After winning the Intercontinental Title from Carlito, The Game says Flair was "reveling in his newfound mediocrity." And while the audience cheered Ric, HHH cried. Because it broke his heart to see what Flair had become. So he did the only thing he could do, the one thing no one else had the guts to do: he took the horse out behind the barn and shot him. It was a mercy killing. HHH didn't want anyone else to tarnish his memories of Flair. "Face facts, Ric," he tells the camera. "You're no longer the dirtiest player in the game. You're not even in the game anymore. Ric, look into my eyes, because for you, the game is over." OMG!! I think HHH just broke up with Flair! On national TV!
3) Trish Stratus pins Victoria Right out of the gate, King is all happy about how well Trish packs her trunks. Victoria, meanwhile, is wearing Rob Conway's see-through shorts. Looks like she has a bigger package, too. Funny how steroids work that way. Despite taking a real beating, Trish manages to win. As she celebrates her victory, however, she's attacked by Victoria. Ashley runs out to help Trish, and gets beat up in the process. But before you can say "G's up, Ho's down" some random girl rushes the ring and saves both Trish and Ashley, beating up Vics something good in the process. Trish and Ashley have no idea who their mysterious benefactor is. My money's on Mark Cuban.
Backstage, the mystery girl approaches Trish and Ashley. Turns out she's Mickey James, RAW's newest diva and Trish's biggest fan. I smell stalker! Or maybe it's just my dog's ass. Sometimes it's hard to tell.
4) Kurt Angle, Edge and Carlito defeat John Cena, HBK and the Big Show While six-man tag matches can be fun to watch, the build-up is excruciating. Counting music intros and commercial breaks, it takes over seven minutes from the time Carlito enters the ring until the match officially gets under way. Overall, it's a pretty good match; the highlight of the evening, by far. After each of the wrestlers get a chance to do their signature moves (except Carlito, who appears to be sans apple), Angle pins Cena.
Finally, it's time for the Boardroom Ceremony. And thank goodness, because up to now, tonight's ep has been more boringer than an episode of Martha's Apprentice. Understandably, McMahon is upset about his entire family getting Stunned by Stone Cold last week. After all, Stunning is a $400 BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY! And by golly, someone's going to pay. But just who should Vinnie K blame? He has to blame someone, because "we Americans love to play the blame game." Whatever. So, is Eric Bischoff to blame? While it happened on Eric's watch, Vince doesn't blame him. Stone Cold? While he actually delivered the Stunners, he won't blame him. Or fire him. Yet. No, McMahon says he ultimately blames the fans for his family getting Stunned, because our behavior only encourages Stone Cold. So Vince wants everyone in the arena, everyone watching, everyone in the whole world, to consider themselves employees of the WWE. So he can fire us. Yawn.
Vince has to pee.
Vince tells us there are three more people who deserve some blame. At that, he calls Coach, King and good ol JR down to the ring. Last week, while he, his son, his daughter and his wife got Stunned, these three did nothing. And so, Vince wants an apology. If they won't apologize, they're fired.
Fortunately for Coach, he's wearing dark trousers, which makes it harder to see the growing urine stain in his crotch. "I am so sorry I didn't help," he tells Vince. "I can admit it: I'm a coward. I wish I were as brave as you are, Mr. McMahon. And I thank god you're okay." Vince accepts his apology and sends him back to the table.
Next up, it's King's turn. He simply says if apologizing will save his job, he's sorry. Vince lets him off the hook.
JR's the only one left. As Vince reminds us, JR is Stone Cold's best friend. So what does he have to say about his best friend's actions? "I'm sorry your wife got Stunned." That's not good enough for Vince, who brings Stephanie to the ring for an apology of her own. JR tells her he's sorry her mom got Stunned. For his troubles, Stephanie slaps him. With her balls. Time for Shane to come down and get his apology. But instead of Shane's music, we get Linda's.
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Comments (13)
You just have to admire the business acumen of Vince McMahon. I mean, he's the only executive able to pull the good cop/bad cop routine playing both parts himself. He'll never be able to be sued for sexual harassment because he can pull out all the video of "Mr. McMahon" shoving his tongue down the WWE divas' throats and say, "My accuser is obviously confusing me with the 'character' I play on TV." Same deal with J.R., who apparently is actually getting canned in real life under ugly circumstances. Again, just stage a "firing" on TV and make it look like it's all part of the show. The man's an evil genius.
