Dear Gasmii,
I am sorry to say that this week's episode chronicling the lives of our valiant, fighter, wannabes left me SHOCKED. Completely, SHOCKED by the boorish, violent, and crude behavior of some of the little guys. Who would have thunk that alcoholic punks would behave so badly when locked in a testosterone ridden house and supplied with a never ending stream of alcohol. Seriously, mix these guys with the Rock of Love girls and they could spawn an entire new tequila sucking, mud wrestling species.
Let me be clear, I am a little bitch, I always was a little bitch, and there's a good chance that I always will be a little bitch.
This week, the editors aren't bothering to share any more of their collection of phallically suggestive shots. Instead, they're getting right to the low down drama. We open with the boys sitting around the tv room with their eyes glued to the screen, apparently mesmorized by the action taking place.
Extreme porn or extreme violence?
And, lo and behold, Big Daddy's voice explains to us that the BJ Penn vs. Sean Shirk fight was on and "they" decided to let the boys watch it. Would somebody care to list the people outside of Big Daddy that make up the collective "they"? Big Daddy goes on to explain that the fight represents a goal for the contestants; it lets them think, "that's where I want to be some day." I'm still having trouble with the idea of a life goal that would entail being locked in a cage to fight a large, determined, possible deranged, and extremely sweaty male. And, you know that there's going to be some pretty gritty, smelly, sweaty clutches going on. It's like aiming for a lifestyle that combines the highlights of prison and ancient Rome.
Possibly aiming for a more authentic Roman experience, Marilyn explains that, "Shane and I thought it was a good idea to have a few drinks. I think this place turns you into a alcoholic."
Before I came into this house, I was gonna be a priest.
No, dahling Marilyn, unlucky genes make you predisposed to alcoholism. But, actually pouring the alcohol into your body makes you drunk. The training house, haunted though it may be, is not responsible for either. Marilyn also shares with us the touching belief that if he can keep from making mistakes and keep his head on straight he could win this competition. Being a master of strategy, he decides that best course of action would, therefore, be to finish up with the wine and start in on the tequila, because tequila has mysterious properties that keep people from making mistakes in life.
Nothing can stop me now.
Krazy tells us that Marilyn and Shane N. hit the wine bottle. In fact, according to Krazy they hit the wine bottle "pretty actually hard" followed by the aforementioned tequila, which was when Marilyn and Shane N. became BFF. Young love is so sweet, especially when the newly infatuated share a propensity to be complete asshats.
He likes me! He really, really, likes me!
Together, Marilyn and Shane start getting up into the red team's face. Seriously, is Marilyn the best that Shane can do in the house? Because, frankly, that's pretty sad.
Now that Marilyn has a new BFF and a blood alcohol content of .15, he starts being a bitch to Kyle Kingsbury, who is objecting to Marilyn's less than debonair behavior. Marilyn's charming words are along the lines of, "If you didn't win your fight and you got voted back in the house, shut up." And, of course, to punctuate his remarks, Marilyn throws handfuls of nuts (the grocery store kind) at Kyle. Surprisingly, Kyle is the first light heavyweight to react and he throws a handful of nuts (still the grocery store kind) back in Marilyn's face. And, here is the first of many times during the night that Marilyn fails to ask the crucial question of himself, "What would Jesus do?" I may be Jewish, but even I damn well know that Jesus wouldn't have whipped his drink followed by his glass back at Kyle; that's more the old testament style. You know, an eye for an eye, or, in this case, a nut for a nut. Please God, don't let Marilyn be a Jew.
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Comments (8)
This has got to be the funniest recap ever!!
Marilyn is totally and completely disgusting. I don't understand how he can still be on the show. His poor parents must be so embarrassed.
The other fighters seem nice, so I hope they get rid of Marilyn just so we can see more of them.
Thanks for the laughs.
1 of 8 | Posted by rosesarered | Posted on October 11, 2008 4:33 PM
Great recap!
I will have to say that after seeing the show I as unsure how anything funny was going to come from that disaster.
Thanks-
2 of 8 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on October 11, 2008 5:35 PM
Great recap Yenta. Junie is really disappointing me. You're absolutely right, he is perpetuation the negative stereotype, but I can't see him staying past next week. And now his coach is really pissed at him, and Dana was easy on him once, that won't happen twice. Don't let this fool you, yents, Dana White has a history of kicking guys off this show. He kicked a guy out of the finals last season when he caused an uproar after the show ended. Junie can't last.
