V: The Lizards Take Manhattan

Start spreading the news, scaly skinned lizards are hitting the streets of Manhattan. What? No this isn't a recap for Real Housewives of New York, we're talking about V so make the jump and see what shenanigans space lizards can get into.

Good lizards
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Bad lizards
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Our episode of V starts with PICK SURES! Sorry, that's always how I picture Mariah Carey saying that word, and it's always followed by her saying, "Nicky, hold my purse." Sorry again, that part doesn't have any thing to do with this show. My god, 27 words in and I'm already babbling. Well folks looks like we're well on our way to another tight as a drum 6,500 word recap on a show that's 44 minutes long minus commercials.

Anyway, Anna and the rest of the V's are getting their pictures taken. Why? Good question, and lucky for us Bailey 2.0 is on hand to start spoon feeding us exposition right from the get go. Last episode the V's got diplomatic recognition, which means they can get visas now and wander around the good old USofA stealing our jobs, seeing the sights.

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My god, it's not just humans; ID's make all species look like crap

Bailey 2.0 finishes up his newscast as the V's get ready to go into New York to buy tee-shirts and see The Lion King. Bailey's fairly hot co-worker takes this time to point out he made this all possible. This little fact gives Bailey 2.0 the same sort of queasy face everyone comes back with after a tour of the hot dog plant. Hey, buck up little man; you can't get some serious ratings without breaking a few eggs. You're selling out humanity. Oprah has to find people who got their faces ripped off by monkeys. Cheer up Bailey 2.0, as of right now you're holding the moral high ground.

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Oh my god, they use lips and assholes


Anna comes out, waves her passport at everybody, and then hops in an elevator so she can give everybody the stink eye as she zips up, up and away, and it gives Bailey 2.0 one last chance to make his hot dog plant face.

From this scene we zip over to Our Lady of Perpetual Plot Points, and hey Soap Opera Priest is hearing confession. Oh this should be juicy; I mean when you think about what people will confess to in a taxicab on HBO just imagine what they'll spill to in a little wooden box at Church. We then get a montage of Soap Opera Priest hearing a bunch of confessions, and oh man what a complete gyp. Nobody is talking about getting a hooker, or being a hooker, or taking a hooker to breakfast in a taxicab, instead everyone has a serious case of the boohoos about the V's messing with their faith in God. Yeah, I know, totally boring, and even Soap Opera Priest thinks so because he's sitting there in his little booth with the same look I have on my face at weekly staff meeting. Looks like I wasn't the only one hoping for hooker stories here.

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Okay, that's 10 Our Fathers, 5 Hail Marys, and don't come back until you can at least make up some good sins


From our peek at job place disappointment in the most unlikely of places, we cut over to FBI Mom's casa. She's in the kitchen being a busy little bee with that pilfered FBI list she swiped last week. She's a little agitated, because she tweaking balls big time, has had a little trouble sleeping over the past few days.

High School Musical Kid wanders in just in time to hear his mom start freaking because Bailey 2.0 is on TV talking about the V's. This scene is ultra realistic because High School Musical Kid gets that "oh crap, not the news" face that every child over the age of 12 gets when they are in the same room with a parent watching the news. It's a perfectly deserved face too, because FBI Mom is yammering about 9/11 and how those V's aren't to be trusted one bit.

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Comments (11)

njgasmifan:

I would have commented earlier, but Waffleboy made me hungry for rumaki....

Great job once again. Your screencap "Secrets? Why baby, you're the woman I want to hatch my eggs. Err I mean have my babies?" had me in total giggles. I still find the show a bit choppy, but overall agree that it's improving.

It seemed odd that no one (including FBI Mom) seemed to object to turning over the shooter to the Vs. Really? That's how we deal with dangerous people? Of course we now know that he was a plant, but still think someone on the FBI team should have wanted to question him.

BF and I decided that the angry widow had her brain scrubbed when she and Anna had their "talk". No other way to explain the switcherooni in attitude.

Sorry to hear tonight is the last show till January. I hope I still remember who's who by then. Thanks for the great recap Waffleboy, you really put a smile on my face today. HUGS! xoxo

NotWithoutMyTV:

Something about this show really irritates me (above and beyond the state of irritation I normally inhabit), and I don't know what it is. The plotting irritates me, the cast definitely irritates me. FBI Mom's posture irritates me (slouching and dressing WAY down for work does not make you a rebel, Lost chickie).

I think maybe the problem is that they left a lot of the cheesiness in from the old tv series. This "reimagining" is definitely, emphatically, made for TV. Put in a blender, rendered down to paste, and spoon fed to viewers with an overabundance of TV cliche flavoring.

And they found a way to make Inara really creepy and unattractive, which I also do not appreciate. Once I have typecast you as a smoldering hottie, I'm not in the habit of allowing you to make redefining career choices...

NotWithoutMyTV:

I also think that December hiatus is going to kill this show the same way it's going to do to several others.

