When we left Ugly Betty mid-episode, Daniel had just come to her rescue by giving her back the insect story and making everyone else feel like shit! Yay Betty! Daniel smiles and pats Betty on the shoulders before leaving. She turns to her now vicious co-workers and says, "Guys," and they all turn and stare at her. "I swear," she says, "I did not ask for special treatment," which is technically true.
Pretty much the average workday for most of us.
"So you didn't mention anything to Daniel?" Matt asks. That's not what she said and by the way, Poindexter ears, she's allowed to converse about how work sucks with her friends. Just ask mine. She says that she gave him and update but she didn't ask for the article. Matt's face scrunches up as he screams, "LIAR!" and Meegan screams, "Get the liar who spreads the lies!" Ah, I forgot how much I like the campiness of this show.
Everyone ducks down and grabs a crossbow, bow and arrow, basically pointy-things to shoot at Betty as evil Damien music plays. They begin shooting at her as she runs away and it's very Raiders of the Lost Ark. Geez, people, how can you miss a target that colorful? Or large? She bumps into Marc and Amanda who have blow darts - I hope Harrison Ford shows up soon, but 1980s Harrison Ford, not Calista Flockhart semi-douchey Harrison Ford - as Marc exclaims, "Go for her fleshy middle." He's got a point there, but Amanda says she'll just aim for Betty's cankle (kankle?).
Betty continues to run as Matt intercepts her and says, "I'll just aim for the heart." Well, according to you she really doesn't have one, so WTF? Betty leans backwards Matrix-style and the arrow misses her. She takes off AGAIN and starts doing cartwheels and backflips down the hallway, ending with a handstand on the reception desk. She flips down into the reception desk and sneaks a peak up. I particularly love the people carrying pitchforks. She stands up and surrenders, but too late! She's standing on a big net that is pulled up and has captured Piggy - I mean, Betty.
Lord of the Lies. Plus, she should be captured
for that awful shoe/sock combo.
The group parts down the middle and here comes Wilhelmina carrying a big knife. Oh, Willie, I hope that is sharp enough to cut through Betty's gristle! Did you borrow it from Not-Nico? She steps on Betty's glasses and crushes them, and I must know where she got those shoes, they are FAAAAB-ulous! Is that chrome around the edges?
Oh my God those shoes are so Vulcan!
"Well, boys and girls, looks like we caught ourselves a meaty one," Willie says. No, I'm pretty sure she's well-marbled. "Who's in the mood for some carnitas?" Suddenly Hilda steps into the picture and says, "Betty, it did not happen like that at all." Were you there, Hilda? It might have.
We're transported to the living room of Casa de Hyperbole and Betty admits she may have been exaggerating a little bit. Sort of like I do when I say, "I wasn't driving that fast," although I applaud the fact Betty is standing on the dining room table holding a sharp knife. Now we see where Justin gets his dramatics. "But my glasses did break, look," she says. How? From the power of the evil stares? Well, her co-workers probably were sending her some pretty nasty vibes.
Hilda suggests she take this opportunity to get some new glasses but Betty likes them since she's been wearing them since high school. Case closed! She says she just feels like she's under attack at work and things have gotten worse since Daniel came back. He does have that habit of botching everything he touches up. He's like the Midas of bad karma.
The next day Amanda is telling Marc about her night out and said that the dad from Jon & Kate Plus 8, "I think his name is Ben," and he was totally hitting on her. "And P.S., 'plus 8,' more like 'plus 4,'" she says, making the size example with her fingers. Haha! Jon's got a small dick! As if we didn't know.
Marc looks past Amanda and sees some tall girl waving at him...Oh, it's what's her name from Third Rock. No, not 30 Rock, the one about the aliens. Kristen Johnson. "Uh, Blondre the Giant is over there, I think she wants to talk to you," Marc says. Amanda says she chooses to ignore the elderly. Me too, but they are ALL OVER the roads nowadays.
Smell the fart acting in action.
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