Frankie's guest coach is clearly a serious, but high functioning, sadist, who has managed to challenge his destructive impulses into the "constructive" path of torturing professional fighters. By obstructing their nasal passages and forcing them to breath out of a snorkel, he manages to restrict their oxygen intake, while they sprint full out on a treadmill for fifteen minutes. This is a guy who's left the simple S&M world of whips and chains far behind him and evolved into a whole new level of torture.
But it doesn't end here. Just as the mask is removed and the unsuspecting fighter is experiencing the light headed rush of survival and a full oxygen supply, they are forced to jump into giant trash cans filled with ice water up to their necks.
It's safe to say that his testicles have been sucked up to the back of him mouth and his penis has assumed the proportions of a garden slug.
Of course, Coach Frankie is a big fan of these training methods, explaining that if they can manage the fifteen minutes on the treadmill, then the fight's easy, because nobody's going to push them that hard in the octogan.
His penis used to be this big but now it's this small, so he doesn't even need to wear a cup!
After the workout, Coach Frankie is practically fauning over Vinny and his world class black belt like a groupie trying to get laid. In Frankie's mind, Vinny is like a secret weapon for Frankie to use in his upcoming fight against Mini Big Nog and he's all enthusiastic when he says, "if I keep rolling with you Nogueira is going to be nothing" and adding, hopefully, "as far as positions and submissions you're better, right?"
Vinny modestly says that he's got better Jiu-Jitsu skills than Mini Big Nog, which prompts Frankie to continue his hopeful questioning, suggesting that Mini Big Nog's Jiu-Jitsu is "very bread and butter, right?" Vinny agrees that he thinks Mini Big Nog's Jiu-Jitsu is "basic". Drooling with enthusiasm, Coach Frankie continues to plot out how Vinny can help him win against Mini Big Nog. Vinny laughs, telling Frankie that, "They're going to hate me in Brazil. They already hate me there."
Remember, Frank Mir loves you and that's all that matter.
Back at the training house our red team is enjoying a domestic, tranquil interlude as they bake birthday cakes to celebrate Mini Big Nog's birthday. Farmboy Jule's explains that it's his dream come true to bake a cake for Nogueira. Everybody seems to pitch in and when Mini Big Nog arrives at the house a birthday feast is ready for him.
I have to say that the birthday boy is looking mighty fine. He is so adorable.
Sadly, the blue team is looking at all this man love, with nothing more than a lot of hate. Shane Nelson starts ranting to the camera about red team sucking on each other's dicks. But, after seeing Shane's fashion choices for the fight, I'm thinking that something else is really bothering Shane.
A good ole case of closet rage. Oh, and, love, love, love the baby blue t-shirt and cute accessories.
And, while we're on the subject. Has anybody else noticed the homoerotic art in the house?
I'm thinking somebody on the production crew is trying for a little subliminal influence.
Of course, for good measure, Vinny has his say about the upcoming fight, as well. But, I don't think Vinny's a closet case.
More like your everyday metrosexual psycho.
Even though it hasn't been officially announced, the word is that Jules is going to be called out to fight Vinny, so after the dinner Mini Big Nog goes in search of Jules to discuss strategy for the upcoming fight. Jules makes a spirited effort to convince Mini Big Nog that he's more than a good ole boy fresh off the farm. But, I've got to say that Mini Big Nog isn't looking too impressed and I don't think Jule's is really buying it either. I hate to say this but I think Jules is going to be toast.
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Comments (13)
I've actually read that tickets aren't selling well for the Mir/Nog fight at UFC 92. It's on 12/27 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena. if you're interested.
1 of 13 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on November 1, 2008 4:05 PM
Good recap Yenta - Gotta love your take on all this.
So basically these guys don't know anything about training. Making people suffer, yes. Teaching people how to be a professional, it seems like one coach has an idea.
2 of 13 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on November 1, 2008 6:48 PM
Excellent recap, considering how lame this episode was. (Thanks for the ring girl shots, too!)
I think every child should participate in at least two sports. One team sport and one individual sport. They both have important things to learn. Most of the guys on the blue team clearly skipped team sports... so did their coach.
3 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 2, 2008 10:56 AM
Wow, Yenta, we should get a whole TVGgasm group to go support Nog in Vegas. It would be such fun.
Loved the recap, but this week was kind of lame. I saw commercial for next week though and it looks Junie is up to his normal craziness...
