We're back. Todd Grisham is emoting like he just witnessed the Hindenburg explosion. "Oh, the humanity!" He says Batista wouldn't get on the stretcher, but they took him to a nearby undisclosed medical facility. Suddenly, Easy Eric is in the lot, delivering his own newsflash: "You don't tug on Superman's cape. You don't spit in the wind. You don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger. And you'd don't mess around with RAW. Or me." Oops. Looks like someone punched up the wrong song on Eric's karaoke prompter.
(1) Ric Flair versus The Deliverance Rapist Flair enters the ring wearing Phyllis Diller's burial robe. Murdoch, meanwhile, is wearing Larry the Cable Guy's flannel sleeveless and Ashton's trucker hat. Plus a load of chaw. And red trunks. You know, I really don't like Trevor Murdoch. 
Even the announce team is hating on him tonight. King: "Trevor just won the chewing tobacco spitting contest at his family reunion this past weekend." Coach: "That wasn't tobacco." Lots of styling, lots of profiling, and lots of "Whooo!"-chops from Flair, who wins by grabbing Murdoch's trunks during the pin. Unfortunately, whilst grabbing said trunks we're treated to a full shot of Murdoch's bare white ass. Joey Styles calls the action: "Flair had a handful of trunks." Coach: "And we got an eyeful of something else."
Winner: Ric Flair.
Murdoch is not happy about showing his ass to all of Merry Old England. "Nobody sees me arse!," he screams. "Unless they're under the age of 12!" While Flair's celebrating in the ring, Triple H appears on the TitanTron with a threat for their upcoming Survivor Series match. He also promises to show Flair something later that night. I hope it's not Stephanie's arse.
After the break, we come back to a match in progress. Tajiri is giving someone (I think it's Rob Conway) the Tarantula when JBL storms the ring and tosses both men out of the ring. Taking the mic, JBL calls out Chris Masters. "I demand that knuckle-dragging hair-lipped orangutan Chris Masters come down and get his ass kicked by the Wrestling God!" Judging from the way JBL looks in trunks these days, God's really let himself go.
Of course, Bischoff isn't about to let some SmackDown trash take over his show. "I thought we took all the garbage out," he tells JBL from the safety of the ramp. The crowd starts chanting "Arsehole, arsehole!" at Eric. It's really quite touching, in a Merchant and Ivory sort of way. Eric says nobody comes out on his show and demands a match with one of his superstars unless he's either one of the dumbest men on Earth or one of the bravest. Which do you think he considers JBL to be? Instead of Masters, he grants JBL a match with HBK. JBL is happy with this, or as happy as a man wearing a pink shirt and grey slacks can be.
For some strange reason, Bischoff tells JBL to stop by the concession stand on his way out and have some pizza, some donuts and some fish-n-chips, cuz that match is happening later tonight and he can't wait. I can't wait till my Percocet kicks in and I'm able to understand just what the hell he's talking about.
After the commercial, we get some footage of John Cena's appearance on Mad TV this weekend. And here I didn't think anything would get me to watch SNL again.
Kurt Angle heads to the ring with the "You Suck" chants being censored again. I don't get this whole bleeping thing. It's not funny. Just annoying. Shelton Benjamin makes his way to the ring. The announce team points out that there's no ref. Never fear! Daivari's here! Angle's happy. Shelton, not so much. Daivari is such a waste. If they want to feature a terroristArab-American on RAW, why not sign up Behrooz? At least the crowd could have fun chanting his name.
(2) Kurt Angle versus Shelton Benjamin Although this is a rematch from last week, and there's nothing on the line, I don't care. Honestly, I could watch these guys wrestle every week. They are without a doubt the two best the WWE has. I could do without Daivari as a ref, though. Angle locks in the Ankle Lock, but Shelton reverses it and rolls Angle up. Daivari then rolls Benjamin over and makes a quick count for Angle. 
Winner: Kurt Angle.
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Comments (10)
still no comments? ugh, color me depressed.
hey, how 'bout those weavers? do they suck or what?
1 of 10 | Posted by copygodd
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Posted on November 22, 2005 11:30 PM
Does Shelton Benjamin loose every week?
2 of 10 | Posted by America's Next Top Fan | Posted on November 23, 2005 5:34 AM
Great recap! Hope you feel better now. I'm no fan of bondage, but nice screencap of Trish.
Aside from JBL does anyone deserve their spot less that Cena?
3 of 10 | Posted by Rob | Posted on November 23, 2005 5:55 AM
unfortunately, shelton does lose every week. i don't think he's won a match since he lost his ic title last year.
jbl's a waste. he was so much more fun when he was bradshaw in the apa. and cena needs to turn heel or go home. his character now blows.
4 of 10 | Posted by copygodd
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Posted on November 23, 2005 8:07 AM
is it me or is cena tryin way to hard to be cool? dont get me wrong, ima cena fan but i hate wen he gets all gangsta up... thats not cool. TRish is lookin HOTTER and HOTTER each and everyday i see her on RAW... im thinkin Team Smackdown will win at Survivor Series.. Havent seen Torrie for soooo long... Miss her sooooo much.. Same to Stacy..
5 of 10 | Posted by Lazy | Posted on November 23, 2005 8:46 PM
Heres my pieces:
1. The only good Cena is a Heel Cena
2. Shelton Benjamin needs to start winning
3. We need Muhammed Hassan (although he is pursuing acting, that aint gonna happen)
4. We need a new Womens Champ, that being Melina
5. We need Batista to kick Big Show and Kanes ass once and for all. A Batista Bomb on them wouldn't be all that bad.
6 of 10 | Posted by Kami | Posted on November 23, 2005 9:03 PM
Great recap, as always.
I'm pretty sure the Cena "ham sandwich" bit is akin to calling Angle a pussy. It works better if you use the full "open-faced roast beef sandwich" though.
That bit did die a brutal death, and while I'm no fan of "Rapper's Delight" Cena, this Rock Lite persona he's had since coming to Raw is utterly unwatchable.
The chicks are Raw's only saving grace at this point.
7 of 10 | Posted by Alpha Dog | Posted on November 24, 2005 10:20 AM
Come on, now. The Jets song was NOT written by Sondheim or Robbins. Everyone knows that song is from West Side Story, which was written by Leonard Bernstein. Get with the program, people.
8 of 10 | Posted by youknowwho | Posted on November 25, 2005 5:50 AM
shows what i know about showtunes.
although in my defense, the official westside story website lists music by bernstein, lyrics by sondheim and conception/direction/choreography/ by robbins.
9 of 10 | Posted by copygodd | Posted on November 25, 2005 2:21 PM
Sorry about not commenting, but I'm always reading. With everything going on lately, I was not able to catch RAW on monday. Luckily I had your recap to turn to.
And judging by the recap, I'm lucky I missed it.
10 of 10 | Posted by k@os | Posted on November 26, 2005 1:53 AM