Dear Gasmii,
This week, it is fully confirmed that our fighters have failed to grasp the fundamental reasons behind the separation of kitchen and bathroom. Seriously, how limited do you have to be to grasp the concept that what goes into a body should not get mixed up with what comes out of a body?
One of these two has never peed on food...
And, the sad thing is that urine is the least of the bodily fluids that we're treated to this week. So, join me after the jump to find out how TUF is continuing on its determined course toward fetish porn.
As usual, we start this week with a recap of the last episode's fight between "Small Balls" Vinny and Farmboy Jules. One immediate and pressing issue arises from this segment. An issue that would I personally consider serious enough to call an all out emergency for; that being Hugger John's hair:
Seriously, call Tabitha!! STAT!!
Back at the house of domestic tranquility, the fighters continue to model those qualities of character that every decent person should aspire to. Apparently, the red team has been making it a practice to steal and consume Tom Lawlor's fruit tray as a joke. Hah-hah. It seems that Tom Lawlor asks for a daily fruit tray, and every day, when he returns from practice, its gone. Note to Tom: I feel your pain. Dieting is hard work and when somebody's messing with your food, it's almost impossible. In my opinion Tom Lawlor is justifiably pissed off and justified in taking extreme measures like sitting down and talking to the other team to draw up a list of house rules, or ordering two fruit trays, or, if all of the above fail, rubbing the fruit with hot chili juice.
Tom apparently draws his inspiration from higher cultural references. I'm thinking he's got to be a big fan of the Bad Girls Club. Who knew? Tom's solution is to tinkle on his own fruit tray, because, hey, it's his fruit tray. If he wants to take a whiz on his own fruit, who can blame him? Not only does Tom donate his urine, but, Vinny, never one to miss out on whiz, joins him, as well as Marilyn and Shane Nelson. It's a golden shower orgy and the cumulative effect is to leave about two inches of urine in the bottom of the container.
Definitely not Kosher.
The nice thing about this incident is that it finally gives the blue team a chance to display their teamwork. It's kind of sweet to see them yelling out helpful tips to each other, such as "shake it, shake it". After all, peeing is such a challenging event it clearly needs group support.
Proof that Marilyn can play nicely with others.
I just want to take a moment to acknowledge George Roop, as one member of the blue team that seems to be something of an anomally. In his blogs, he actually avoided getting on board the Roli bashing bus from a few weeks ago, and he's managed to stay temperate and away from the worst excesses. While the pissing pack is going at it, George is hanging out in the hot tub watching them, but refusing to join in. His take on it is simple, "That's just wrong."
George Roop, possibly not a dickwad.
With the fruit plate carefully resealed and lovingly stored back in the refrigerator, we go to the fight pick of the week. This week is a lightweight fight and "Coach" Frankie calls out Dave Kaplan from the blue team and Phillipe Nover from the red team.
Dave Kaplan, an activist for leprechaun rights
Phillipe Nover, emergency room nurse from hell
Dave has been dying to fight Phillipe because he was first pick and is ostensibly the best fighter in the house. And Phillipe has just been dying to fight. "Coach" Frankie is, of course, super confident about Dave winning, because how could the blue team possibly lose?
At the house of tranquility, the red team is returning from their practice and, apparently, they are seriously jonesing for a fruit fix. The door to the house has barely shut before Ryan Bader scuttles to the fridge to gleefully steal the truly organic, urine soaked, goodies. In no time at all, the red team is chowing down on the delicacies with a lip smacking gusto, and OMG this is the most disgusting thing I've seen.
The cameramen must be dead or made of stone, if they weren't laughing their asses off.
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Comments (11)
First let me say great recap. You make all of this entertaining.
Because the show was not.
This is what this show has come to? Really?
They get paid to show this on TV?
1 of 11 | Posted by bmcl | Posted on November 7, 2008 3:09 PM
This was easily the most disgusting episode ever! The worst was the balut (which I confirmed with my Filipino friend is a great delicacy). Bleeeccchhhh!
The fight was great though. I knew Phillipe would win - Kaplan seems to be a lot of hot air just like Junie. And how hypocritical was it of old Marilyn to point out that Dave is all talk??
I loved the confused expression on Frankie's face when Phillipe won.....HA! Take that "coach"! :)
2 of 11 | Posted by Wild Heart | Posted on November 7, 2008 3:50 PM
I might be in the minority here, but I thought the urine in the fruit was hilarious. But after watching this episode late, I have come to the conclusion that neither team ate any contaminated food. The production probably switched out the food while no one else was there. My biggest reason for believing this is the fact that urine has a very noticeable smell and Phillipe as a nurse should have been able to detect that. And the level of piss was so obvious, that one of them HAD to have noticed it.
