Hey Gasmii,
Here we are down to 16 'contendahs'; 8 semi heavyweight and 8 lightweight, all about to take up residence in the Training House. Let the dysfunction begin...
Boys will be boys.
And, with that mildly titillating beginning, let's all down the obligatory and medically necessary sedative of our choice and take the jump...
In order to combat any lingering doubts about the prowess of the male specimens competing on the show, the editors aren't above a little subliminal manipulation. To put us in the proper frame of mind, we are treated to a short montage of shots featuring fountains of water shooting into the air:
A statue clutching what could easily be construed as a spurting phallus:
And a large plane:
Thank you, editors. Now that we have made these subtle associations, we are in the proper frame of mind to recognize the 'contendahs' as highly virile young studs instead of desperate losers. And, we are ready to watch them enter that bastion of male testosterone, the Training House.
"It looks like a gingerbread house."
The fighters mill around the house getting comfortable, because win or lose, unless they get injured or thrown out, they're in the house for the full eight weeks up until the semi-final rounds. This is where this show and other reality shows part ways. Just because you lose the fight, doesn't mean you go home. You get to stay and train and provide a warm body for the other fighters to practice their skills on. It also means that the inevitable drama in the house has almost no hope of fading over time. Yay, Ultimate Fighter.
Ryan Bader, who seems to be fairly intelligent and rational, tells us that he's there for the sole purpose of advancing his career.
The token well-adjusted 'normal' guy.
On the other hand, Junie, whom I previously nicknamed Marilyn, tells us that he was raised to be tough in a small trailer with two older brothers who beat the shit out of him. I have to say that Marilyn is coming across as a lot less charming in this interview. He also looks a hell of a lot older than 22 years old.
Definitely time for a cucumber/yogurt facial to erase those tired bags.
And, then, there's Krazy, who tells us that a lot of the guys in the house grew up fighting on the street or in school, but, strangely, he'd never been in a fight before he took up jujitsu five years before.
Dude, have you looked in the mirror?!?
The weird thing about Krazy is that he looks like some B-rated slasher film serial killer, but he sounds kind of nerdy when he talks. There's definitely a bizarre disconnect between his appearance and his personality.
The next morning we get another shot of sprinklers:
Just in case our subconscious needs some prodding.
The boys are happily preparing there breakfasts and starting small fires:
If you can't blow it out, I hear water works well on grease fires...
Really, it's a Darwinian miracle that the majority of these guys have lived as long as they have. The morning's discussion revolves around Brian McLaughlin's and Karn Gregorian's noses. After their fights, they were both sent for Cat Scans and, low and behold, they both have fractured noses, as opposed to broken noses. A fine distinction to us, but, to them, the difference between a crack and a break may mean the difference between staying in the house and being sent home. However, I'm thinking a little more optimistically--What a wonderful opportunity for a nose job!!! I'm telling you guys, work with your doctor and it can all be covered by insurance. Just think, it could give these guys a whole new grasp on life. I know, I've seen it happen over and over, again. Of course, in my world, nose jobs for girls are like a right of passage, up there with getting their periods and being bat mitzvahed.
Just a little off the tip
A more petite straight nose brings out the bone structure. Of course, he'd probably flatten it like a pancake in a week. Sigh...
At the gym, Big Daddy gathers all the fighters together so the coaches can pick their teams. But, first, he delivers the sad news that, because of the schnoz fractures, the Nevada Athletic Association has suspended Brian and Karn for 180 days, so they'll have to go home. Brian and Karn hang their heads and walk slowly over to the side of the room, where Brian sinks on to the bench and Karn gently punches the wall.
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Comments (14)
Sudden Victory works like this, If the fight is a draw after 2 rounds then the fighters have one final round where the judges will only base their decision on that third round unless the fight gets stopped before the round ends. Hope that helps.
1 of 14 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on October 3, 2008 2:41 PM
For some reason I could not get past the first page of the review without having to:
drain the dragon
see a man about a dog
see a man about a horse
take a whiz
take a squirt
take a leak
hang a yoo-ee
drain (one's) lizard
Hmmm. I guess we might have a things about urination after all.
Oh wait maybe it's not urination...
2 of 14 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on October 3, 2008 3:27 PM
I forgot to add, Great Recap!!
3 of 14 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on October 3, 2008 4:39 PM
just a quick FYI on the pissing on the bed...in the first season of TUF, one of the fighters in the house, Chris Lebon, did piss on the bed of one of the other fighters. Guessing that is where his comments came from.
