POSTS TAGGED: bravo

Hi again foodie fans! While I was in Las Vegas last week a good friend of mine convinced me and the BF to travel with him to Chinatown there (no, I didn’t know Vegas had a Chinatown, either) and we had lunch at an odd little place that was kind of in the middle of [...]

Hey there everybody! I’m only one day back from Vegas and I miss it already! I can’t tell you what it was like to spend five days in the company of 799 other fat gay men except to say that I felt positively svelte when laying out by the hotel pool and watching some of [...]

I’ve officially started my countdown. Four days from today I will be in gorgeous Las Vegas, Nevada, most likely drunk off my ass and probably hazily wondering where my room key / cell phone / boyfriend / underwear has disappeared to, and that will be just fine with me, because that’s part of what Vegas [...]

Buenos Nachos, my fellow gastric gamblers! That there is a little Spanish that means “Good Doritos”. I just finished the recap for the Finale of Top Chef Masters literally minutes ago and here I am starting another one already. Needless to say I’m a tad punchy, which is the perfect frame of mind to be [...]

Greetings, ‘Gasmii! It’s taken ten weeks, but we’ve finally arrived at the Last Competitionâ„¢! I dunno about you guys, but I think this show was actually fairly successful in showing us a different facet of the whole Top Chef franchise. One without Scar! How is that even possible?… …Well, you start out by making a [...]

Hi everybody! I’m back from L.A., and I had a wonderful time there watching Flipit’s improvisational musical comedy performance as a pregnant teenager in Iowa named Andrea who has a pair of singing lesbian mothers and gets married to a sex-addicted abortion doctor that patronizes prostitutes. No, I’m not even kidding, just ask ChickBomb, she [...]

Hi again, ‘Gasmii. As you may well remember, I was on vacation in Kentucky at a drag queen pageant for about a week, and one of the things that I love about taking vacations is the fact that I can eat whatever I want. Then again, I pretty much eat whatever I want when I’m [...]

Helloooooo ‘Gasmii, it’s so good to be back home again. I’m so sorry about the delay in getting this posted, I’ve spent the last several days surrounded by dozens of drag queens competing with one another to see who can mutilate Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” choreography in the worst possible way and now I fully understand [...]

I have to start out by saying that I wasn’t sure I was going to like this show when Flipit first approached me with the idea of recapping it, because it’s kind of like Top Chef’s your boyfriend, and Top Chef Masters is your boyfriend’s older brother that you accidentally wind up naked in the [...]

Greetings gastrophiles! People who know me in real life know that I love to throw parties and play fun music and have fabulous food that I usually force my BF to cook and serve. He loves it, too. You must ignore him if he tells you differently. As for me, I pretty much stick to [...]

On the new season of Design Star, HGTV gives 11 contestants the chance to win their own television series. Each week the contestants participate in a challenge to determine who is worthy of Doug Wilson-caliber celebrity. The person who is the least telegenic and the most likely to end up designing high school drama club [...]

Hey everybody! I just realized something… I’ve been recapping for TVGasm for an entire year now (my first recap ever was on July 2nd of last year) and I just want to give a big warm and gooey thanks to all of you incredible ‘Gasmii for making me feel so welcome, I absolutely love my [...]

Bienvenue, my fellow cuisine connoisseurs! You know, so far this show has kinda surprised me with it’s almost total lack of outrageously hugantic ginormous egotistical assclowns, and I was beginning to think that I’d be reduced to making lame jokes about bad hair and croggily-wacked teefs on these pros… until tonight. Now, we can change [...]

Welcome to Round Two, my little culinary cohorts! At the risk of revealing something personal, I’m going to go out on a limb and admit that I’m not a fan of leftovers… something that my BF is constantly reminding me of in his patented Long-Suffering-Voiceâ„¢. In fact, for the first 5 years we were together [...]

Well, hello again foodie fans! My name is J-Mo and the last time we were together it was in the barren, frightening, and almost entirely calorie-free zone known as America’s Next Top Model (a.k.a. TyraWorldâ„¢) so I’m sure you can imagine my excitement when Flipit gave me the green light to work on a series [...]

This week, A Tarp guest judges. Not surprisingly, said tarp has more personality than Tyson and all the models combined. Also, when the tarp goes through the film, he finds some excess nails and a sock. Also, this tarp wants to see more variety from Jonathan. Last but not least, the tarp hooks up with [...]

…it’s like Stephen Ambrose nonfiction, only bustier. Exploring exotic western openings since America’s birth Ughhh, you guys, I am in SUCH a bitchy mood, I’m tempted to tell you who got booted in this intro and call this motherf***er a night. God giveth and god taketh away, and motherfu***rs, though I am an unfair, menstruating [...]

REAL life. REAL fashion. REAL people. REAL cheap. Welcome to The Fashion Show! If this picture doesn’t sum up how REAL this all is, I’m at a complete loss.

This week: Salome works on a gut to match her ass Make Me A Supermodel is all about bare-assedness this week… too bad Gabe isn’t here. They do a nude photo shoot to showcase accessories and rock-hard abs, and then the models get back to their usual activity: bitching about each other. Jonathan has money [...]

Gone Country! This week on Make Me a Supermodel, it’s country time lemonade meets angsty modeling mayhem! The kids go to the country and take photos with livestock. Also, a personal trainer comes in to help them shape up, and some deal with it better than others (Jordan Mcbitchalot, I’m talking to you). Also, Colin [...]

