POSTS TAGGED: ack

****Please welcome back our long lost Lost recapper! ACK!! LOVE YOU, GIRL! We open on Memorial Day weekend, 1966. A bunch of privileged assholes, whose shabby office space shows it’s not the bright and shiny Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, decide to throw water bombs at the cast of The Help. This is pre-Occupy Wall Street [...]

Proof that even thin people have muffintop if they’re not careful. What do you get when you cross the crypt keeper with a lesbian lion and add in a dash of Jillian Michaels? No, not Larry King. Our girl Jackie! Jackie Warner! The host and star of the latest Bravo shit-show, Thintervention! Welcome, Gasmii, welcome. [...]

The Final Chapter of the Final Recap of the Final Episode. WHY GOD?

Part II of the epic three part Lost Finale recap!

The TVgasm Lost Finale begins.

Put your trays in the upright and locked position and prepare for The End.

Let’s meet Mama Smokey!

This week on Lost, Hurley has a date with destiny, Michael says “Hi,” Ilana says, “Bye,” Mocke shows Desmond the inside of a well, and Desmond turns into a Hit (and Run) Man.

This week on Lost, Desmond gets microwaved and becomes Widmore’s right hand man, Eloise makes some cryptic comments, Daniel plays the piano, Minkowski goes big pimping, Penny goes for a run, and we have to watch Charlie drown. Again.

This week on Lost, Sun bumps her head, Jin gets tied up, Mocke and Widmore declare war, Desmond sees a mermaid, and Patchy’s vision gets considerably worse.

This week on Lost, Richard has the worst week of his decidedly loooong life, Jacob and Smokey face off, and Hurley does some ghost whispering.

This week on Lost, Sawyer hangs out with Liz Lemon, Kate and Mocke bond over mommy issues, Claire gets bitchslapped, and Detective James Ford gets thrown into some lockers.

This week on Lost, Richard loses his will to live, Ben and Ilana bond, Sun wonders where Jin got to, and Alex gets into Yale.

This week on Lost, Sayid goes on a killing spree in not just one but TWO dimensions, Kate and Claire are reunited and it should technically feel so good but doesn’t at all, and Smokey gathers his army.

This week on Lost, Claire becomes an ax murderer, Hurley runs an errand for Jacob, Jack procreates and also smashes things, and we get another clue about WTF is going on with the numbers.

This week on Lost, Richard freaks out, Smokey and Sawyer go spelunking, Locke gets a new lease on life, and we forgive Darlton for last week’s episode.

This week on Lost, Claire and Kate go on a road trip, Jack learns how to smile, Sawyer learns how to wallow, and Sayid is CLAIMED.

This week on Lost, people we thought were dead are alive, people we thought were alive are kind of dead, Smokey gets homesick, the Losties check out the Temple of Doom, and we finally land at LAX.

With the final season premiering in merely days (wooo!!!!), I thought it would be fun to take a look back at what I consider the 100 greatest lines that have ever been uttered on Lost. I spent weeks, nay, months rewatching every single episode (it’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it) and [...]

In the final installment of Lost this season, we find out what’s in the box, who’s in the foot, and what’s in the hole.

In the first hour of the Season 5 finale, Jacob earns some frequent flyer miles, Juliet learns kung fu, Sayid loses a few quarts of blood, and Ben plays Simon John Locke Says. NOTE: Part 2 of the finale recap will be posted later this week!

This week on Lost, we gear up for the season finale with beach-side exoduses, missions to retrieve explosives, Sawyer all tied up, and the beginnings of Jack’s and Locke’s inevitably huge mistakes.

This week on Lost, Widmore becomes twice the deadbeat dad he already was, Eloise misplaces her maternal instinct in the jungle, some hippies have a shoot-em-up, and Daniel fulfills his destiny.

This week on Lost we get many of our of our favorite D Words: Daddy issues, Dead guys, Dharma Initiative, Drunks, Darth Vader, and Daniel!!

The week on Lost, Widmore tells some dead baby jokes, Locke follows his newly attained internal GPS, Desmond goes SMASH, and Ben goes for a visit in the Temple of Doom.

This week on Lost, Kate attempts some thrilling heroics, Jack accepts his fate, Hurley’s hand disappears, and Ben goes to temple.

This week on Lost, Benry goes pyro, Sawyer attempts to be diplomatic, Sayid does what he does best, and Horace takes it to the next level.

On this week’s Lost, Sawyer lays a smackdown, Sun looks at some old photos, Benry holds the mustard, and the Dharma Initiative leaves us all wondering, “Nama-what?”

On this week’s Lost, Locke tries to convince the Oceanic 6 to come back to The Island, Widmore shows some Tunisian hospitality, and Ben decides he should never take a job working at a suicide hotline.

This week on Lost, Jack gets Sunday-schooled, the Oceanic 6 leave on a jet plane, and Locke gets a new pair of kicks.

This week on Lost, Jin learns French, Sun receives some unsettling news, and Locke gets to make another sacrifice to the Island.

This week on Lost Kate fights to keep custody of Aaron, Sawyer has a Marty McFly moment, we revisit some old friends, and everyone is left wondering: “When will my nose start bleeding!?”

This week on Lost, Desmond goes searching for Mama Faraday, Richard and Locke have a meet-and-greet, Daniel does some sciencing, and Juliet practices her Latin.

*****Please welcome Ack to the family with her kick ass Lost recaps!! For your geek theory fix, join Greybishop and Flipit every Thursday night for the Lost podcast! For instructions on how to join in, click here. Enjoy! The fifth season of Lost kicks off with some mind-bending physics, crazy ninja moves, a few blasts [...]