Great recap!
4 of 14 | Posted by ki316 | Posted on October 3, 2008 6:19 PM
Junie Browning is a great fighter. I think hes just showing off for the camara
Nobody likes the UFC judges.
5 of 14 | Posted by UFCfan | Posted on October 4, 2008 9:59 AM
Hi Guys:
FreewayShark: Thanks so much for the explanation. I hope I don't have to watch a fight that I'm invested in go to sudden death. I could see getting really frustrated with a decision that I felt went against the earlier rounds.
Bmcl: Thanks for the list of entertaining expressions. How creative you guys can be.
Ki316: I have heard Chris Lebon's name come up as some sort of gold standard in outrageous behavior. Now, I know why...I appreciate the info.
UFCfan: I hope you're right about Junie for his sake. Thanks for chiming in.
Hugs to everybody.
I really appreciate all the comments.
Yenta
6 of 14 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 4, 2008 1:36 PM
Outstanding recap.
Junie is Chris Lebon version 2.0... lots of similarities. I think Lebon ended up winning the first season - and has gone on to do very well in the UFC since.
After this show, I have to pick Ryan as one of the favorites in the LHW division.
I concur with your opinions of the coaches. I prefer the red team's style.
Don't ask how I know this, but in an emergency you can pee on a gunshot wound to disinfect it - I think it must be the ammonia.
7 of 14 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 4, 2008 10:29 PM
Too Too Funny!! Am I the only female reading these? OMG, these recaps are a riot.
Who knew pissing was such big thing with men? It's like watching a movie on the hidden life of men when no women are around...
Thank Yenta for the laughs.
8 of 14 | Posted by rosesarered | Posted on October 5, 2008 7:35 AM
You are welcome Yenta. You're doing great with these recaps.
fire@will, Chris Leben didn't win the Ultimate Fighter. The Middleweight champ that year was Diego Sanchez. Leben was eliminated twice, once by Josh Koschceck and finally by Kenny Florian.
9 of 14 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on October 6, 2008 1:53 AM
Thanks for the correction, FreewayShark.
However he does this season - short of totally pissing off Dana - he still could end up being a UFC star (or a 15 minutes flame followed by a steep descent into obscurity). I hope he works it out.
It might be interesting to know if Lebon 1.0 made radical personal changes after the show.
10 of 14 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 6, 2008 10:23 AM
Great recap, Yenta!
"A more petite straight nose brings out the bone structure. Of course, he'd probably flatten it like a pancake in a week. Sigh..." Bwahahahahaha!!! I think *I* peed on my chair when I read that! You are totally making this stuff intriguing to me (and I am obviously not in the market for this whole sport, other than the cheap titillation and unintended double-entendrés... oh, and the phallic imagery, LOL!) It's interesting to see how hetero-reality TV lives, though...
Keep up the great work!
love, J-Mo :)
11 of 14 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 6, 2008 8:20 PM
OMG, I am so excited for wed. episode. I'm dying to see why Junie vaults into the cage...
Anyhoo, Fire@will Heart always,
FreewayShark you are totally my MMA resource.
Rosesarered, thank God there's another woman out there in MMA land
J-Mo you are sooo the best
I can't wait until Wed. !!! Oh, crap Yom Kippur, well at least until I can see the tape. OY!!
12 of 14 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 7, 2008 3:31 AM
I was not able to see last week's episode, but I enjoyed your recap.
Junie is certainly a colorful character, but I don't see any of these guys being actual contenders anytime soon.
I think it's disgraceful when the guys get drunk and act like a bunch of total idiots. As a true fan of the sport, it pains me to see them propagate the notion that every mixed martial artist is a lunkhead/drunk/psychopath.
Guess it makes for good TV though, so,um, aces I suppose.
13 of 14 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on October 7, 2008 2:05 PM
Nope you are definitely not the only ladies watching and reading about this show! :) Great recaps Yenta - you keep me in stitches!
Chris Leben has had somewhat of an attitude change since he started training in Hawaii with BJ Penn. He lost to Michael Bisping last week and was fairly gracious about it (gracious for Chris Leben that is). He's still a bit of a punk though.
I can't stand that little Junie fucker! I can't wait to see him kicked off the show, but I see Dana leaving him on because of the DRAMA. I hope someone cleans Junie's clock but good!
14 of 14 | Posted by Wild Heart | Posted on October 21, 2008 12:03 PM