Testimonials

Gisel is planning on singing America the Beautiful, but she's not exactly belting it out like a Latina Aretha Franklin. Scott Grossman keeps telling her "slower, slower, slower" and each time Gisel gets a little stiffer. Singing might not have been the best choice for Gisel. Maybe she could have jumped on the fitness train and gone with running in place.

The chicos gather for a little dinner and drama, and Gisel has a small breakdown that her song sucks and she'll have to leave the house. But Berto's not having much sympathy, telling the camera that the "crybaby of the house blond" is in tears over her song. Which is a pretty long way for him to have come since, Gisel was the hot chick in the first episode that he was playing 'squeeze the tamale' with.

Then Vinci decides to embark on a strategy of psychological warfare and provides the catalyst for a pretty big argument revolving around whether he was able to change his scene last time and whether people should change their challenges this time. And, of course, if Kalain in particular should change his challenge. Kalain gets upset, which since he is able to understand what Vinci is saying, must mean that his English is improving. Just in case we can't understand Kalain, the editors provide us with a clip of Enrique explaining that Kalain felt like he was being attacked and betrayed. It's almost like Kalain's English finally improved enough to realize what was really going down in the house and Kalain is all like, "I don't need this, I'm out of here."

As Kalain packs, little Enrique, who has decided to wear a knit hat in an attempt to look like a Mountain Dew commercial, runs to the other women and asks them to intervene.

I'm telling you. I could so do the Dew

With the exception of Roseny, who stayed behind muttering to herself, the women run out as a group to try and stop Kalain from leaving. Interspersed in all the drama, are clips of Vinci gloating at his success in driving Kalain away. This all begs the next question, where the f**k is Kalain going to go? Are they keeping a limo on call outside the gates for the contestants that decide to jump ship or is he just going to walk off into the night and curl up under some potted plants when he gets tired? Kalain tells the weeping women that the show is more of a mental game and he has already played it and that he never does wrong and his heart is pure. I'm beginning to think that Kalain watched a few too many heroic coming of age movies and took them to heart. I've known other 20-year-old boys like that, they're almost always cute and determined to deprive themselves in the name of some sort of higher calling, before they self destruct over some idealized female and usually end up with a stint in rehab.

Silvia, possibly on course to become Kalain's idealized female, has realized that Kalain is packed and standing in the driveway about to start out on his quest to walk the earth, you know, like Kane. Silvia sobs that she respects and cares for Kalain more than anyone else in the house and not surprisingly he says he feels the same way. After all, they did share the lust challenge and nothing supports those tender feelings of respect and caring quite so much as a telenovela moment of lust. So, Kalain and Silvia sit down to chat on the curb.

Meanwhile, inside the house, the chicas are taking turns yelling at Vinci and Jenn is pretty pissed. I've got to say that I'd have no problem slapping down a couple of hundred dollar bills to back Jenn in a fight with Vinci. But, sadly, Jenn decides not to jack him up by his elephant undies and storms off to rehearse her hip-hop dance. However, the stress catches up with Jenn and the next thing we know she's heading to the porcelain throne like a horse to its stable. And then we get the barf shots that are a requirement for every VH1 reality show. I have to say that her roomies are being pretty sweet and they hold her hair back for her. I can tell you, I used to have really long hair and nothing sucks like getting flying chunks caught in it. Then Berto, still my favorite, carries Jenn to her bed to rest and he actually refrains from climbing in with her. So, we know he's got a little more class than a lot of the man-hos featured on VH1.

The moment I fell a little in love with Berto

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Posted in Viva Hollywood! by YentaPatrol at 1:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: hollabackboy on Apr 30, 2008 02:01 PM.