POSTS TAGGED: bachelor

Hey Gasmii! PopePhilly asked me to do the Minicap for our special Three Hour Live Extravaganza Hope You Are All Drunk Enough to Get Through This Historic Bachelor Finale. But she promises she’ll be back with the full recap later this week! Can’t write a finale minicap without some spoilers though, so for the major ones [...]

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Let’s ALL be twins!   Hola Gasmii! Have no fear! We are here…to recap Bachelor Pad… Lame? Sorry. We are going to be honest, guys, we have never watched Bachelor or Bachelorette. At least not more than Joel McHale showed us on The Soup. And we haven’t watched the two other seasons of Bachelor Pad either so we had [...]

This week’s The Bachelor starts off in yet another exotic location… Belize.  I’ve always watched The Bachelor/Bachelorette series and I really don’t remember another season where they jetted around the world this much.  The women arrive by plane and then by boat to another amazing resort location.  They all look pretty good for all of [...]

Monday, February 8th   Courtney doesn’t love you. The Bachelor (8 pm) Ben and the women travel to Panama; a two-on-one date ends with one woman being sent home; Kacie B. opens up to Ben; Chris confronts Casey S. about a secret she has been keeping. Ben continues his graceless journey toward the ultimate dating-show [...]

The Bachelor chooses, yet again, to take Ben and the ladies to another exotic location, Puerto Rico.  I like Ben.  I liked him last season and despite the continual insistence from commenters that Ben is not attractive, I find him charming.  However, ABC clearly thinks we have to jet around the world to make this [...]

Monday, January 30th The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Courtney suggests Ben go skinny dipping with her. And the remaining desperados who didn’t think of it first clutch their pearls and bunch their panties. House (Fox, 8 pm) House threatens Foreman’s relationship with a married woman (Yaya DaCosta). Yaya. Someone named their kid Yaya. I’m not [...]

The Bachelor on tour brings Ben and his ladies to Park City, Utah where Ben will take the girls on outdoorsy dates.  Because these are totally chicks who camp and clean their own fish.  Please, most of these bitches would define “outdoorsy” as not having a wi-fi connection and a blow dryer.  The first date [...]

Monday, January 23 The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Jennifer and Rachel get one-on-one dates; Ben takes eight lucky ladies horseback riding; Ben surprises a bachelorette at the after party; Emily warns Ben about one of the women. Courtney’s fiendish plot to rule the world unaccountably requires the destruction of a greasy-haired young man named Ben… [...]

Monday, Jan. 16 The Rosie Show (OWN, 7 pm) Rehearsal for Rosie’s Theater Kids. Has Oprah got a theater charity yet? Then get me one, fool, before she thinks of it! What’s it spelling? L, I, M, O, R, I, D,E, O, F, S, H, A, M, E. Oh, no! The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) [...]

Monday, Jan. 9 The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Twelve bachelorettes try out for a community theater production written by children. That’s totally meta, considering that the Bachelor’s story arcs are written for children. Antiques Roadshow (PBS, 8 pm) A 1960 first edition copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird”; collection of bronzes; rare 1924 Gibson F-5 [...]

A new season is upon us!

Monday, Jan. 2nd Hold on. Just let me get rid of this bimbo… The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Ben Flajnik returns to the mansion for the season’s first cocktail party; a septuagenarian confesses her love for Ben; a bachelorette shows up at the mansion on a horse. Ben and Levi the horse have been spotted [...]

Just another Bachelor/Bachelorette stat

New Bachelor in town. Or a recycled Bachelorette

Next in line

So shocking

Mini caps of Gossip Girl, The Bachelor, Skins, Hawaii Five-0, and Salon Takeover

Hope and the possibility of love.

Second time’s a charm.

The new Bachelor, and DWTS.

Craig M.’s hair molests some pie, and the house divides.

Island of Misfit Toys for rejected girls and boys.

Look mom, Jake’s a method actor!

Ali finally chooses an hombre!

It’s a delightful douche parade!

My dear friends Benny and Rafi have put out yet another great video: 100 Reality Spoilers in 2 minutes. Enjoy, and Happy Memorial Day!

“I’m so near to fame I can smell it!” Tonight on The Bachelor Matt goes on his hometown dates! For the first time in Bachelor history, we meet a celebrity father. Okay, maybe not really a celebrity, but at least someone who was on the show “Are You Hot?” No, come to think of it, [...]

“Lovely weather we’re having!” This week is a big one on The Bachelor. Matt has to decide which girls he will be joining in their own hometowns to meet their families! There’s really no way of knowing who his favorites are because he’s played tonsil hockey with everyone and thinks they’re all “brilliant.” Maybe a [...]

It’s the “naughty stool” for these two gigglers. Tonight The Bachelor takes a turn for the serious. But before that happens we have a jolly good English group date and a really dreamy 50′s date at a swell diner. Matt continues doling out the kisses, Pouting Robin continues doling out the frowns and Leelee continues [...]