Dear Gasmii,
Please, please don't tell me that the Roli/Marilyn slapfest is representative of great UFC fights, I will be crushed. Seriously, I've seen more exciting fights at a Macy's shoe sale. Cutie Pie Roli might have been pathetic in the octagon, but at least he hasn't been spewing about his prowess for the last six weeks. On the other hand, Marilyn/Junie Allen Browning, not only are you an irritating douchebag, but you're one boring ass fighter as well. So, yeah, this week's episode seriously annoyed me.

Excuse me, sir, but there's a head coming out of your ass.
After Elliot finished off Shane Primm last week, the blue team gained control over which of the light weights would fight next. And, that means Marilyn finally gets to take his constantly running mouth into the octagon. For me, this is where my suspicions about Marilyn's abilities, or lack thereof begin to fully crystalize. If Junie is the embodiment of all that is truly powerful and great in MMA, as he claims, then you'd think Frank Mir would pair him up with Philippe Nover or Hugger John in hopes of taking out the red teams strong lightweight fighters. But, no. Instead, Frankie asks Marilyn to knock out the weakest member or of the red team, Cutie Pie Roli Delgado. And, I don't mean knock him out of the competition. Frankie wants Marilyn to knock him out as in Roli lying on the ground with little birdies flying around his head. Now, don't get me wrong, Roli, is one of my favorites in the house, but I'm not sure that I'd trust him to hold his ground in a strong wind. So, it seems to me that in his teeny, tiny, little heart Frankie doesn't really feel that confident in Marilyn. And, after reading the weekly blog written by Frankie's assistant coach, Ken Hahn, I've got to say that I'm feeling a little bad for Frankie. Sure, he's an arrogant jerk, but he probably doesn't have a whole lot of experience dealing with schizophrenic trailer trash. Not to type cast Marilyn, but he is apparently living in a reality not commonly shared by others, he does/did live in a trailer, and I have no trouble classifying him as trash. According to Ken Hahn, nobody on the blue team wanted to deal with Marilyn's prima donna attitude, and at practice he would often just do his own shadow boxing. Personally, I suspect that in Marilyn's mind he wasn't shadow boxing. In Marilyn's mind the shadows were real fighters.

Hell, he probably believes he's KO'd Anderson Silva 3 or 4 times already.
No wonder Marilyn thinks he's hot shit. Of course, the small part of Marilyn's mind that is still able to perceive reality, is probably in a state of perpetual panic about the position he's managed to catapult himself into. I mean he's locked in a house with a bunch of trained fighters that are hell bent on seeing him get his ass kicked. I honestly believe that the "sane" part of Marilyn's mind has been working hard on getting him kicked off the show before he has to face "reality" in the octagon. Unfortunately, despite Marilyn's best attempts at drunken assault and battery, Big Daddy isn't about to let him go. After all, mental illness=ratings.

I'm an equal opportunity ratings whore.
Even right up to the fight, Marilyn was still refusing to work with the blue team's coaches to help him prepare for the fight. Somewhat, hilariously, Ken Hahn comments that Marilyn's actions "actually benefited his teammates, because they ultimately had more individual time to spend with our coaching staff."
After Eliot wins his fight against Shane, Frankie Mir and his coaches come back to the house to celebrate with the blue team.

Because you know they need an excuse to drink in this house.
And, Frankie starts asking Cutie Pie Roli about his black belt. I have to say that Frankie's questioning comes off better than it did in the previews, but his interviewing with the camera is still pretty disrespectful. Seriously, this guy just doesn't want to act like a leader. Instead, he just wants to be another 'good ole boy' kicking around the house, freezing underwear, and downing shots of tequila. And, of course, Frankie's attitude only feeds in to the nasty, behind the back, giggling, behavior of the fighters.

