POSTS TAGGED: amish

Yes, kids, the apocalypse is upon us.  Breaking Amish has returned for a second season.  This also means that TLC doesn’t give a single fuck that everyone is onto their complete lack of any legitimacy in their “reality” programming. This episode is quite boring due to the fact that we’re busy catching up on their [...]

  After such a huge scandal and revelations that the show was a giant pile of bull, TLC has brought back Breaking Amish.  We now have a tag Brave New World to add to that title, which apparently means that they’re just making this show the Jersey Shore for the Amish.  Next year, they’ll head [...]

Last time, on Breaking Amish, everyone dramatically returned to their homes, knowing that they would be shunned (and were already). This week, I was ripped off, because I thought it was the final episode.  Oh noooo, it’s not.  They are going to make us endure a 2-hour finale next week.  We begin with Jeremiah giving [...]

  This week on Breaking Amish, everything is explained in clear, sense-making detail! Hahahahaha!!!  Juuuuuuust kidding!! I may actually be more confused this week than I have been in previous weeks.  This show is like the Benjamin Button of reality TV.  I now know less about these people than I did when watching the premier.   [...]

We come back right where we left off with Kate in the stairwell freaking out to some Hannibal Lecter piano music.  The producers finally tell us that there’s no evidence to support Sabrina’s claims.  That’s nice.  Then why would you ask Kate the questions you asked her last week?  Oh, I guess that it wasn’t [...]

This episode is a trip into reality TV mindf*&^ery.  We begin with Jeremiah jumping all over the chance to spring the top secret envelope of DUI docs on Kate in front of Abe and Rebecca.  He loves that he can prove that Kate is a hypocrite.  When Rebecca asks Kate if you get arrested when [...]

The title of this episode is What is Really Happening?.  Unfortunately, this is a total misnomer as we are no closer to the truth of this series than we were last week. So, due to the scandals of this supposed reality show, I’ve done some research.  We can definitely explain away the language and behavior [...]

I’m going to do my best to pretend that this show is legit and that I haven’t heard that Jeremiah and Sabrina are divorced and Abe and Rebecca have a child together.  By the way, did anyone find out the definition for “napalm” yet?  (Sorry, that RHONJ reunion was NUTS last night!) Rebecca is on [...]

Last week on Breaking Amish, we learned that young Amish adults act like middle school kids and kids that go off on Roomspringa seem to do a great job of picking up our foul language. Rebecca’s grandfather and Abe’s mom show up at the hotel in New York City.  Rebecca spies them on the street [...]

This week on Breaking Amish, the kids jump on a plane and arrive in New York City.  The first to meet up are Sabrina, Rebecca, and Abe who all ride the same airplane.  Sabrina initially feels that she and Rebecca will be friends, because Rebecca is nice to her, but that all will soon change.  [...]

Sorry for the super-delay of getting this recap up.  I jumped the fence myself (bought my first house) and will never do it again.  I’ve been very good and didn’t murder a single person.  Because of that, I am free to watch TV for you.  So, let us begin… Bear with me here, because this [...]