Dear Gasmii,
It's always heartbreaking to think what might have been. This week we focus on a young, talented, pretty boy fighter, who so easily might have become that icon that mma fans everywhere either wanted to be, or wanted to bump nasties with, or, for those narcissists out there, wanted some combination thereof. Sadly, an uncontrollable urge to spew self adulation from every orifice, combined with that pesky tendency to pee on his housemates pillows, will probably doom him to be little more than the latest Ultimate Asshole to grace our TV screens. No, I'm not talking about Marilyn. From what seems to be a never ending supply in Frank Mir's team, we get Vinny:
AKA Small Balls
This week I recommend that you dispense with your wine glasses, and, for that matter, your wine, and go straight for the hard stuff: Twinkies soaked in whiskey should suffice. Remember, what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. So, be brave and join me after the jump...
We start with the obligatory recap of last week's Marilyn/Roli slapfest. And, Eliot, Son of Shrek, Kyle, and Hugger John all tell the camera how much Roli impressed them and how much Marilyn failed to live up to his smack talk.
Yay, Cutie Pie Roli!!
Boo, Marilyn!!
The blue team gathers in their dressing to room to debrief after the fight and "coach" Frankie, never one to miss an opportunity to disrespect the opponent, bitches at Marilyn for being so out of shape that he almost lost a fight to Cutie Pie Roli of all people. And, by Roli, Frankie really means a six-grade girl, because it isn't just Roli's black belt that he's doubting.
Come on, he's got a McPenis for God's sake!!
Well, at least Frankie is trying to be a leader. He's just not displaying many traits that seem to be worth following. Suprisingly, the Son of Shrek steps into the breach and takes a more constructive note by leaving Roli's possible lack of a penis out of his remarks and stressing the positive that, if Marilyn were in shape, he's got all of the skills to be a good fighter.
Frankie's assistant coach, points out that Marilyn did in fact win his fight and now the blue team is tied with the red team, so a round of applause for Marilyn. But, Frankie isn't done asserting his new authority and he warns Marilyn not to drink because if Marilyn drinks the other fighters are going to call Frankie, and Frankie's wife is going to get really PO'd, and if Frankie's wife gets really PO'd Frankie's going to have to move into the training house, and everybody's life is going to be hell.
So, you're saying I shouldn't drink?
This week control of the matchup for the light heavyweight fight remains with Frankie and he can choose either Vinny or the Son of Shrek from his team to fight either Kyle or Farmboy Jules from the red team. The editors treat us to clips of both Vinny and the Son of Shrek fighting. Shrek, jr is rolling with Tom Lawlor when he lets out a yelp of pain, disengages from their clinch, and scurries across the cage. In a more stoic moment, Shrek, jr explains to the camera that his thumb is either broken or fractured, but he's icing it everyday. Then somewhat pathologically optimistic he adds, "if I can make a fist, and I can, then no problems here." Not to be a downer, but this seems a little like a dancer on SYTYCD insisting on continuing with a broken toe. And, if other fighters got sent home for fractured noses, how does he get to stay with a fractured thumb? Seriously, Big Daddy can only be keeping him for two possible reasons: his pretty face, or his awesome practical jokes.
Any guesses?
For the first time, the editors are taking precious time away from the usual boy on boy drama to show us some of the training the fighters are undergoing. Each team has it's own personality that their respective training methods seem to reflect. The red team is full of team spirit and joie de vivre. A family of wholesome frolicking youths.
Anybody else picturing this scene in a meadow, sans the uniforms?
The blue team is made up of hard, out-for-themselves, tortured, individuals.
As a new gym fashion this totally screams Silence of the Lambs
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Comments (13)
I've actually read that tickets aren't selling well for the Mir/Nog fight at UFC 92. It's on 12/27 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena. if you're interested.
1 of 13 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on November 1, 2008 4:05 PM
Good recap Yenta - Gotta love your take on all this.
So basically these guys don't know anything about training. Making people suffer, yes. Teaching people how to be a professional, it seems like one coach has an idea.
2 of 13 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on November 1, 2008 6:48 PM
Excellent recap, considering how lame this episode was. (Thanks for the ring girl shots, too!)
I think every child should participate in at least two sports. One team sport and one individual sport. They both have important things to learn. Most of the guys on the blue team clearly skipped team sports... so did their coach.
3 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 2, 2008 10:56 AM
Wow, Yenta, we should get a whole TVGgasm group to go support Nog in Vegas. It would be such fun.
Loved the recap, but this week was kind of lame. I saw commercial for next week though and it looks Junie is up to his normal craziness...
