Dear Crabby: When are we going to see a smack-down catfight between Betty and Hilda over Papi?
-Couch Ass Groove
Dear Couch: When Player magazine can sponsor it!
Casa Suarez is eerily empty as we begin this edition of Ugly Betty, although it does look like someone cleaned up the chips that were all over the floor from the party. Phew. Justin, Hilda, and Betty are at the hospital with Papi who is costing them I'm guessing about $5000 a day with this nonsense. The all put their hands on his, probably to see if they can steal and pawn his watch.
Let's see if he has any toe rings we can take, too.
But wait...their hands switch over to another set of hands being held in a Corona commercial, excellent! No, wait - it's Daniel and Molly holding hands, smooching, and clinking glasses of what looks like delicious Mojitos. Wow, looks like they got over their guilt fast. And thanks for rubbing the beach in while yours truly keeps wondering at what point in the late afternoon will my street be snow-plowed so I can go out and buy Mojito mix?
Hey, we're in a stylized Chanel commercial!
And speaking of no guilt because of no conscience, Wilhelmina is clinking champagne glasses with Connor while they both soak in a tub in Switzerland (I figured Aspen - isn't that the cheating side of town for rich people? For the rest of us, it's Queens and I don't even live in New York). Connor and Willie kiss, and I doubt he could remember his own name let alone Molly's, what with all the blood in his head currently residing elsewhere. But I rooted for this, so YAY Willie!
Montage of sad music continues as we see Papi has come home, day turns into night and back again. Thank Copernicus, to you and heliocentrism! Sorry about your persecution. Suddenly, Papi coughs like he's a 3-pack a day smoker, everyone craps their pants and comes running into the living room to ask him what's wrong. "Tickle in my throat," he says. Oh, we thought it was another massive coronary, our bad.
Betty says that recovering from a quadruple by-pass could make little things seem big. WTF? Did I say $5000/day? I meant $10,000, not to mention the daily medication. They should have sold Papi for parts!. I bet Pam Anderson would have paid $50K for his liver alone. Hilda hits Betty and tells Papi it could be nothing and not to worry or get stressed. Papi asked for a chili dog with fries. Again, they should have sold him for parts.
Betty notices the pile of medical bills in front of them. My dentist won't even do a routine checkup without my paying anything first, but Papi gets a quad bypass just because he shows up without insurance. Whatever! By the way, Papi looks damn good for just having had heart surgery. My understanding is that you feel like a Mack truck hit you after a bypass. I know I go white just thinking about making a gyno appointment.
Anal much, Howard Hughes?
Hilda and Betty fake hearing a bluebird in the back yard so they can go argue in the kitchen, which they do over all the post-its Betty has left all over the kitchen and the list of to-do items she's made for Hilda. Betty, do not make me side with Hilda this episode!
Betty heads back to the city and her apartment which looks like, well, like Amanda has been living there. It's a mess, there are a ton of bills, and even more cockroaches. Ain't it grand to be home?
Daniel and Molly are looking through their vacation photos which seem to have been taken in front of a Coney Island backdrop. I guess we've all been hit by the recession. Daniel says he will miss running into Heidi and Spencer the whole time. Molly admits she doesn't know who they are, and I just don't because I'm too old. Oops - one of the pictures is of Daniel and Connor shaking hands, which, really? Is that his screen saver? Ick.
Back at work, Betty has like a kajillion messages, and I'm thinking next time, someone ought to step in to check those, Amanda. She has a ton of stuff all over her desk but no, stop everything so you can take Daniel's photos down to get printed. What a tool, he probably passed like 50 Duane Reade's where he could have dropped that damn disk off.
A sure sign your epidermis is dying.
The upside? At least you got some!
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Comments (2)
DearCrabby, I've actually missed your recaps for this show, and it sucks that they're going to apparently make it even longer to get new ones... so I have to tell you how much I enjoyed THIS one (plus, damn, you give GREAT caption... "Wow, looks like his shoe size was right on." totally had me giggling up a storm). We'll pray for them to get their shit together for this show.
love to you!
J-Mo :)
1 of 2 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on January 30, 2009 9:02 AM
J-Mo, thanks for the note. I know, I am so ticked about the Ugly Betty threatened hiatus. Why, God, WHY?
However, I am also recapping Toddlers & Tiaras and it's full of crazies (as real life often is) - what could be better than tarted up kids? Here's hoping ABC Execs think twice...
2 of 2 | Posted by dearcrabby | Posted on February 2, 2009 10:16 AM