As HBK is celebrating, Ric Flair walks down the ramp. And we go to commercial. Awkward. Flair's in mid-ramble when we come back. He has a big bandage across his forehead, the result of the beating he took at the hands of HHH two weeks ago. The Nature Boy is pissed. He never even says "Woooo!" Instead, he tells us when Hunter decided it was time for Flair to retire, it lit a fire under Flair's ass like there hasn't been since that one time, in band camp, when he and The Four Horsemen had a fart-lighting contest... And even though he's 20 years older than Hunter, he can still drop an elbow on a suit jacket like nobody's business.
No...Wire...Hangers!
After that, things start to get weird. Flair tells us how he's survived a plane crash and being hit by lightning, so he's not afraid of HHH. To prove his point, he starts hitting himself in the forehead, busting his cut wide open again and bleeding all over the place. Yuck. This is really gross. And this is coming from a guy with a zombie-fixation. After asking the crowd, "Are you not entertained?" Rickie McBleedsalot calls out the Game, who ambles down the ramp. Flair wipes the blood from his eyes long enough to grab a baseball bat from under the ring, then chases HHH backstage, who runs away like one of JR's proverbial scalded dogs.
When we come back, we get another shot from the Stone Cold-cam. What happened to Flair and HHH? Also, Carlito won't spit on Maria's face, which makes her cry. But not as much as Carlito cries about his loss to HBK. Why? Because it's Mick Foley's fault he lost. Carlito then challenges Foley to a "Loser Gets a Makeover" Match at Taboo Tuesday.
(4) Victoria, Torrie and Candice defeat Trish, Mickey Stalker and Ashley As expected, this match sucked. On the plus side, the cameraman got up close and personal with Mickey Stalker's vagina.
Finally, the Stone Cold-Cam picks up Stone Cold driving into the arena. And not a moment too soon. Stone Cold promptly drives over every prop that gets in his way, and doesn't stop until he's driven clear to the ring. Austin says he's given ten years of blood, sweat and tears to the WWE. And drank a bunch of beer on top of that. Evidently, all of it right before his promo. "There were good times and bad times," he says, "but I never backed down from anyone in this sumbitchin' company." (Note to self: Use "sumbitchin' " somewhere in the next company newsletter.) And the only one who's been Stone Cold's friend the whole time is Jim Ross. What he saw on his TV last week was totally unacceptable, says Stone Cold, and he's here to beat Vince's ass. "Come on out, Vince" he taunts. "I got 48 beers. I can stand here all night." Unless he has to pee. Wait, too late.
At that, a McMahon comes out, just not the one Stone Cold wants to see. Instead, it's Stephanie, who tells Stone Cold he looks disappointed to see her. "Damn right I'm disappointed," he slurs. "I was gonna beat the hell out of your damn daddy." Next, he asks Stephanie to explain her family's fascination with balls. "Your daddy's always talking about his grapefruits, and last week you said you had bigger balls than any man in the company. Am I about to stun my first transvestite?" Austin may be drunk, but damn he's funny.
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Comments (4)
i All that was missing was Matt Pinfield pimping tonight's guest stars on Farmclub.com.
Genius
1 of 4 | Posted by J-Unit | Posted on October 18, 2005 1:13 PM
Kane winning was too easily predicted. Kane vs Masters would be a good feud. How bout Carlito botching the chokeslam?!?!
Ric Flair is horrid and should be taken off TV! What was up with his speech? He was just making stuff up.
and the balls fall out line by Austin was perfect...best laugh of the night easily.
2 of 4 | Posted by Eddie D | Posted on October 18, 2005 2:42 PM
Another good recap... I love it and the balls falling out comment by Austin was pretty good. The problem I see is that Smackdown actually is becoming the better show. I have been watching the past few weeks and smackdown is kicking RAW's ass easily. More and better matches than RAW. I wish they would get rid of Bisch because he is useless anyway... You know he doesn't have any, none, zero control over any of the matches anymore. He does nothing but stand around and get paid. I think that he is part of the problem... He is just way too boring... You should do a smackdown recap just once to see how they compare...
3 of 4 | Posted by norsegod | Posted on October 20, 2005 12:22 PM
Haha, good ol' JC.
4 of 4 | Posted by WHAT! | Posted on October 26, 2005 11:19 PM