Or I'm a big-time mark. I rule out neither.
1 of 13 | Posted by Mike | Posted on October 11, 2005 12:09 PM
I thought Cabana segment was great. In situations like that with lots of guys in the ring like that you see them break character. Its funny how the camera always seems to catch it too. Like Big Show laughin and Carlito and HBK cracking smiles.
Linda McMahon's heel turn was pretty funny.
But now some questions...
Why is Shelton Benjamin not getting a push!? Hes stuck in that stupid Kerwin White angle, and it doesn't even get play every week!! And why do we get so few matches now a days with the same 10-12 guys involved?
Why
2 of 13 | Posted by Eddie D | Posted on October 11, 2005 12:59 PM
Vince has to pee!
3 of 13 | Posted by Jess | Posted on October 11, 2005 2:04 PM
i vote evil genius.
the cabana bit was fun. especially when big show started giggling at c-nah.
as for shelton, he's getting a raw deal. (no pun intended.) i don't know why he's stuck in that stupid racist storyline. he needs to get a bigger push. his match a few weeks back with angle was great.
4 of 13 | Posted by copygodd | Posted on October 11, 2005 4:41 PM
Holy Crap, is JR getting canned for real this time? If so that sucks cuz he is the best announcer of the 3. As for linda going heel she has been before so no surprise here.
I agree with Eddie D I don't get what they are doing with the characters they have on RAW right now... And when the hell is RVD coming back. We need a little excitement back in the show.
I've seen a bunch of old RAW superstars now on TNA. If WWE isn't careful TNA is gonna put them right back in the war Vince bought his way out of a few years back. TNA is pretty interesting and some pretty creative matches.
5 of 13 | Posted by norsegod | Posted on October 11, 2005 8:30 PM
copygodd - I haven't watched pro-wrestling in a long time, but I do remember that Steph had her fake rack since before she left for an extended time.
Is it just me or is there no reason to care about WWE anymore.... if there ever was a reason.
6 of 13 | Posted by realiTV fan | Posted on October 12, 2005 7:03 AM
i remember she had a boob job before she left, because jericho called her out on it on the jerichotron 2000. but i swear they've gotten even bigger since then.
i'm starting to think there isn't a reason to care anymore either. when i started writing these recaps, i was excited cuz it gave me an excuse to watch that the wife couldn't argue with. now i'm starting to think maybe she's right. this week's show only had four matches. and only one of them was worth watching. barely, at that. still, i'm on assigment, so what can i do...
7 of 13 | Posted by copygodd | Posted on October 12, 2005 8:13 AM
Linda McMahon sacked J.R funny. her leg was stiff or something.
im gonna miss J.R. he was the best announcer man thing.
8 of 13 | Posted by ashleyishot | Posted on October 14, 2005 10:36 AM
i look up to you linda you have expired me you wonderful talented when you kids or husband do something that would up set the fan you come out and i know it mean busines you went way out of line fireing jim ross and now you have came a coniving woman i'm just shock and the machmon family was a wonderful family until vince and that attitude stephanie anger and shane is still cool but Linda you are going to get what's coming to you it might be next week
9 of 13 | Posted by Juante Bowden | Posted on October 20, 2005 10:00 AM
I love to hang out with Jhon Cena for a day that has always been my dream to do that be there right beside hime do thing with and have fun with him that my wish and Linda i'm shock what you did to J.R you was the gratest woman on wwe you and stephanie until yall just got out of control
10 of 13 | Posted by Juante Flowers | Posted on October 20, 2005 10:10 AM
I think Vince should kiss JR's Ass. The McMahon's need to all suck on Stephine's BIG Balls! Mickey James has big ta-tas. Trish, Ashley, and Mickey James make a hot group.So do Candice and Torrie too, NOT Victoria she the uglyest Bitch I've ever seen.
11 of 13 | Posted by Manuel | Posted on October 21, 2005 2:59 PM
vince mcmann is a fat fuckin shit with a tiny pecker
12 of 13 | Posted by bob | Posted on October 25, 2005 8:31 AM
jr is better than the mcmann family and wtf was coach doin "oh dont touch her stone cold"
coach is such a looser
mcmanns r gay little fat fucks with no balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13 of 13 | Posted by timmy | Posted on October 25, 2005 8:35 AM