Frankie and Mini have slightly different reactions to being hugged. Mini is adorable and I can't help falling a little in love with the big lug.
"John's a nice guy. He hugged me. I don't mind, I like hugs."
Frankie, on the other hand, is a little unsure of what just happened.
"I don't know you. We shouldn't just be embracing each other without a few drinks first, or something."
Okay, shouts out to J-mo and Flipit. Would you like to offer any thoughts on "heterosexual" men who can only embrace each other after a few drinks? But, before the heterosexual male demographic can get too uncomfortable we have the obligatory reassuring boob shot:
Okay, everybody feeling comfortable with their woodies now?
Fight 2
Shane Primm Versus Sean O'Connell
Shane Primm is working at the cocky bastard persona, but it doesn't feel like it comes completely naturally to him.
"I'm going to be around for a long, long time."
Sean O'Connell loves Forest Griffin and loves Forest Griffin's quote, "the juice is worth the squeeze", which I can only assume to be some sort of a masochistic, masturbatory maneuver. Any UFC aficionados want to take a crack at explaining that one to me?
Anyhoo, Sean saw some guys do it on TV (meaning fight MMA style) and thought he would try it. I just hope he never watches Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
"I have to use really small ping pong balls.
Okay, my money is on the cocky bastard wannabe. Hopefully, he has more training than just watching video games and Ultimate Fighter reruns. The fight starts out with Sean picking up the cocky bastard and dropping him on his head. Then, there are a few of those awkward moments of the questionable groping that were absent in Mini's title fight:
Sean saw a proctologist do this on ER and thought he'd try it.
Despite a promising beginning, TV boy is quickly overwhelmed:
The moment Sean realized the difference between reality and TV.
...And, the cocky bastard wannabe wins by a rear naked choke, cough, cough...Okay, I know it's just a name. Any homosexual connotations are strictly in the mind of the audience. But, still, I dare any UFC fighter to go down to the Castro district and threaten to submit the local gentlemen with rear naked chokes.
Fight 3
Ido Pariente versus Efrain Escudera
Ido is from Israel and has a lot of national pride. Please, God, let him represent well. After Zohan, the Israeli image really can't take much more bashing. Anyway, Ido seems kind of sweet and tells us that he's really nervous.
I tried out for Shear Genius, but they wouldn't take me.
On the other hand, Efrain is looking good to take on the role of house A-hole if he wins. And, in this crowd, that's quite a title to achieve. Efrain loves fighting, but he'd rather do it in a cage than on the streets. Because, Efrain knows that fighting on the streets might get him shot in an ally, or dumped in a canal, or something. He then goes on to describe how he's going to beat Ido.
If he comes within one inch of my penis, I'm going to choke him out.
The fight is short and Efrain wins pretty much the way the way he predicted, but not before they give us the penile proximity shot of the night.
In the closet case jungle, it's an unwritten law that if another man gets this close to your penis you must kick his ass.
Fight 4
Ryan Lopez versus Tom Lawler
Ryan Lopez is a real live, badass, bounty hunter by day and a fighter by night. He adds that he used to do some modeling for Men's Health but there was no money in it and it was pretty boring.
I like shooting people better.
On entering the cage, he points up to the sky and says a brief prayer before taking a few warm up jumps. Frankie is highly amused by the Bounty Hunter's antics and giggles, points, and shouts, "He just jumped four feet off the floor!!"
Where's that guy with the Ritalin?
Tom Lawler is a profound thinker who shows an impressive grasp of chain reaction causalities. He tells us that if he doesn't fight, he doesn't eat, and if he doesn't eat, he dies. After a significant pause, he explains that he doesn't think that's a good alternative. He also has the worst haircut ever.
I'm sorry, but it looks like a starfish is taking a crap on his head.
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Comments (11)
That is big nog not mini nog.
1 of 11 | Posted by koclem | Posted on September 26, 2008 3:45 PM
I'll do my best to explain the "juice is worth the squeeze" quote. What he meant was that the end result of the UFC contract (the juice) was worth the pain he'd have to go through (the squeeze). Hope that helps.
Great recap.
2 of 11 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on September 26, 2008 3:45 PM
I'm thinking that Jules gets sent home due to injury and Eric Magee gets pulled it.
Funny recap, you had me squirming, but funny recap.
3 of 11 | Posted by Bmcl | Posted on September 26, 2008 7:17 PM
I read what your recap said about utlimate fighting and just so you know, not everybody thinks like you do.