4 of 13 | Posted by rosesarered | Posted on November 3, 2008 6:40 AM
Hi Yenta! love the recaps! Just wanted to mention that the Fainter Phillipe works out at my gym in Brooklyn. If i have any interesting encounters with him, I'll be sure to post :)
5 of 13 | Posted by lovelyval | Posted on November 3, 2008 8:46 AM
Good recap of a pretty boring episode.
Just as a FYI, Nogueira is 31-4-1 in his professional MMA career. His four losses are all by decision. Twenty of his wins are by submission.
Mir has excellent submissions too, but he's never fought anyone as good as Nogueira. If anyone tries to tell me that Tim Sylvia is as good as Nog, they will only succeed in showing me how stupid they are.
I'd be surprised if the fight ends in a submission either way - unless Mir gasses early and gets tapped due to exhaustion later in the fight. I'd be surprised if Mir can fight any more than three rounds and I'd be surprised if Mir can hurt Nog standing. I think Nog will TKO Mir... but I'd not advise to bet on it.
6 of 13 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on November 3, 2008 9:14 AM
I'm getting sick of hearing how everybody on this sight is bashing Mir and his team all the time. There fighters there not supposed to be warm and cuddly.
Yeah your funny sometimes but you just prove that women cant understand this sport.
I say Mir submits Nog in the second round. Nogs an old man now.
7 of 13 | Posted by UFCfan | Posted on November 3, 2008 10:49 AM
Hi Folks,
Love love love reading your comments : )
FreewayShark: That is so sad that the tickets aren't selling well. I would so love to go, but I'm not sure my hubby is going to go for it.
Fire@will: It is weird that Frankie's team doesn't seem to really get the concept of team. It's just a weird dynamic, but, as a recapper, I'm definitely appreciating it.
Rosesarered: I totally agree; a TVGasm cheering section at the fight would be a total hoot, but like I wrote to FreewayShark, I'm just not seeing my hubby go for it. Sigh!
LovelyVal: That is so cool!!! If the rumors are true, he wins this thing and gets the lightweight contract. I think he's supposed to fight next week, so now I'm really excited. Feel free to pass my love on to him ; )
HeyBuddy: So, after reading your post, I really, really want to go see the fight. If Nog KO's Mir, it would be the best Channakuh present ever!! I'm going to be curious to get your opinion of fainter Phillipe's fighting. Supposedly, he's the one that Dana White has picked out to be the next Anderson Silva...
UFCFan: XOXO
Hugs,
Yenta
8 of 13 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on November 3, 2008 11:58 AM
FYI - on Shrek's broken thumb. I'm pretty sure that with a broken nose, if you hit it wrong, the bone can get pushed into your brain and kill you. Not that I think Big Daddy's too concerned about the fighters' well-being, but I would imagine he doesn't want to get sued if somebody dies. Borken thumb, no one gives a s@#&, I would imagine.
9 of 13 | Posted by hejohnsonvc | Posted on November 3, 2008 1:14 PM
That's unfortunate to hear Yenta. As for a broken nose vs broken thumb, if you have a broken nose, then it's a lot harder to breath and it forces you to breath only through your mouth.
10 of 13 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on November 3, 2008 3:51 PM
Yenta: Nog doesn't really possess much KO power - he's got 2 TKO victories, but no direct knockouts.
As far as Phillipe goes, I was really impressed with him in his first fight, but the level of opponent wasn't very high. It'll be interesting to see how he does Wed night. Also, I don't know what rumors you hear, but let's say Phillipe makes the finals. He still has to fight on a UFC Fight Night in December for the lightweight contract - nothing is decided on the show per se.
I could be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure the NSAC will not let anyone fight knowing that they have a broken anything. If Crazy's thumb is truly broken, I don't see him being able to fight. I guess we'll see how up to snuff I am on the rules regarding fighter injuries.
UFCFan: Mir couldn't submit Wes Sims and he had him in some terrible positions for a lengthy amount of time. You're trying to tell me that Mir is submit Nogueira. A man who's never been submitted in a MMA event. Not by Fedor in three fights, not by Nastula, Josh Barnett in two fights or Ricco Rodriguez. BTW - Nog is like 32, 3 yrs older than Mir. Hardly old.
11 of 13 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on November 4, 2008 8:00 AM
"we should get a whole TVGgasm group to go support Nog in Vegas."
Oh that would be awesome! My boyfriend and I would sooo be there if we didn't already have out of town plans for Christmas! We are really disappointed cuz Vegas is not-too-bad driving distance from here and this is one fight we would love to see.
12 of 13 | Posted by Wild Heart | Posted on November 5, 2008 10:28 AM
I. Cannot. Wait. For. The. Next. Recap.
13 of 13 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on November 5, 2008 8:46 PM