Hola Chicos;
This week it's all about scandal, those bitchy revelations that spice up our lives and provide the lifeblood of the Internet. We're down to four contestants and we've got the Queen Bitch of them all, Perez Hilton, to help cut them down to three.
Bitches, you are going to love me!!
We open up with the remaining contestants wandering around the house repeating, "Wow, four?" "Just four?" "Only four left?" Sort of like the end of the horror movie, when the heroes finally notice that all of their friends have died off.
Berto goes into a lengthy justification of why he voted for Jenn, explaining that it was just strategy and then goes to weasel apologize to her. Jenn actually accepts Berto's apology really nicely and I'm pleasantly impressed. When Jenn's not in one of her psychotic rages, she's really sweet. Jenn and Berto hug and cry. Jenn tells us that she's cool with Berto, but she's over Gisel.
Berto is still whimpering with remorse when he returns to his room and, of course, Gisel the psycho stalker is waiting for him, because, for Gisel, home is where Berto's bed is. But Gisel isn't having any of this wimpy, sniveling, regret from Berto. After all, by sending Jenn to the duel, Berto probably saved Gisel's picture perfect ass and he should be ecstatic, I tell you, f**king ecstatic that she's still in the house stalking him in an up close and personal fashion. In Gisel's narcissistic world, Berto's feelings of regret are nothing less than one major ass betrayal and she's not going to sit around in her tasteful, sequin enhanced, dress and take it. Instead, she's going to march her ass out of the room and bitch to her new BFF, Geovannie.
Geovannie is sporting a new haircut, that I have mixed feelings about. It's very Leonardo di Caprio. And he's wearing a high fashion hoody that's a shout out to flower power. Gisel spews hate induced psycho-babble wavering between tears and anger as she demands, "Why is everybody so two-faced?" Geovannie demonstrating surprising good sense and, using gentler words than I would have chosen, basically tells her to shut the f**k up, get over herself, and play the game. Geovannie is like the new Dr. Phil because that short little talk was so insightful that Gisel saw the error of her ways. In an alarmingly pathological mood swing, she tells the camera that she is now all over taking things personally and is ready to just do what she has to do to play the game. That being said, Gisel decides that what she really needs to do is to go to patch things up with Jenn. Of course, they cry and hug and now everybody loves each other. It's one big Latino free love friggin flower power fest. But, I have to confess that I strongly suspect that Gisel realized that Geovannie was losing patience with her and decided that she needed to fix her alliance with Jenn.
A cameraman's girl-on-girl prison fantasy.
Jenn being a smart cookie patches things up with Gisel. She tells us that she doesn't need the stress in the house and it is what it is.
The next morning the chicos are seated at the table when Carlos joins them, commenting that last night was quite the love fest. Everybody grins and I'm wondering if there's some unpublished footage floating around somewhere. Then, Uncle Walty reveals that the seventh sin is scandal while our disembodied narrator intones, "you can rise like a phoenix from the ashes of controversy and leave your competition in the dust."
Carlos sends the chicos down the hall in search of Maria Conchita. Instead of knocking, the chicos simply march into the room and freeze, their mouths collectively dropping.
On the count of three, say aw.
The camera then pans to reveal a bare-chested Alexcy reclining on a couch with Maria Conchita sitting across his lap and smooching with him. It's nice to know that Alexcy has been pursuing gainful employment since he was eliminated from the show and its so kind of Maria Conchita to have given him a helping hand.
Berto says he was shocked just shocked and that Alexcy is a lucky bastard. Gisel says that it was like walking in on her parents, which you know Maria Conchita isn't going to like. MILFdom aside, Maria Conchita is not going to appreciate the reference to her age.
Can someone call 911? I think my leg's stuck.
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