You should show some respect to Dana White and the fighters on this show. Theyve done more than youll ever do sitting at a computer typing these lame ass recaps. What are you some sort of fem-nazi trying to make real men look bad.
You should mind your own business and write about things you know about like cooking and cleaning.
4 of 11 | Posted by ufcfan | Posted on September 27, 2008 6:57 AM
*reads ufcfan's comment and laughs*
Yenta, darling, I was going to reply with something, but then I realized that sarcastic wit is wasted on those without a certain level of intellectual advancement.
*smooches!*
5 of 11 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on September 27, 2008 7:32 AM
Koclem: Thanks for taking the time to chime in. Minotauro does have a big big noggin : )
FreewayShark: Thanks so much for translating for me. I'm sure there going to be other instances of phrases that are completely unintelligable to me, so please stick around.
Bmcl: I was wondering if farmboy got injured, as well. It's just kind of weird that they didn't address it at the end of the episode.
UFCFan: XOXO
teri00: Heart and smooches right back at ya : )
Hugs,
Yenta
6 of 11 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on September 27, 2008 12:04 PM
Yenta, honey, I was giggling like mad reading through this. You are the perfect one to be recapping this show.
Really, though, you SHOULD show more respect to the good men of the UFC, because their beating each other's brains out apparently somehow solves the energy crisis, the budget deficit and cures cancer at the same time!
I myself would contend that the only thing more lame than sitting at a computer typing a lame-ass recap would be sitting at a computer reading said lame-ass recap and getting really mad about it.
much love & hugs to you,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
P.S. I left you a present at the end of my soon-to-be-published "Top Design" recap... I think you're gonna like it... :)
7 of 11 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 28, 2008 4:00 AM
Thanks for the kind mention. You described me exactly (now "Uuuuse the farts, Luke!")
LOL
I've been involved in martial arts and I think your comments about the homo-erotic aspects of it were pretty funny - but in the most manfully, manly kind of way, of course.
You are doing a FINE job of recappingness and (in my imagination only) I'll scratch the eyes out of anyone who says otherwise!
8 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 28, 2008 10:03 PM
Yenta,
What is this "Castro district" you speak of?
I didn't think there was anything fishy about Elliot Marshall getting in to the house due to Antwan Britt's injury. It is commonplace for the fighters to get injured and they need to have replacements available to fill in. Marshall had a great fight - and in my opinion as well, beat Karn Grigaryan anyway.
On, and koclem's post that "this is big nog not little nog is in reference to the fact that there is has a twin brother who fights at a lighter weight. Antonio Rodrigo is known as "Big Nog" and Antonio Rogerio is known as "Little Nog".
I am hardcore fan of MMA and don't think there's anything homoerotic about it, but I think your recaps are funny. I can see where others may find certain aspects of it homoerotic and can therefore see the humor in your comments. Sadly, not all fans of the sport will be able to do the same. Insecurities anyone?
9 of 11 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on September 29, 2008 9:17 AM
J-Mo Darling, you are the sweetest :) Someday we will sit down and have a junk food orgy complete with really bad movies...
Fire@will, I'm working toward both manful and manly homoerotic descriptions : )
Heart always...
HeyBuddy, you are so my tutor. I'll have to rename "Mini" as "Mini Big Nog" and THERE'S TWO OF THEM!!!! Holy crap, that's too good to be true. I'll have to read up on them.
The Castro is SanFrancisco's gay ghetto. Basically, its a stretch of Castro Street from Market to about 19th, I think...But, like many trendy areas it's boundaries kind of spread and the original spirit of it seems to have kind of diluted over the years. Of course, I'm middle-aged so I'm looking back over a fairly long span and, I've never lived there, just visited. I'm sure others can give a more precise description of the area. But, in it's heyday it wasn't uncommon to see guys walking around in leather fanny chaps, or, my personal fav, leather biker jackets, combat boots and tighty whiteys...
Anyway, I hope you stick around you definitely "represent" well for the MMA crowd and you know alot more than me.
Hugs,
Yenta
10 of 11 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on September 29, 2008 2:04 PM
I am a fan of this show and find the recaps very funny.
Yenta, the judges are selected by the Athletic Commission and not the UFC. The problem is that many of the jugdes have a boxing background and judge the fight like a boxing match, not a MMA fight.
11 of 11 | Posted by tsl1000 | Posted on October 2, 2008 7:37 AM