Seriously, Dude, just get your wanger snipped, take a few hormones and enroll in an all girls boarding school.
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Comments (13)
Great recap Yenta. I was also really unimpressed with Junie. I've never seen a fighter talk himself up so much and do so poorly in his fight. And yeah, there is a weird bonding that happens between guys after a tough fight. Especially with Roli, who I agree could have gotten knocked out with a cotton ball stood in there for 3 rounds and never backed down. That made the other fighters, especially Junie, respect him. As for the weight limits, I've come to understand that fighters can weigh 1 pound over the limit in non-title fights. For title fights, they just weigh the exact limit.
1 of 13 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on October 24, 2008 11:54 AM
I can guess at the motives for the one pound weight allowance - maybe in case the scales are not 100 percent accurate? It is the same rule for both fighters and they all know it in advance.
I pretty much agreed with everything you wrote. Only I kept thinking I'd seen better fights behind the gym in high school. they both looked like they didn't really want to be there. I kept yelling at Roli to MOVE and to raise his hands (does he have a fear of being hit in the nipples?)
I noticed Junie didn't touch gloves at the start of the first round. I think he had a pretty serious attitude change by the end of the round, though.
I will be surprised if his sudden humility lasts very long. I do think he will train harder - and make weight before the next fight. That hour of torture the day before had to effect his endurance.
Lowered respect, especially for Mir - for picking Roli and for picking on him in the house about the black belt (and I agree that a "real" black belt normally takes years of intense training - but there are places you can get one by just paying enough money and - optionally - taking a few classes.)
You are doing a great job of recapping... you even noticed the most important point (Dana, are you reading this?) - the lack of adequate footage of the ring girl (maybe they thought the fighters looked girlish enough this week?).
2 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 24, 2008 11:57 AM
yenta-honey...
Awesome recap! I am finding myself more and more fascinated by this whole sport, it is really interesting to see how these people deal with competition, adversity and even defeat. I can't help but wonder how many of these guys were bullies as kids, though, because some of that mentality (screwing with someone for no other reason than because you can) is just incredible to me. I would have thought in the adult and so-called professional world of MMA it would be frowned upon, but I guess that's not exactly the case. And it is a reality TV show, so I'm sure bad behavior is like ratings gold, if they were all perfect gentlemen and said "please" and "thank you" there'd prolly be a lot less people watching.
Weirdly enough, I actually have some martial arts experience, I took 2-3 times weekly classes in Tae Kwon Do for three years (in a vain effort to try to keep my ass from getting beat up so much... it didn't work, I found that it was lots easier for me to run like the wind and leave most of my tormentors in my gay dust) and it was NOT AT ALL EASY to graduate to the next belt color. It took me those three years to get to blue belt (the style we were learning had about fifty belt colors before you could hope to touch black) and I had to go an awful lot in order to learn what I needed to learn. The funny thing was that as a dancer I had the easiest time learning the various "form" routines (they call them "katas" in other disciplines), which some of my classmates (some of them a lot older than me) tended to struggle mightily with... of course, I was always wishing we were doing these routines to a cute Madonna song, but that would probably have been frowned upon.
Keep up the great work, luv!
love, J-Mo :)
3 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:08 PM
"... leave most of my tormentors in my gay dust"
Hey J-Mo, apparently some of your gay dust landed on Nathan Lane.
4 of 13 | Posted by OYWHATNEXT | Posted on October 24, 2008 12:19 PM
Apology??? What apology?? "I was just fucking around with all that black belt stuff." I never once heard the word "sorry" from that little loser. And Frankie's all like "he went over to Nogueira and apologized all on his own." I call shenanigans on that sorry-ass apology!
Nogueira is one of the best coaches I've seen on TUF, in terms of how he cares about his guys and how he treats people. And he's certainly no slouch in the fighting department either. :)
I have to give props to Roli, who I thought would go down really quickly, for lasting all the way through 3 rounds. Junie was as big a disappointment as I thought he'd be - all talk, no action.
5 of 13 | Posted by Wild Heart | Posted on October 24, 2008 2:25 PM
Hey, J-Mo!
I studied various forms of karate for years. My understanding is that Tae Kwon Doe is pretty much a (great) sport rather than a serious self defense program and seems to emphasize kicks over hand techniques.
I know what you mean about the forms and us stretch-challenged folk. I watch SYTYCD and think how easy it would be for those people to learn and execute all the forms. I consdier myself fairly coordinated, but they master in a few days what I couldn't do - ever.
