Here we are on the second to last sin and down to five contestants, and I've had plenty of time to ponder my fate as a lonely recapper destined to sit up nights watching the manifestation of some random producer's giant lapse in judgment. Why, oh why, I wonder, doesn't Viva Hollywood have the panache and verve of Project Runway, Top Chef, or dare I say it, American Idol? I mean it's got the challenges, it's got the judges, and it's got the contestants. Oh, right, the contestants. The thing that really sets this show apart from other competition based reality TV shows, featuring talents other than whoring or swinging on a stripper pole, is the contestant pool. While the winners of Top Chef or Project Runway may not go on to lives of glory, fame and success, there are always a few seductive moments when we fool ourselves into thinking that they could. I have to say that none of the remaining five contestants seems fated for stardom, maybe commercials or some regional theatre and I'm thinking that Geovannie could possibly go for the porn thing, but that's about it. Still, the show is warm, comforting and familiar at this point and I kind of look forward to it in a perverse sort of way. So, (cue dramatic music) late at night, alone in her living room, a lonely recapper pours out another shot of tequila and starts to type...

As usual, we join the chicos at dinner after the epic duel between Enrique and Geovannie. Geovannie is giddy to have survived the duel and is appreciating a little bit of breathing room. Berto, the classy guy that he is, congratulates Geovannie on winning and everybody toasts. It's almost like none of these contestants were on the balcony jeering and motioning for Geovannie to die just an hour or so beforehand.

About that death wish, we're over it now.

Out of the five chicos left, I'm counting three psychotic woman: Roseny the ice princess, Gisel the psycho stalker and Jenn currently auditioning for season three of the Bad Girls Club (actually, I made that last bit up, but I'd bet good money that Jenn would be ruling the house in a week if she did go on the show). Anyway, you know that these three girls are going to have some drama. I mean an hour before they were vowing that they were going to get rid of Geovannie. So, even though they're making nice nice over their meal, I guessing someone's either going to stab him or throw a drink in his direction. But, I'm psychically challenged and nothing sensible like that occurs. Instead, the girl's alliance implodes over a tub of ice cream.

The only thing I can figure out is that these women are all PMSing at the same time. And let me tell you, if you're male and reading this, hormones that cycle in tandem are a plague on friendships. Not a whole lot else can explain the drama that breaks out when Gisel goes to get the ice cream and then announces that she doesn't like the taste of that brand of ice cream. Holy sh*t, I can't even follow the gist of it. Jenn starts giving Gisel a hard time about always complaining. Gisel gets upset that they're being personal. And then, the next thing you know, Gisel storms off in tears to pack her bags before moving to another room. I mean WTF? With these major life skills, you've got to wonder how the hell Gisel is going to cope if the IRS ever audits her. She is so going to be screwed when that auditor shows up. But the major question in my mind is whose room did she move into? Berto's or Geovannie's?

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Posted in Viva Hollywood! by YentaPatrol at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: MichyPR on May 25, 2008 12:41 AM.