Oh my god! Fresh off his stint selling advertising in Atlanta, former ECW-announcer Joey Styles is in the booth tonight. I hope he gets to announce a Hardcore match. Oh my god! And I hope they get him a phonebook to sit on too, because next to King and Coach, he looks just like Little Lord Fauntleroy.
The show kicks off with all the wrestlers standing outside the ring. General manager Eric Bischoff's music hits, and he comes down to the ring dressed as an undertaker. Not The Undertaker, mind you, but an undertaker. Who died? Oh yeah, RAW's creativity.
Bischoff is here to talk about the upcoming Survivor Series PPV. He's already made the following matches: John Cena versus Kurt Angle for the Championship and Ric Flair versus Triple H in a Last Man Standing match. There will also be a 10-man match pitting five of RAW's superstars versus five of SmackDown's. Representing RAW will be the new Tag Team champs, Big Show and Kane, along with the captain of Team RAW, HBK. Bisch asks the remaining superstars who's going to step up and take one for join the team...
Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble. We accept you, we accept you.
Carlito gets his hand up first, so Bisch gives him the microphone. Carlito really, really wants to be on Team RAW. So much so he'll even give up the Cabana! (That's not cool.) "Dammit
Since Team RAW is still without a bonafide backwoods rapist, Bischoff hands the microphone to Murdoch. He says he and Cade were screwed at Taboo Tuesday, and they should be on Team RAW instead of Big Show and Kane. "We're better than either one of those freaks," he says, adding, "I only rape hunters. Kane raped a dead cheerleader." Ha ha, charade you are, Mr. Murdoch. Murdoch wants to "reinvokasize" their rematch clause, and demands a Hardcore match with the new champs. Kane and Big Show are laughing at this. Cade isn't. Still, as Joey Styles points out, using weapons is the only chance Cade and Murdoch have at winning this match.
Gregory "Don't Call Me Hurricane" Helms also wants to be on Team RAW. Not only that, he wants a match with the person who's been holding him back for two years, "that fat piece of garbage over there, Rosie O'Donnell." Of course, he's really talking about just plain Rosey, but my idea would be so much more fun to recap.
Before sending everyone backstage, Bischoff turns his attention to Edge and Lita. Turns out Eric is tad upset with Edge's actions on Taboo Tuesday, when he said the following: "I don't care about you, I don't care about RAW, and I certainly don't care about what you people want or voted for. I do care about one thing though, and that's me!" Not surprisingly, he didn't mention his inability to make Lita orgasm, but that's more a matter of her still being on a heavy regimen of hormone replacement therapy than anything he's doing wrong. Still, he should at least act like he cares.
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Comments (9)
Joey Styles is going to save the RAW Booth. Shelton Benjamin needs a PUSH!!!!!! Angle is a decent bad guy....but I think we need CENA to turn Heel, that might spark some creativity.
I can live with Styles over JR.
1 of 9 | Posted by EddieD | Posted on November 8, 2005 7:31 PM
What is the deal with HHH. All he does is spit water. Why are we supposed to be intimidated? He's awful.
2 of 9 | Posted by J-Unit | Posted on November 8, 2005 8:02 PM
ah. john cena going heel is a good idea. he has been too nice for too long. and about HHH, that facial hair is awful and needs to go. i would be the most excited if dx made a come back but, thats just me.
3 of 9 | Posted by Nicky | Posted on November 8, 2005 8:04 PM
styles might work out well. providing vince gives him an honest chance.
triple h is just horrible anymore. plus he has too many nicknames.
shelton definitely needs a push. this time last year he was fighting triple h and getting a huge pop. now he's...
maybe he should go against cena, who should've turned heel months ago.
4 of 9 | Posted by copygodd | Posted on November 9, 2005 8:10 AM
Raw has sucked ever since I got let go. I was the best thing they had goinglove me or hateme. Praise Allah!
5 of 9 | Posted by Musamad Hasaan | Posted on November 9, 2005 8:27 AM
u shouldnt b checkin out raw u should be checkin out my site www.whimikejones.com or hit me up 281 330 8004
peace
6 of 9 | Posted by mike jones | Posted on November 9, 2005 10:04 AM
Mullethead is a disgrace to grandfathers all over the world. pick up my album in stores now.
7 of 9 | Posted by Who? Mike Jones | Posted on November 9, 2005 1:09 PM
Shelton Benjamin already had a push. He held that IC title for quite a long time so don't tell me he hasn't gotten a push yet. Raw needs to get rid of Cena as the world champ and give it to either Angle or HHH. Cena is boring and annoying and finally people are starting to boo him as much as he deserves. Finally people are realizing what a horrible wrestler/character John Cena is. He's a terrible wrestler and even worse rapper.
Like him or not, Triple H IS the best wrestler right now and arguably of all time. It's a shame they have to use him to put over the likes of Batista and Randy Orton. And the whole thing with Flair is cuz they couldn't fit him into the world title storyline in time and Flair was the best choice for H to feud with until there is an opening in the world title storyline.
And Angle, probably the best technical wrestler right now. Angle is an awesome wrestler, his mic skills are good, he gets the crowd going, he's a good heel. They need to give him a push and let him win the world title again.
8 of 9 | Posted by Oh its true, Its True | Posted on November 9, 2005 6:48 PM
no argument about angle. he's always been one of my favorites. i liked him better as a face, but this turn as a heel is really great too.
cena needs to go heel. or at least back to the character he was when he first joined the wwe. back then, he wasn't a face or a heel. he talked smack about everyone, and was a lot more fun to watch.
and you're right; shelton did get a big push. and he was getting huge pops at the live shows. i don't know why they backed off him, but they should get him away from chavo and back into some bigger matches. he had a good thing with hhh during his push; i'd love to see that again.
9 of 9 | Posted by copygodd | Posted on November 9, 2005 10:00 PM