J'adorable Suzuki St. Pierre kicks off this episode of Ugly Betty with an update of the Meade Publications saga, calling Cal Hartley an "eccentric billionaire and my future sugar daddy." He continues saying, "Yes, the seemingly preposterous rumors are true...people are eating at Mode!" and we see Betty walk by the camera chowing on a huge chocolate doughnut. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I see nothing wrong with this
except that she's not sharing with me.
We pull back to see Justin watching this on his TV, and he says, "Yikes!" Well, okay, it is a little tacky of Betty, but it's a chocolate doughnut! What else can you do with it besides gorge yourself? "What?" she asks. "I like doughnuts." 'Nuff said.
Matt's there for breakfast and so is Elena...Casa Suarez is turning into the House of the Rising Sun, isn't it? Betty tells everyone that it's performance appraisal day and she's going to ask for a promotion. How about asking them to just make good on the last 3 paychecks? She's going to ask for a promotion to editor. OF WHAT? Who goes from assisting the editor (not assistant editor) to Editor of a magazine? Do you know how many skinny bitches have to die for Betty to become Editor?
Matt says that with the YETI project, she'll get some interviews with that as well. Oh, YETI, where have you and Bernadette been? Justin gets his undies in a bunch because he's worried Betty's leaving Mode. Matt says it's just good for her to have options. "Like Manny Ramirez," he says. Everyone looks at him blankly, including your recapper, and he explains, "Free agent?" He tries to explain then sighs and says, "I should really know my audience." Yes, you should.
Everyone leaves the kitchen - Betty with a plate full of doughnuts that look like they are on steroids, and Hilda knocks over Elena's bag. Out pops a letter from Chula Vista School of Nursing and Hilda stares at it like it is any of her business, which it is not. Draaaama!
The doughnut's "AFTER" picture. Yeesh!
Betty walks into Daniel's office telling him she's ready for her performance review all chipper-like the way NO ONE walks into a review. He begins to give her a good review on her attitude and promptness as we swing over to Willie's review of Marc. "It kills me to say this, but across the board you...are adequate," Willie says. Marc jumps for joy and I guess that is high praise coming from Wilhelmina Slater. He asks to hug her and she says, "Dial it back down, sister, or I'll drop you right back to sub-par."
It's Hammer time! Now hit yourself in the head with it!
Betty and Marc's happy-go-lucky and excellent reviews are stifled with the news that there is a hiring freeze. "What does that mean?" Betty says. That means there is a freeze on hiring. Which word didn't you understand? Turns out that part of the condition of being able to hire everyone back is that no one gets promoted and no one new gets hired until someone dies. Given the fact that right now people all over are losing jobs and people are taking pay cuts and benefits cuts, I would probably sit down and enjoy a hot cup of shut the hell up with my doughnut.
Daniel tells Betty he knows she has higher aspirations that booking his tanning salon visits and if she finds something through YETI, he will sing her praises. Betty's totally bummed out, goes to her desk, and she and Marc look at each other completely dejected. Maybe Marc's problem stems from his MC Hammer pants in day-go orange and black. There's your sub-par, Marc. Buck up, little soldiers, you do still have health insurance.
Not only will I cut you, but I'll report you
to the Postmaster General, Snoop-Dawg!
Back at Hilda's Salon of Emptiness, Elena sits down in a chair to get her hair done and Hilda confronts her about the letter she snooped through. I mean the envelope she found and the letter she found inside when she opened the envelope. Elena is pissed and ready to cut Hilda for opening her mail (it is Queens, people). Hilda wants to know what Elena is doing looking for a nursing position in Chula Vista, "A country I never even heard of." Oh, Hilda, thank God your boobs are huge.
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Comments (1)
Yes, I agree. Where is Gio? Betty has poor, poor taste in men, although after what Matt has turned into, even Henry is starting to look better. Ah, telenovellas! Or telenovas. Whatever.
1 of 1 | Posted by Allison | Posted on May 22, 2009 5:36 PM