6 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 24, 2008 2:43 PM
Another great recap.
The screen shots and comments of the "fight" are classic!
It just astounds me that people trying to go pro at this have not figured out that you have to be in shape. Maybe they should have some Billy Banks Ti-Bo videos in the house. I am sure they could create a drinking game that goes along with it.
7 of 13 | Posted by mcl | Posted on October 24, 2008 2:54 PM
Yenta you are too funny!!!
Im actually starting to watch this show, and OMG what a group of drama queens. Who knew? My husband thinks I'm crazy, of course.
J-Mo I so agree with the bullying thing. It's so obvious that some of these guys miss the days of tormenting other kids on the playground. I'm a school teacher and I'm all over that stuff!!!
Wild Heart you are so right about the apology. Junie is so pathetic. And, Im so psyched that there's another female reading these : )
Oh well, back to my grading...
8 of 13 | Posted by rosesarered | Posted on October 24, 2008 4:54 PM
Hi folks,
Freeway Shark: I really appreciate your taking the time to explain the weight cut-off business. I don't understand the reasoning, but at least I now know when to expect the weight limit to be fully enforced. And, also the bonding thing, which I still don't understand, but I'm willing to take your word for it : ) I have to say, though, if I was in a fifteen minute brawl against somebody, chances are I wouldn't come out of it wanting to hug them. Maybe it just a mars/venus thing?
J-Mo: I love that you studied Tai Kwon Do. How cool is that? I bet you were sexy as hell out there doing your kicks and forms : ) I once looked in to self-defense lessons and a good friend, who was a pretty serious boxer, advised me to get a large dog instead. I now have two and a half dogs (one only weighs in at seven lbs) and I must admit I feel pretty safe : )
OYWHATNEXT: ???? but feel free to mention Nathan Lane any time. Love Him.
WildHeart: What a riot your post is : ) and I totally agree the little turd ducked on apologizing. Nogueira is definitely a hot ticket. I'd have no trouble entrusting my son to him as a coach, where there's no way I'd want my son to hang out around Frank Mir.
Fire@will: I totally missed that Junie didn't touch gloves at the beginning of the fight. Wow, how embarrassing for me and what a little schmuck he is. I will however send Dana White e-mail demanding more on screen time for the ring girls just to make you happy : )
McL: I love the tai boe drinking game idea. Too funny.
Rosesarered: I bet you're an awesome school teacher. Please kick some bullying booty on my behalf as well.
I saw a commercial that makes it look like Krazy is going to be out with injury before he ever even fights. I wonder if that's who Shane Primm is going to replace? If that rumor is even true. Sigh.
Hugs,
Yenta
9 of 13 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 27, 2008 5:49 AM
Yenta:
Maybe I'm just restating what has already been said, but the reasoning behind the one pound weight allowance is due to the fact that fighters weight themselves on scales other than the "official" weigh-in scale while cutting weight. Due to the differences in scale calibration, they give that one pound leeway.
I think Junie is a better fighter than he showed in his fight with Roli. I hate defending Junie, but I think cutting weight took it's toll on him. It's no excuse, as he should have been closer to fight weight already, but there it is. Cutting weight takes its toll not only physically but mentally and we all know that the mental aspect of the fight game is not Marilyn's strong suit.
J-Mo:
Sorry you were picked on. You really chose the wrong martial art to study (TKD) for self defense. For pure self defense, I can't think of a better MA than boxing...maybe Muay Thai. Others may argue that knowing some ground fighting is necessary, but the problem with that is it's rare that fights stay one on one. If a fight goes to the ground there are too many variables. Did you get hurt falling on cement? Are there weapons involved?
I think you had it right all along. Run! Because seriously, what moron gets in a street fight?
10 of 13 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on October 27, 2008 8:05 AM
HeyBuddy: "Because seriously, what moron gets in a street fight?" LOL!!!
With your permission, I'm definitely plagiarizing that line.
And, to both you and Fire@will thanks for the further clarification on the weight stuff.
Hugs,
Yenta
11 of 13 | Posted by YentaPatrol | Posted on October 27, 2008 9:24 AM
I think it absolutely is a guy thing Yenta
12 of 13 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on October 27, 2008 4:13 PM
Hey Buddy & fire@will...
Yeah, I prolly did pick kind of a weird discipline to study, but as a gay kid I think TKD appealed to me because it was so much like dance (I'm sure the hardcord TKD people would howl if they read me write that) and relied a lot more on legwork (something I am good at). You are right, though, I found it much easier to simply get the hell out of there, and most of the bullies I dealt with were too stupid, fat and slow to catch me, LOL...
love, J-Mo :)
13 of 13 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 28, 2008 8:45 AM