Last week we ended with Fainter Phillipe pretty much destroying leprechaun Dave in their lightweight fight. This complete destruction was, at least in part, due to Dave's conviction that he could take any punch that Philippe could dish out and still keep fighting to win.

Didn't work out too well

For an insightful analysis of the fight the editors take us to their favorite deluded commentator, Marilyn. Sparing no mercy for Leprechaun Dave, Marilyn delights in explaining that a game plan based on taking punches to face works out pretty good, if your good at taking punches to the face, and Dave Kaplan, *smirk* *smirk*, not so much. Oh, Marilyn, how quickly you forget your own trials and tribulations with a similar game plan. Or, maybe, in your confused little peacock brain you've rewritten your fight with Roli to be a brilliant example of technique and strategy. I have to say that it gets confusing when so many of the fighters, and one "coach" are so busy manufacturing their own realities.

I can't wait for Phillipe to hit me in the face.

Fainter Phillipe, RN, enjoying a testosterone spike from his victory, shares that he's called the Fillipino assassin, and he's just going to go out and do his thing. So, now, I'm wondering just what he means by 'his thing?' Is he talking about fighting, or nursing?

Assassinations or enemas?

Moving on from last week's fight to the present incipient light heavyweight showdown, we visit the blue camp. Shrek, Jr is up to fight this week and his paw is still busted up. "Coach" Frankie is all over this problem, because how much would it suck if the blue team loses again. To give Shrek, Jr the best possible care he calls in a "hand" expert. Silly me, I'm expecting an orthopedic surgeon, and maybe even x-rays. But, no. The hand expert is a boxing trainer who tapes up Shrek's hand and shows him some striking techniques to help avoid stressing the bones. Personally, I think that if "coach" Frankie really wanted to help he would have brought in a real "hand expert" and arranged for Shrekky poo to have a really good manicure. Nothing like a good mani/pedi to perk you up.

Can I get a lap dance, too?

But, enough of the expert medical advice, when there's drunken debauchery occurring at the house. After being slaughtered on nationwide TV, Dave Kaplan, the resident leprechaun, is up for some good old vodka shots to take away the pain. Tom Lawlor, always happy to support his teammates, poses the crucial question as they head up the stairs. "Are we drinking up tonight, or are we going to wake up at 6 in the morning and start drinking?" Which to me is just bizarre. I mean who sets their alarm to six in the morning so that they can wake up to start drinking. It's like the overachievers approach to alcoholism. And, seriously, what's with the man loving art in this house?

Wouldn't a het male household go for at least an occasional pair of naked boobies?

After watching this show for the last nine weeks, I've come to the conclusion that, if you're actively delusional, you should really capitalize on it and audition for a reality show. Just stop taking your meds and go for the alcohol, it's ratings gold. Seriously, I'm guessing that Big Daddy is going to start holding auditions for the show in the waiting rooms of outpatient treatment facilities.

Leprechaun Dave's current delusion is that he is magically able to sustain any beatdown and cannot be knocked out. Maybe he read too many Superman comic books as a child? Of course, the best thing to do when your delusions are challenged is to down as many vodka shots as possible, because drunk crazy people are always rational and charming.

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Posted in Ultimate Fighter by YentaPatrol at 4:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: J-Mo on Nov 20, 2008 07:56 AM.