wilhelmina yawns loudly, saying she had a late night. The troops head out to make it happen, as if.
This is how I look in most of my meetings...is that wrong?
Marc enters Willie's office talking some nonsense about the Olsen twins and Willie just stares out the window, motionless. Marc waves his hand in front of her and in wonderful Marc fashion goes screaming through her office, "Oh my God, she's DEAD! SHE'S DEAD!" The funny thing is he sounds both horrified and relieved.
She's melting! MELTING!
Who will command the flying monkeys now?
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Comments (6)
Dear Crabby -
Excellent recap (of a show that is getting sillier by the week!)
No seriously, the first season of this show, I was in love! And look, I completely understand that this is based on Spanish soap operas, and therefore reality must be suspended during viewing, but come the FUCK on!
So, Matt is super rich and hides that by "forgetting" his wallet a bunch of times therefore making the financially unstable girl pay for their dinners/coffees/whatever. Not very creative writers, I think they should've had him "forget" his wallet because he doesn't actually have one - he's homeless and living on a bench at Penn Station! I don't know - something a little more gripping like that.
And, now he's had a lot of sex with a lot of different women? Um, WHAT? I hate that story line, while they were sitting in the therapist's office I thought he was going to be like, I have an STD or something a little more realistic - not, I'm a man-whore. I love how he's being treated like a "nice guy in recovery from a difficult life of random sex" whereas if this were a woman character, she'd be written off as a nasty slut. Ugh - seriously, Gio left and brought all the creativity of this show with him!
Sorry for the rant, but GRRRRRRRrrrrr!
(I do kind of love the councilman though, something about Karate Kid at age 45 is still pretty adorable!)
1 of 6 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on March 24, 2009 9:57 AM
Good recap once again, too bad it's for a show that appears to be in steep decline.
I was disgusted by this episode (Betty prances into bed with a sex addict?!). Seriously creepy content. I don't plan to watch anymore, but I may drop by and read your recaps anyway. Yes, they are that good.
I am a Gio fan and like seeing your mentions of him. You seem to have a fond memory for the character (thank you!) unlike the show. Why? Why God? Why was he dumped from the show?
Curious, did pickle = Gio?
2 of 6 | Posted by bgroman | Posted on March 24, 2009 5:56 PM
Great recap. I'm not ready to abandon ship, but it does seem to have lost something. I'm hoping Rebecca R will return soon. I also miss Gio (please sign the online petition - haha).
Amanda and Mark are still great together (or separately).
One thing this show has in common with a lot of others - they incorporate the real life economic crisis into the storylines. I watch TV to ESCAPE (okay, ignore) my own problems; not to be reminded of them.
The promiscuity aspect - not to mention the STD possibilities - of Matt's past is a real turn-off.
(I'm a man who never understood how anyone could go to a prostitude - even before the onslaught of AIDS - you just don't know WHERE that thang has been!)
When it comes to sex partners, less is usually more. Some things don't change.
3 of 6 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 25, 2009 7:55 AM
Okay, call me naive, but what's a "carwash", metaphorically speaking?
BTW, who wants to know about anyone's pubic hair removal? When did it become pubic knowledge?
Also, I did not recognize Ralph Macchio until I saw his name in the credits and figured it out!
4 of 6 | Posted by scottywrangler | Posted on March 27, 2009 8:44 AM
Great recap as always! I can't even stand to watch the lame ass show anymore so I just come here to find out what happened.
5 of 6 | Posted by E-fo | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:16 AM
Before, I couldn't get past the fact that, while Matt is reasonably cute, he and Betty have no real sexual or romantic chemistry. They were okay though only so-so as friends (do these actors even bother to run lines together to give them some semblance of making a connection?). As a couple they're just bleh. Now I can't get past the fact that they have no chemistry plus he has a serious, not easily treated mental illness and maybe a long history of spreading STD around. And she hearts him? This girl who decided she "just didn't have those feelings" for a sane guy who unabashedly adored her and was so hot his kiss made her moan with desire and dancing with him got her all squirmy. Damn, you're right she should run call Gio!
6 of 6 | Posted by Livia | Posted on April 10, 2009 10:30 PM