It's like a mini writer's strike, and I'm surprised the networks would voluntarily recreate a situation where viewers will drift away due to absence. It's not like Courtney Cox's family issue/nose candy problem is shutting this thing down.

blkarkitect:

I actually think the leader of the protest was killed and replaced with a V, not mind-wiped.

The show is getting better, but I have problems with a couple of plot points. Lets hopw it doesn't go the way of "Heroes" and just blazenly ignore contradictions and logic.

njgasmifan:

@blkarkitect - I stand corrected, there IS another possiblity for the widow's change in 'tude. Good thought, thanks.

Vince:

I enjoy this show but it definately seems to be struggling to find it's groove.

Your recaps are much more entertaining. Although I'm not too crazy about some of your nicknames, "Denthead" is definately a keeper.

rj472:

I just wonder how many people are even going to remember this show when it returns in March.

Wildheart:
>I also think that December hiatus is going to kill this show the same way it's going to do to several others.

I agree....wtf were they thinking doing this?? This is the kind of crap that almost killed Lost, which is why Lost went the way of 24 and now has a "straight-through" season starting in January. I can understand (but not agree with) a hiatus until after the holidays.....but March?? That's just ridiculous.

Wildheart:

Oh and I posted this late on last week's recap, but my BF and I think that Erica's boss at the FBI is also a V. :)

Vince:

I agree, 3-4 months is too long of a hiatus. ABC must be banking on the Lost viewership to carry it, since it appears that both shows will be on Tuesday. We shall see. I watch Lost religiously so I'll still stick with V.

waffleboy09:

Hi everyone

njgasmifan, as always your very welcome for enjoying any giggles they may come with reading these things. As for FBI mom not making a bigger stink when they hustled off the (fake) shooter. I could see the V's getting custody if you're working from the premise that the lizard clubhouses are like embassies. That being said, the idea that a human being would disappear into alien custody without another word of explanation of who he is or what is going to happen to him, is just more proof this show's producers really think thinking is bad for you.
Also, FBI Mom can't make too big a stink about the V's on the job because she's running a secret anti-alien conspiracy out of her breakfast nook and can't attract attention to herself.

NotWithoutMyTV: I agree with you on FBI Mom's wardrobe. It's like everyday is casual Friday for her.
As for the lack of cheesiness, I think that is because this show is a serious as a funeral. This is just my opinion, but I really think the network and the producers desperately want to make the next Battlestar Galactica, and are ignoring the fact they have a show with space lizards. I'd love to see them loosen up and little bit and have a little fun with the material.

blkarkitect: cool theory. I like njgasmifan's a little better, just because I think that woman's kids would be less likely to notice a mom who got her brain fiddled with then a space lizards wearing a mom skin suit. Either way they are both way better theories then mine, because the script says so.

Vince: Thanks, I liked that one too, too bad Denthead went to Character Actor Heaven.

Wildheart: That's a good bet on FBI Mom's boss being the other V at the FBI, mainly because we only know two other people FBI Mom works with, him and that lady agent who didn't do anything with the information that soap opera priest gave her. I like your odds on this one.

All of you guys got me thinking about why ABC would pull this show off the air for three months and still think people will watch it. Well after I set my first theory aside, that ABC programing is full of a bunch of low grade inbred mornons (Hello people, Hank?)
The best case scenario I can see for them doing this, is that ABC likes this show and has faith in it to generate ratings for them. For starters they previewed it during the November sweeps, and even though the numbers are trailing down, it didn't do that bad.
Now as for the three month break, let's break that down. Even if the show wasn't going on hiatus, we probably wouldn't get any new episodes in December anyway. Networks work under the assumption that nobody watches TV in December, so they aren't trotting out new episodes to play on dead air. At best we'd get a couple of repeats and a Christmas Special where Donny Osmond trades canned banter with a third string Muppet.
January is going to be all about the Olympics (or as I like to call them, My four Year Reminder that Ice Dancing is Rigged), so even if they did show new episodes we wouldn't have any chance to get into the flow of the show, so they'd be kind of wasted there too.
Okay, why not February? This is where my flimsy house of cards gets extra flimsy. February is a prime TV month, translation, the weather sucks and nobody has any money. Also, it's another sweeps month, so if you think this show can pull in viewers, then this is a month you'd like to see it on the air. So isn't ABC starting the show back up here instead of in March?
I think it's because of the magic number 13. They have 9 more episodes to go this season, so by my math this show should finish up in the beginning of May Sweeps, and hopefully getting the network a nice big audience tuning in for the season finale.
So as you can see, with the break they get two sweeps for a show that would normally only be in one, if they showed all the episodes back to back. Well, they're doing it for that reason, or they really all do wear bike helmets at all times.
Anyway, the holiday has me running a little late on this week's recap, but I'll get it up as quick as I can. Here's hoping everyone out there has a happy Thanksgiving, and thanks for stopping by.

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