Vince addressed Stone Cold's rumored return. If he showed up, Vince just might have to kick his ass. With his face. Vince then introduced a video retrospective of JR's RAW career. This Hallmark card had all the highlights you'd expect: JR kissing McMahon's bare ass; JR being set on fire by Kane; JR getting beaten and bloodied wearing a variety of OU gear; and, of course, last week's nutshot heard 'round the world.

That out of the way, Vince introduces JR's replacement, none other than Jonathan Coachman. Ugh. Coach's new screen introduces his segment as "The Playa's Club, featuring The Coach." Double ugh. And is he wearing JR's hat? Heresy! In the first of many JRism's Coach uses tonight, he tells us "Business is about to pick up." Because he's the new voice of the people, see. That's odd, because I don't know any people who sound like a racially confused/sexually ambigious sycophant. Well, except Coach, of course.

Backstage, Kurt Angle corners Vince and demands he be made the new Number One contender. In the middle of his plea, a hurricane noise sweeps through the arena. A few seconds later, it's the Hurricane! Jebus, how many people have to be killed before Vince kills this bit? The Hurricane defends JR and disses Coach. At that, Vince tells Angle to "Sic him!", and Angle does just that. Good to see Angle is thinking for himself these days.

(1) Kurt Angle defeats The Hurricane The Hurricane put up a valiant effort, but once Angle locked in the Ankle Lock, it was all over. Isn't this guy supposed to be a superhero? Seems the only superpower he has is getting superjobbed. Meanwhile, Coach's commentary consisted entirely of imitating JR. So much so that I'm going to start calling him JC, as in "Man, I wish someone would kick JC in the nuts." After the match, we got our first shot from the Stone Cold-Cam, set up outside to capture Stone Cold's arrival. Although judging by Austin's performance later in the night, a simple breathalyzer would've been just as effective.