"This is so embarrassing," he says. He's a hermaphrodite? No worries, I think Betty is too! Likes to wear women's underwear? Betty would loan them out! He really hates sports? Join the club! "Why?" Betty asks. "Are you a virgin? It's okay, I don't really have the much experience either."
"Oh, no, I've been with women," Matt says, sort of creepily. "Kind of...a lot...of women," he says. Like Don Juan DeMarco a lot? "I mean, really a lot." Betty says, "Wow," and looks over at Helen who nods and smiles...because why now? Matt tells her he's been kind of lonely his whole life which is surprising given how warm and cozy his mother and her house are. Ahem.
See, Matt takes "Little Matt" like this and connects him to women.
Would you like me to draw it using Visio?
Helen rudely interrupts and tells Betty that Matt has used sex as a way to connect with people. Oh, Helen, come on, who hasn't? Especially on quarter beer night! Matt says he made a contract with Helen that he wouldn't be with someone unless he really connected with them first. Okay, the lie you should have told Betty when this all began is that you wanted to build your relationship with her first, then have sex because you wanted to have a more solid, mature, and enduring relationship with Betty than you had with other women previously. See? Any chick would totally buy that!
He tells her he has all these feelings for her and when the sex thing came up, he panicked. You never want to hear that from a heterosexual man. And? He and Daniel lead very different lives. Helen asks him how he feels now that he told Betty. "I feel calm," he says. "I'm so glad it's out in the open," much like a cold sore. Helen asks Betty how she feels. "Great. I feel..."
"...strange," Betty finishes her sentence on the elevator with Daniel. Daniel's all like high-five, what a dog! "Not really helping, am I?" Daniel asks. No, dumbass, you're not. Betty tells him the car is coming to take him to the poetry slam and she's excited to hear her poem. Daniel tells Betty he asked her to change her poem because he doesn't want his sex life on display for everyone to see. "Your sex life has been on display for years," she reminds him. Point: Betty. She calls him an ass. Double point: Betty.
Back at Casa Eat Crow, Hilda's telling Betty that she and Councilman worked it all out. Betty can't believe Hilda apologized to the Councilman. I can't believe Hilda is trying to fix Betty's hair. Betty asks if they can skip the sex talk tonight. Betty says after what happened, she feels like, "One of hundreds. I don't feel very special." You know, I'd probably have to bow out too, this is just a lot of baggage and not just the "I hate my parents" kind.
The doorbell rings and it's Felissa. She came to tell Hilda to back off of Councilman because she wants him back. Hilda all like yah-huh, good one. Felissa says, "I'm sorry but Archie loves him some vanilla ice cream," and she motions to herself. Not to be outdone, Hilda says, "I don't think he's going back to vanilla when he's tasted hot, melted caramel surprise." I could really go for some Baskin Robbins right about now.
No matter what happens, Betty will not look better or worse.
"What's the surprise?" Felissa asks. "Your fat ass?" That's no surprise, it's right out there. Hilda is ready to fight over one boring guy. Felissa pours something onto an afro wig (?) and Hilda grabs the clipper and goes after her. Betty tries to break them up when Councilman walks in and sees all sorts of women fighting over him. You know he thinks that's hot.
Back at Wilhelmina's house, it's night and she's trying to sex it up with the Manny. She asks if she can light the fire and suddenly Steely Dan is playing in the background. That's not Brown Cow, is it? Oy. She tells Manny he has baby spit up on his shirt, he should really take it off so she can wash it. Like she even knows where the washing machine is.
I gots to get me some Taye Diggs! Thank you, whitey!
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Comments (6)
Dear Crabby -
Excellent recap (of a show that is getting sillier by the week!)
No seriously, the first season of this show, I was in love! And look, I completely understand that this is based on Spanish soap operas, and therefore reality must be suspended during viewing, but come the FUCK on!
So, Matt is super rich and hides that by "forgetting" his wallet a bunch of times therefore making the financially unstable girl pay for their dinners/coffees/whatever. Not very creative writers, I think they should've had him "forget" his wallet because he doesn't actually have one - he's homeless and living on a bench at Penn Station! I don't know - something a little more gripping like that.
And, now he's had a lot of sex with a lot of different women? Um, WHAT? I hate that story line, while they were sitting in the therapist's office I thought he was going to be like, I have an STD or something a little more realistic - not, I'm a man-whore. I love how he's being treated like a "nice guy in recovery from a difficult life of random sex" whereas if this were a woman character, she'd be written off as a nasty slut. Ugh - seriously, Gio left and brought all the creativity of this show with him!
Sorry for the rant, but GRRRRRRRrrrrr!
(I do kind of love the councilman though, something about Karate Kid at age 45 is still pretty adorable!)
1 of 6 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on March 24, 2009 9:57 AM
Good recap once again, too bad it's for a show that appears to be in steep decline.
I was disgusted by this episode (Betty prances into bed with a sex addict?!). Seriously creepy content. I don't plan to watch anymore, but I may drop by and read your recaps anyway. Yes, they are that good.
I am a Gio fan and like seeing your mentions of him. You seem to have a fond memory for the character (thank you!) unlike the show. Why? Why God? Why was he dumped from the show?
Curious, did pickle = Gio?
2 of 6 | Posted by bgroman | Posted on March 24, 2009 5:56 PM
Great recap. I'm not ready to abandon ship, but it does seem to have lost something. I'm hoping Rebecca R will return soon. I also miss Gio (please sign the online petition - haha).
Amanda and Mark are still great together (or separately).
One thing this show has in common with a lot of others - they incorporate the real life economic crisis into the storylines. I watch TV to ESCAPE (okay, ignore) my own problems; not to be reminded of them.
The promiscuity aspect - not to mention the STD possibilities - of Matt's past is a real turn-off.
(I'm a man who never understood how anyone could go to a prostitude - even before the onslaught of AIDS - you just don't know WHERE that thang has been!)
When it comes to sex partners, less is usually more. Some things don't change.
3 of 6 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 25, 2009 7:55 AM
Okay, call me naive, but what's a "carwash", metaphorically speaking?
BTW, who wants to know about anyone's pubic hair removal? When did it become pubic knowledge?
Also, I did not recognize Ralph Macchio until I saw his name in the credits and figured it out!
4 of 6 | Posted by scottywrangler | Posted on March 27, 2009 8:44 AM
Great recap as always! I can't even stand to watch the lame ass show anymore so I just come here to find out what happened.
5 of 6 | Posted by E-fo | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:16 AM
Before, I couldn't get past the fact that, while Matt is reasonably cute, he and Betty have no real sexual or romantic chemistry. They were okay though only so-so as friends (do these actors even bother to run lines together to give them some semblance of making a connection?). As a couple they're just bleh. Now I can't get past the fact that they have no chemistry plus he has a serious, not easily treated mental illness and maybe a long history of spreading STD around. And she hearts him? This girl who decided she "just didn't have those feelings" for a sane guy who unabashedly adored her and was so hot his kiss made her moan with desire and dancing with him got her all squirmy. Damn, you're right she should run call Gio!
6 of 6 | Posted by Livia | Posted on April 10, 2009 10:30 PM