This week we start out with Berto displaying the treasures he acquired from his $10,000 shopping spree at Popsy's boutique. Oops, make that $5,000, since he was the good guy and split his prize with Elephant Man Vinci.

Berto has his shirt off, which I am appreciating, and some new tight jeans on that are looking pretty nice. He pulls his old jeans out of a bag saying, "The old Berto, $25 jeans." I have to say that Berto is my favorite chico at this point, but maybe he better not be so quick to let go of those $25 dollar pair of jeans. After all, winning one challenge, does not a telenovela start make. Then, Berto pulls out a large purse that he got for his mother and I'm impressed. Not only is it an awesome purse, but he actually remembered his mother. If he hadn't already shown himself to be a major man-ho, albeit an honest one, I'd be thinking that his girlfriend back in Jersey has got it made in a shade. Of course, we didn't see any gifts for her out of his haul, but that could be because Vinci, never one to be a wallflower, jumps in to show off his prizes, including the most expensive t-shirt in the place. You know that Vinci is the guy that insists on ordering the most expensive item on the menu whenever he goes out and then has all of his credit cards declined. Berto's a little pissy about Vinci stealing the limelight and tells the camera that Vinci is the kind of guy that wants his cake and wants to eat it to.

But, this week, we don't have much time for opening festivities. Our mysterious narrator voice informs us that we are down to ten Latin beauties. And then, Uncle Walty is back in the same tired green muumuu, wiggling his fingers as he explains that this week's deadly sin is vanity. An opportune moment for a group of young beauties who've probably done more than their share of Hail Mary's for this particular sin.

Before we know it, our house diva Maria Conchita Alonzo joins us looking alluring in a pretty blue dress that basically leaves nothing but her nipples to the imagination. And more power to her, her breasts are looking mighty perky for a woman of her age.

When you get older they fall, so just lower your dresses

Maria Conchita tells us that she got her start in beauty pageants, going on to become Miss Venezuela. Then she tells the contestants that vanity is a funny thing. As a telenovela start, they will need to look gorgeous, but that is not the only thing that they'll need. And then, because she doesn't have enough of a top, she pulls a death card from the waistband of her dress and tells the contestants this week's twist. The contestants are going to compete in the very first ever Viva Hollywood Beauty Pageant. Sadly, the chico that loses the challenge will be going home immediately without a duel. What no duel this week? No Masacre de Mascara? I have to admit that I'm a little grumpy about this.

I used to have cleavage to hold my spare bills, now I just have belly folds

Then, Maria Conchita introduces pageant bitch and diva extraordinaire Scott Grossman. For those of you who remember Miss Congeniality, you'll recognize Scott Grossman as the man who played the pageant bitch/coach in the movie. Basically, he's the same character in real life. I believe that's called type casting.

There can only be one true queen

Enrique, bless his little heart, is all excited about the big world of pageants and Scott Grossman. And he knows a surprising amount about the pageant world. Or at least, surprising to me, since I know absolutely nothing about beauty pageants. I'm thinking that Enrique may have a had a few crushed dreams when he realized that he wouldn't be able to compete alongside the other girls in his country.

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Posted in Viva Hollywood! by YentaPatrol at 1:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: hollabackboy on Apr 30, 2008 02:01 PM.