Do I see Boobs? This week on MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL, the models do a Mod sixties shoot with partners that they like a lot or don’t like at all. Kerryn’s forhead really shines in this episode, folks, literally and figuratively. The Go-sees prove that not everyone has what it takes, and the catwalk challenge [...]

Mouhaha: Bringing the pretty. This week on Make me a Supermodel, Tyson is gone because he got a modeling gig? Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it. The gals and dudes have a shoot based on who they are, or at least how they look like in front of mirrors. The winners get a [...]

Hotness McHotterstein. This week, it’s all about sports, but not looking retarded while doing them. Yep, it’s gonna be a hard challenge for these models. The shoot consists of the models flying around in the air like rag dolls, and then the catwalk is them in sexy little underwear cages. Mmmm…and, of course, a little [...]

Happy Undergarments Hey YO! Welcome to the world renowned, celebrity-studded recap of Bravo Tv’s MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL! WOHOOO! By world-renowned, I guess I mean in my bedroom and surrounding living spaces. By Celebrity-studded, I mean my cats are chillin with me whilst I write this. So join me, friends lovers and brethren, as I [...]

Dear Gasmii, This week our middle-aged mommas do their best to stay up late and shake their booties for us. I’m giving them an ever-loving ‘A’ for effort, cuz it’s hard to put in a long day of strutting, drinking, eating, bitching, gambling, slutting, and dancing, when you’re used to gently passing out by 9:00 [...]

This week on Top Chef, Ripert is back and he’s hornier than ever. Beaten cross eyed.

Dear Gasmi, Millions and millions of dollars around the world have been spent on researching ways to effectively slow population growth. Yet with relatively little effort Bravo has put the kibosh on biological clocks this week by reintroducing Jeana’s oldest son and reminding us of the down side to parenting. I recommend blowing up the [...]

Dear Gasmii, At long last, the one and only, Original Housewife docuwreck is back!!! And, this time the producers are doing it right. No more of these random non-blond, mail order type cougars for the cast. Nope, with the exception of Jeana, we’re going all blond and plastic. You can bet good money that carpets [...]

Hello everybody! I am soooo super-apologizing for the lateness of this recap, I was in Las Vegas this weekend with my sister and my “little” brother as we celebrated his 30th birthday (and by “celebrated” I mean “got intoxicated” and “ate insanely expensive meals” and “played our favorite people-watching game ‘Real Prostitute Or Just Super-Slutty [...]

My BFF and I attended our high school’s 20-year reunion this past weekend (Go Cardinals!… or… whatever the hell our mascot was) and although I worked out obsessively and ate nothing but Tic-Tacs and Diet Dr. Pepper for the entire week before the event, I somehow did not magically lose the extra 60 pounds I’m [...]

I went to Los Angeles this past weekend, which is why you got such a quick recap out of me on last week’s show (for once) and I met up with Flipit, his friend Tricia, ChickBomb, and MonaMonzano for drinks on Friday night at the semi-famed Abbey, smack-dab in the middle of Boys Town (West [...]

Boy, it has been a long and strange eight weeks, hasn’t it? Never in life did I think I would have the opportunity to see so many walking doormat salon owners, poorly skilled colorists, badly-hygiened cutters and downright stupid support staff. We’ve seen just about every kind of managenent style, too… starting with the Micro- [...]

Back when I was a young boy, and still had hope for the future, I dreamed of a world in which everyone flitted about in personal hovercrafts and jet-packs (mysteriously avoiding zillions of mid-air collisions), computers would talk to us in British accents (they’d all sound like Joan Collins in her giant shoulder-padded Dynasty days), [...]

Offices, as a rule, suck as far as interior design goes. Unless you’re Anna Wintour (editor of Vogue) or Diane Von Furburger (famously accented fashion designer) or Martha Stewart (God), you pretty much are stuck with a room that has all the personality and sex-appeal of a wad of gum stuck under the conference room [...]

There’s at least one in every workplace. We’ve all been stuck at a desk or in a cube near her at some point. She’s the gal who wears the ill-fitting too-tight tops and low-rise capris (with thong undies) and doesn’t seem to understand that at a certain point spaghetti straps stop looking sexy and start [...]

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not the most athletic of men. When I’m motivated, I can get the hell up on a stage and shake my 250 pound ass so hard to the beats of Janet, Beyoncé and Rihanna that other people get injured… and then other times I find myself [...]

Sometimes I sit in my cubicle at work and stare off into space having one of my many Lottery Fantasies… one of which involves having my own adult film production company (mercifully for you, O Beloved Gasmii, I will not go into detail about it other than to say it would feature hefty men like [...]

In the world of Design, there is a fine line between looking chic… and looking like you take it up the ass. Well, actually, no, there really isn’t any difference between the two, and that’s why a lot of straight-male bachelor pads are probably “decorated” with generous quantities of dirt, body hair, stiff kleenex and [...]

This week on Project Runway, Kenley’s an a hole. Sorry was that a spoiler? Pointy heads, frizzy hair and under eye bags are in and hot skinny blondes are out. Project Runway for President!

When I was still a practicing Catholic (I say “practicing” because I never got really good at it… you know, the whole “I-go-to-church-on-Sundays-so-that-gives-me-carté-blanche-to-be-a-raging-dickwad-towards-the-rest-of-humanity-the-other-six-days-of-the-week” thing) my little sister and I co-owned a concession stand at the Bingo games on Sunday Night at Our Lady Of Perpetual Help… …except we always called it “Our Lady Of Perpetual [...]