And for your other question about wrestlers, yes and no. Based on a lot of what I've seen, many of the best fighters have extensive backgrounds in Jujutsu because it incorporates most of the aspects of MMA, i.e. striking, grappling, and submission. Yenta, I encourage you to look at a lot of UFC events and become familiar with some of the techniques and fighters.
3 of 8 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on October 11, 2008 5:35 PM
Junie Browning is the best fighter on the show and is going to be one of the best in the UFC. Hes just acting like that cus hes bored and he wants camara time.
I heard he makes it to the finals and beats all the other LH asses.
4 of 8 | Posted by ufcfan | Posted on October 12, 2008 9:13 AM
Another outstanding recap.
I hope Dana puts a stop to this ugly Junie business. After this week, if he doesn't kick the guy out, he - and the UFC - will have very little credibility left with me.
And who is Dana kidding with his excuse for giving them all that alcohol?
Dana has built a wonderful brand with UFC - and did a lot to save a strugling MMA. It pains me to see him allow this much credibility loss over a few rating points.
5 of 8 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 12, 2008 8:58 PM
Hey! Thanks for the shout out - I'm pretty sure that's my first one ever. Is that sad?
In answering your question about wrestling - it is a very important part of MMA, and at one time, it was considered perhaps THE most important part, but times change. I'll spare you a long story, but suffice it to say that muay thai, boxing, wrestling and jiu jitsu - in some combination are some of essential martial arts to know.
It's not uncommon for "stand up" fighters to hate on others with great wrestling skills because most fights go to the ground. If the wrestler is able to control the fight on the ground, the stand up fighter is at a huge disadvantage.
Let's play a game. Pick a fighter and choose theme music for them. I'll start with an easy one. Junie Allen Browning - "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit.
Yenta, great recap. It is always embarrassing when the guys in the house act like jackasses. All the work that has been done by the likes of Anderson Silva, Noguiera, Randy Couture and Rich Franklin to prop up the image of MMA goes to waste when the Junies, Chris Lebens and Lee Murrays of the world act the way they do.
+1 to you Yenta if you can find out who and what Lee Murray is (in)famous for.
6 of 8 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on October 13, 2008 7:15 AM
Yenta, honey, that was bee-YOO-ti-fullll! You're making me see the human part of some of these guys, and that's a wonderful thing... although I still don't understand why none of them can seem to understand how COMPLETELY DISGUSTING it is to put their FEET up on all of their EATING surfaces (yick!).
Of course, then there's Marilyn, and in him I see every asshole bully who ever tried to kick my ass on the way home from school (they used to get SO mad when they couldn't even catch the school fag, much less beat the shit out of me). It wasn't even any good to try and verbally trounce guys like him, because any insult other than "fuck you, asshole" would go way over their heads. With any luck he will make somebody a wonderful organ donor (except for his liver)...
love to you, fantastic job!
love, J-Mo :)
7 of 8 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 13, 2008 8:30 AM
Hi Guys,
Love the comments, thanks so much for taking the time to post.
Rosesarered: As a mom, I look at Junie's behavior and give thanks every day. You're absolutely right, his poor family.
Bmcl: I'm hoping that next week is a little less violent and a little more slapstick : )
FreewayShark: Thanks so much for your input. Much to my hubby's amusement I am finding myself downloading MMA fights and cruising some of the boards. OMG, what if I'm an addict?
Fire@will: Somebody sent me a link to Dana ranting about how somebody recently did something that could lower the MMA reputation after all his years of trying to build it up. Sigh. I can't help wondering if he's actually seen his show? Heart as always...
HeyBuddy: Okay, I did the requisite googling and as far as I can tell there's actually 2 things that Lee Murray could be famous for. 1) beating up Tito Ortiz outside of a nightclub, and/or 2) possibly participating in a bank robbery. OMG, I couldn't stop giggling when I was reading about him. What a sociopathic nightmare.
My song title would be for Junie as well, Manic Depression from Jimi Hendrix.Thanks for your info on the wrestling versus Jujuitsu. I really appreciate it.
J-Mo: I wish I had been in high school with you. Seriously, I was one mean little bitch, I would have had those bastards crying in no time. And, I totally agree about the feet on the table thing. Why is it that when a group of gay men live together the place is inevitably to die for and when a group of straight men live together the place becomes a pigpen? Ick!!
Hugs,
Yenta
8 of 8 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 13, 2008 5:03 PM