Since it's Halloween, the Coach and Jerry Lawler are wearing costumes: Coach is dressed as Conrad McMasters from Walker: Texas Ranger, while the King is dressed as himself. I don't know which is scarier. Wait a minute, Coach is actually dressed as a Stone Cold redneck. Okay, I still don't know which is scarier, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need another beer.
Starting off tonight's show are general manager Eric Bischoff and Chris Masters. Since he's coming out (ha!) with Bischoff, Masters doesn't get to play his intro music. Which means Coach barely has time to splooge in his cutoffs. Masters issues a special "MasterLock Challenge" for Rey Mysterio, who's accompanied to the ring by SmackDown manager Theodore Long. Masters tells Mysterio he didn't think Rey'd have the guts to show up, then lifts Rey-Rey up onto a chair. Unfortunately, that just puts Mysterio within reach of Masters and his huge head, neither of which were prepared for the assault that followed. Bischoff quickly called for backup. Ready Teddy called for backup, too. Considering Bischoff's backup was Kirwin White, Snitsky, Cade, Murdoch, Edge and Lita, while Theo's was JBL, Christian, Hardcore Holly and Matt Hardy, it's no wonder Bischoff's boys got their collective asses beat. These guys couldn't beat SmackDown's new Peewee Junior Division, let alone five of their top performers. Right-Said-Ted promised more embarrassment tomorrow for RAW at Taboo Tuesday. Hopefully he wasn't referring to a replay of this match.
Does this midget make me look tall?
(1) Kurt Angle defeats Tajiri The Japanese Buzzsaw almost kicked his way to victory, until he tried to lock in the Tarantula, which has to be one of the dumbest moves ever. Evidently Angle agrees, as he reversed the move and locked in the Ankle Lock. Why didn't Tajiri just spit the green mist like all good Japanese wrestlers do? Afterward, Angle talked some smack about Cena, who, of course, bumrushed the ring. Angle wouldn't stay and fight though, and simply walked away, leaving Young EmCena alone again, naturally. Can you believe the heat these two are building for tomorrow night's match at Taboo Tuesday? I'm surprised I haven't spontaneously combusted just recapping it. Wait, no I'm not.
After the break, we get a little banter between Coach and the King. Seems the Coach has given himself an actual red neck for his costume. "Normally, I don't get along with rednecks," he tells Lawler. "But tonight I'm getting along with myself very well," adding, "Especially when Chris Masters came out earlier. I can't wait till Rob Conway comes out later, so I can get along with myself even better. Anyone seen my tissues?"
Next up, a retrospective on the history between former BFFs Triple H and Ric Flair. These guys fight and get back together more often than Ross and Rachel. Only there's less bloodshed. Flair woos his way down the ramp, telling Hunter he's kissed his ass for so long, tomorrow night he's going to kick it. He's also hugged him so long that tomorrow night he's going to mug him. Too bad he didn't say anything about how he's tagged him for so long that tomorrow night he's going to gag him. I'd watch that. Instead, he begged the fans to put him in a cage match with HHH at Taboo Tuesday. I'm surprised he's not bleeding already.
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Comments (5)
Great Review. Vader falling on his ass was the best part of the show...which is sad. Cena needs a heel turn badly. Eugene and Conway are talented in the ring but are stuck in crap gimmicks. Everyone else struggles to some degree with Big Vis but he's buried and then some against Hunter Hearst McMahon? Silly. Overall, I hope this show turns around soon.
Tajiri needs to be traded to Smackdown so he can contend for the lightweight belt cause he's being wasted on Raw.
One bright spot...Joey Styles announced for the PPV tonight. PLEASE, let him be there next Monday...
1 of 5 | Posted by Ant | Posted on November 1, 2005 8:55 PM
heyyyy, that Vader Time guy looks kind of like me...
a fact that I'm not really that pleased about...Time for the Atkins diet.
2 of 5 | Posted by Derek | Posted on November 1, 2005 10:59 PM
Dude... Like I have been saying... TNA has a much better package going now. If you recapped their 1 hour show you would probably get a better recap than the two hours you get on raw. They actually wrestle over there and don't put on quite the craps show we have been getting from WWE lately. TNA Rocks...
3 of 5 | Posted by norsegod | Posted on November 2, 2005 9:01 AM
Thanks for the entertaining recap. I appreciate you sitting through this drivel so I can switch back and forth between this and the football game. And the only team I dislike more than the Steelers is the Ravens - and you know why. FOLEY IS GOD !!!
4 of 5 | Posted by neighbor_steve | Posted on November 2, 2005 9:28 AM
I disagree with a few of your comments, I actually thought Lawler was the only entertaining thing about this show.
5 of 5 | Posted by Sandy Scott | Posted on November 5, 2005 6:56 AM