4 of 13 | Posted by rosesarered | Posted on November 3, 2008 6:40 AM
Hi Yenta! love the recaps! Just wanted to mention that the Fainter Phillipe works out at my gym in Brooklyn. If i have any interesting encounters with him, I'll be sure to post :)
5 of 13 | Posted by lovelyval | Posted on November 3, 2008 8:46 AM
Good recap of a pretty boring episode.
Just as a FYI, Nogueira is 31-4-1 in his professional MMA career. His four losses are all by decision. Twenty of his wins are by submission.
Mir has excellent submissions too, but he's never fought anyone as good as Nogueira. If anyone tries to tell me that Tim Sylvia is as good as Nog, they will only succeed in showing me how stupid they are.
I'd be surprised if the fight ends in a submission either way - unless Mir gasses early and gets tapped due to exhaustion later in the fight. I'd be surprised if Mir can fight any more than three rounds and I'd be surprised if Mir can hurt Nog standing. I think Nog will TKO Mir... but I'd not advise to bet on it.
6 of 13 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on November 3, 2008 9:14 AM
I'm getting sick of hearing how everybody on this sight is bashing Mir and his team all the time. There fighters there not supposed to be warm and cuddly.
Yeah your funny sometimes but you just prove that women cant understand this sport.
I say Mir submits Nog in the second round. Nogs an old man now.
7 of 13 | Posted by UFCfan | Posted on November 3, 2008 10:49 AM
Hi Folks,
Love love love reading your comments : )
FreewayShark: That is so sad that the tickets aren't selling well. I would so love to go, but I'm not sure my hubby is going to go for it.
Fire@will: It is weird that Frankie's team doesn't seem to really get the concept of team. It's just a weird dynamic, but, as a recapper, I'm definitely appreciating it.
Rosesarered: I totally agree; a TVGasm cheering section at the fight would be a total hoot, but like I wrote to FreewayShark, I'm just not seeing my hubby go for it. Sigh!
LovelyVal: That is so cool!!! If the rumors are true, he wins this thing and gets the lightweight contract. I think he's supposed to fight next week, so now I'm really excited. Feel free to pass my love on to him ; )
HeyBuddy: So, after reading your post, I really, really want to go see the fight. If Nog KO's Mir, it would be the best Channakuh present ever!! I'm going to be curious to get your opinion of fainter Phillipe's fighting. Supposedly, he's the one that Dana White has picked out to be the next Anderson Silva...
UFCFan: XOXO
Hugs,
Yenta
8 of 13 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on November 3, 2008 11:58 AM
FYI - on Shrek's broken thumb. I'm pretty sure that with a broken nose, if you hit it wrong, the bone can get pushed into your brain and kill you. Not that I think Big Daddy's too concerned about the fighters' well-being, but I would imagine he doesn't want to get sued if somebody dies. Borken thumb, no one gives a s@#&, I would imagine.
9 of 13 | Posted by hejohnsonvc | Posted on November 3, 2008 1:14 PM
That's unfortunate to hear Yenta. As for a broken nose vs broken thumb, if you have a broken nose, then it's a lot harder to breath and it forces you to breath only through your mouth.
10 of 13 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on November 3, 2008 3:51 PM
Yenta: Nog doesn't really possess much KO power - he's got 2 TKO victories, but no direct knockouts.
As far as Phillipe goes, I was really impressed with him in his first fight, but the level of opponent wasn't very high. It'll be interesting to see how he does Wed night. Also, I don't know what rumors you hear, but let's say Phillipe makes the finals. He still has to fight on a UFC Fight Night in December for the lightweight contract - nothing is decided on the show per se.
I could be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure the NSAC will not let anyone fight knowing that they have a broken anything. If Crazy's thumb is truly broken, I don't see him being able to fight. I guess we'll see how up to snuff I am on the rules regarding fighter injuries.
UFCFan: Mir couldn't submit Wes Sims and he had him in some terrible positions for a lengthy amount of time. You're trying to tell me that Mir is submit Nogueira. A man who's never been submitted in a MMA event. Not by Fedor in three fights, not by Nastula, Josh Barnett in two fights or Ricco Rodriguez. BTW - Nog is like 32, 3 yrs older than Mir. Hardly old.
11 of 13 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on November 4, 2008 8:00 AM
"we should get a whole TVGgasm group to go support Nog in Vegas."
Oh that would be awesome! My boyfriend and I would sooo be there if we didn't already have out of town plans for Christmas! We are really disappointed cuz Vegas is not-too-bad driving distance from here and this is one fight we would love to see.
12 of 13 | Posted by Wild Heart | Posted on November 5, 2008 10:28 AM
I. Cannot. Wait. For. The. Next. Recap.
13 of 13 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on November 5, 2008 8:46 PM