Bischy says he wants every contracted wrestler to join him in the ring. Right. This. Second. He wants to give them all a piece of his mind. Hopefully, not too big a piece, of course, because his family already has one "special" member in the very special Eugene.

Last night at Survivor Series, the RAW roster let Eric down. And that is unacceptable. "Failures will not be tolerated," he says, as he waits for the wrestlers to make their way down to the ring. When nobody shows, he demands to know if there's some kind of audio problem. Coach, of course, can't understand why the wrestlers aren't lining up in the middle of the ring to fellate the Bisch. "Why would anyone want to make him any madder?" he asks. Because nothing makes Eric madder than not being fellated on basic cable.

It's pretty obvious that none of the wrestlers are coming down to the ring. Easy E's down with that, and says he's heading backstage. And he's going to fire the first person he sees. What do you think the chances of that happening are? If you guessed "No Chance In Hell," give yourself a kewpie doll. Because before Eric can get out of the ring, Mr. McMahon's music hits. Uh-oh, Eric's in trouble now. Vinnie McStrutsalot makes his way down to the ring and asks Eric if he's going to fire him. I'm guessing no.

VKM tells Eric he let him down last night. "You had three goals," Mr. McMahon says. "And none of them were met." In Vin's eyes, that makes Eric a failure. After all, perception is reality. Problem is, if the fans perceive Bisch to be a failure, they'll perceive RAW to be a failure. And if they perceive RAW to be a failure, they'll perceive Mr. McMahon to be a failure. And of course, if there's one thing Vincent K. McMahon most definitely is not, it's a failure. Well, unless you count the XFL, of course.