After the commercial, Bischoff is on the phone (again!) when he's interrupted by Shane, who wants to know if Bischoff thinks he'll meet his goal tonight. He also wants to know if it made Bisch feel like a man to put Maria in a match against Kurt Angle. Eric doesn't answer directly, instead telling Shane he's just a "card-carrying member of the Lucky Sperm club." Coach asks how he can join. Shane didn't like that, though, and slams Eric against the wall, yelling: "Don't you ever disrespect me, my sperm, my family's sperm or my family's business ever again! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch my Dad pull something out of JR's ass."

Daivari is putting the moves on Kurt in the locker room as they discuss strategy for tonight's match. (Since when did Daivari learn to speak English?) As soon as he locks in the Ankle Lock, Kurt tells him, Daivari should ring the bell. Chris Masters comes in during the middle of their strategy session and is not very happy with the plan. "When Daivari screws Cena, Daivari screws me," he tells them. Coach asks if he can join in. Because of that, young Mr. Masterpiece just went to the top of the ladder and asked Mr. McMahon for his own special referee for his first Championship match. So pop a squat, Daivari. Looks like you'll have time to plan that jihad after all.

omurdoch112805.jpg
My first real screen grab and it's Murdoch's "O" face.

(4) Shelton Benjamin vs Trevor Murdoch Poor Shelton Benjamin. No sooner does his feud with the racist Kirwin White end than he's stuck fighting the Deliverance Rapist. What's a brother have to do to get some respect in the WWE? Evidently, he has to job to a buttmunch like Murdoch, who grabs Benjamin's trunks for a little extra leverage in picking up the victory. Wait, that didn't get Shelton any respect at all. The best part of this match is King's commentary: "Trevor Murdoch is the product of a conjugal visit. And he looks like his neck threw-up." Classic King.

Winner: Trevor Murdoch via Pinfall

Triple H is shown walking to the ring as we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, HHH is still walking to the ring. Boy, is he slow. When he finally gets there, he starts talking about what a humanitarian he is. After he destroyed Ric Flair last night, he made sure Ric was sent to the finest hospital in Detroit. It just happened to be located in Cleveland. He even got Flair a plasma TV in his room so he could watch RAW tonight. Then he blathers on for a while about how Flair should just stay down and accept his fate and… I'm sorry, I dozed off there for a minute. Is Triple H still talking? Of course he is. showhunter112805.jpgThank goodness the Big Show's music kicks in. Show gets in Hunter's face and called him a piece of doodoo. He'd be happy to take on HHH in a fight right now. He doesn’t need a sledgehammer. He can beat Triple H with his own bare hands. Suddenly, Triple H is speechless. Primarily because Big Show knocked his microphone away, but still, it's a start. The Game makes a hasty retreat backstage to the waiting bosom of Stephanie McSilicone.

When we get back from commercial, the next match is already going.

(5) Big Show and Kane vs Snitsky and Tyson Tomko in a Tag Team Title Match Not much to say about this one. Other than I hope the part we didn't get to see was better than the part we did. But I doubt it.

Winner: Big Show and Kane via Pinfall.

After one final commercial break, it's time for tonight's main event: Eric Bischoff's all-important Goal Match. If Cena wins, Bischoff loses his job. We know it's an important match, because Coach actually talks through Chris Masters' intro instead of pounding one off.

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Comments (9)

RD:

Great review, CG.

STF... WTF??

Weak ending. It would have been much more badass for Cena to get the "submission" by repeatedly bashing Masters with the chair to the point of unconsciousness.

Would've also been a good precursor to his inevitable heel turn.

thanks.

i have no idea what the stf is. it would've made more sense if it were the stfu...

cena's gotta turn heel soon. i'm hoping that's what his 'lil show of aggression was all about last night.

Mike:

The STF is a Stepover Toehold Facelock. It originated in Japan and is fairly new as far as pro-wrestling finishing moves are concerned. Back in WCW, when Erik Watts (son of then-booker/WCW head honcho Cowboy Bill Watts) was using the STF as his finisher during his extremely unpopular "rookie superstar" push, the joke was that it stood for Success Through Father.

makes sense.

thanks for the info.

jess:

Love the captions!

"cool."

RealityTV4Me:

Uh, I beg to differ. Columbus is further away than "just down I-71 a bit." (142 miles to be exact.) And in Ohio, that's half the length of the state. It is worlds apart from skanky Cleveland. Get it right next time copygodd. :-)

ah, it's just a quick two-hour drive, even with a stop for breakfast in mansfield.

and skanky? as compared to cbus? please. even though i was born and raised in columbus (graduated from THE ohio state university), i'm still a clevelander at heart. it's home to my beloved browns. all cbus has is the blue jackets. ugh.

but they're still heads and tails above that cesspool to the south: cincinnati. that place is so trashy we don't even consider it be part of the state. hell, even their airport is in kentucky!

J Unit Author Profile Page:

hell, even their airport is in kentucky

I never did understand why that was the case.

for the same reason they arrested their museum curator.

73