3 of 11 | Posted by FreewayShatk | Posted on November 7, 2008 8:50 PM
Wild Heart I completely agree with you--the most DISGUSTING episode ever. And I loved "Coach" Frankie's expression, as well.
FreewayShark my husband thought the marinated fruit was hilarious too!! I think it might be a guy thing to be more tolerant around that stuff : ) But eeeewwwwww!!!!! I wonder if you're right about the producer's switching the fruit. That would explain a lot. Also, I can't help wondering if there couldn't be some sort of liability involved?
Anyway, Yenta it was a great recap. GO RED TEAM!!
4 of 11 | Posted by rosesarered | Posted on November 9, 2008 8:13 AM
I don't even watch this show, but with that intro I had to read the recap!!
I have to agree with previous posters who said they thought the producers switched it. When reading the recap, I kept thinking "I can't believe they are letting them eat that!" On other shows when people have done something like clean the toilet with someone's toothbrushes, there has always been some sort of intervention. I can't believe the same wouldn't happen here. After all, what if one of the eaters got hepatitis from the urine? There would be lawsuits a-plenty! I'm sure all of the folks were tested before coming on the show, but still.
5 of 11 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 9, 2008 1:52 PM
This was perhaps the worst episode ever. I did enjoy seeing long persecuted (and incredibly stoic) Phillipe win the fight over yet another crude blowhard.
I hadn't thought of it, but I hope you guys are right about the food switching.
More than any other, this episode made me glad I hadn't talked a non-UFC fan into watching. So many bad examples to choose from. (And a few good ones).
A agree with your picks - Bader and Phillipe. They are certainly in the hunt to win it... and they set good examples as well.
6 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 9, 2008 10:03 PM
Oh! I almost forgot! Thanks for the screencaps of the ring girl!
7 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 9, 2008 10:04 PM
Hi Folks:
I have to say that I'm excited about the next couple of weeks. The fight matchups at least promise to be interesting.
Bmcl: I agree the shows a big leap from anything else I've seen on TV. It even sets a new low for reality TV. Yikes!!
Wild Heart: OMG the balut. Wow, talk about an eclectic palate!! I'm hoping that "Coach" Franke's expression of amazement stays on his face over the next couple of episodes.
FreewayShark: I have to admit that even though I was horrified and would think twice about having him in my house, I was giggling over Tom Lawlor peeing in the fruit tray. My hubby was actually more disgusted than I was. I must be getting desensitized watching this show.
After thinking it over, I have to wonder if you aren't right about the producers intervening--Clever fellow
Rosesarered: Let's keep our fingers, toes, and challah crossed for the red team : )
Fire@will: From reading some of the fighter's blogs I gather that next week is going to be even worse, so you may want to wait another week before introducing your friend to this trainwreck. Oy Veh!!
Thanks so much for posting. After a particularly yucky weekend, it was so nice to read your comments : )
Hugs,
Yenta
Snootchy Bootches: Thanks for reading and posting
8 of 11 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on November 10, 2008 6:46 AM
"The production probably switched out the food while no one else was there."
My boyfriend said the same thing and I agree. He also thinks that the fighters made too much of a show out of how "delicious" the fruit was, so they may have been in on the switch and were just told to play it up. There's no way they would let anyone unknowingly consume the bodily fluids of another person. Like Snootchy Bootches said, that's a lawsuit waiting to happen.
9 of 11 | Posted by Wild Heart | Posted on November 10, 2008 12:52 PM
People! It's called Suspension of Disbelief. If you are going to "enjoy" - and I use that term in it's most liberal sense - this show you have to be able to stop thinking about what is plausible. If the show tells us that the guys ate wee and man juice, then they ate wee and man juice.
Gross.
10 of 11 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on November 11, 2008 8:11 AM
Awww, come on, what's a little man-juice? I can't believe these big, tough guys are so freaked out by something that the ladies (and some of us fellas) have to ingest every other day (or every day if I'm having a particularly good week). Of course, they're not gay, so I'm sure that in their minds "ingesting jizz = major homosexualness" but personally I think as far as sexual deviants go, the piss-drinking crowd are a tad worse (not to mention unfuckingkissable). Too funny!
Sorry I've been incommunicado Yenta, but I was in Vegas being forced to watch the likes of ring-girl "dance" (which mostly involved a lot of walking back and forth, ass-shaking and touching/flipping her hair)... so sad.
Great recap!
love, J-Mo :)
11 of 11 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on November 11, 2008 12:04 PM