POSTS TAGGED: competition

Hello again friends! You know, every time I go to my local salon these days I always ask the stylist whose chair I land in if they watch reality TV, and in particular if they are fans of Shear Genius. If they clutch their chest, gasp and start in on how fucked up last night’s [...]

Welcome back, friends! I’m so glad you’ve rejoined me, because I want to tell you about an Incident that happened to me this week. I was driving home from work, minding my own business, and lip-synching flawlessly to SWV’s “Right Here/Human Nature” as I zipped along through traffic. Eventually I noticed a car keeping pace [...]

Hello friends. Let’s talk for a minute about that friend you have (and yes, of course behind her back… duh, it’s called manners)… you know the one I mean, she is tall, thin, good-looking, has a great job, awesome wardrobe, cool car, sweet house, plenty of cash, a smokin’-hot body and is usually surrounded by [...]

Hello hair hoppers! My name is J-Mo, I am a Top Chef fan, and once upon a time I did a Google search on the words “Lisa”, “Fernandes” and “bitch”. One of the results that was kicked back to me was housed inside a recap on this very site (TVGasm.com) written by the fabulous LoLo [...]

Okay, so I was in L.A. a couple of weekends ago for my BF’s birthday, and I called up Flipit and Juddfan to see if they wanted to come see a drag show that my BFF Erick told me about (one of his other F’s was performing in it) and they were both like, “Who [...]

Hello again everybody! My name is J-Mo, and I’ve just breezed in for a few minutes to chat with you all and make a confession. Like many Americans, I made sure to sit down and pay attention to the President’s State Of The Union Address last night. In fact, I took copious notes on it. [...]

Hello everybody, and welcome back. Did you all have a lovely Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Drunken Depressive Blackout? Did Santa bring you the perfect gift, such as booze and gift cards, or did you wind up with something far less desirable, like crabs or a subpoena? Me, I was busy packing on a [...]

Hi ‘Gasmii. *sigh* Where does the time go? It can’t possibly be a full six months that we’ve been meeting here to talk about Top Chef in one form or another, can it? Have we really been sitting here for twenty-four weeks straight analyzing the challenges, arguing about our favorite chefs and generally talking trash [...]

What’s up, people? Are you all in the midst of your holiday craze yet? Last night I was outside putting my pretty sparkly lights up at 3:00am. Was I on meth? No, sillies, meth makes you skinny, therefore you can take one look at me and tell I don’t touch the stuff. Plus, I still [...]

Hey ‘Gasmii, I’m finally back. I can’t apologize enough for the delays on this recap. As you may recall, the BF and I headed to Los Angeles last weekend where we ate some fine foods (Flipit and I shared a plate of deep-fried mac’n’cheese balls at Hamburger Mary’s on Santa Monica Blvd and giggled and [...]

Hi guys’n’gals’n’tranzys, and welcome back to our regularly scheduled season of clowns. I never thought I would miss these people so much until they were taken away from me and I had to look at five seasons worth of douchebitchery… not to mention watching Fabio in his apparent audition to become The Next Bertolli Chefâ„¢. [...]

Welcome everyone! Do you like reunions? I don’t mean the heart-wrenching, soul-twisting, tear-jerking kind that you find in the movies where some long-separated pair of lovers is brought back together after years of hardships and suffering and they have just enough time to have sex once before one of them is killed either in a [...]

Hello and greetings and Happy Post-Halloween! I hope all of you had a great time, wore some fun costumes, and had some tasty candy. As many of you may be aware, Halloween = Gay Christmas so naturally I was in the middle of a great big gay bar party out in Scottsdale that puts on [...]

Welcome back to Las Vegas ye faithful culinarians! I think Scar once said there were something like 70 million billion trillion hillion skillion restaurants in Sin City, and I bet all of them are hurting right now. Let’s face it, there are only so many ways to make “Cheap Beef & Tiny Skrimps” sound classy [...]

Previously we learned that if you make it through rounds and rounds of interviews and casting sessions and the first 3 legs of the race – you should probably know enough to HOLD ON TO YOUR @%&*$@! PASSPORT! WHY?!?! Because this is “AMAZING RACE“. Not “Amazing Race Around the Continental US”. Dan and Sam, the [...]

Hello again foodie fans! I just got back from the wonderfully cold, windy and rainy city of Indianapolis where I was attending yet another drag queen pageant. This one is specially geared towards fat guys who like to wear pretty dresses and who strike terror in the hearts of late-night drive-thru employees everywhere. Over the [...]

Buenos Tardyforthepartys, ‘Gasmii! Praise Jesus there was no new episode last week, I was in waaaay too much horrible debilitating pain (and clouded by waaaay too many drugs) to make sense of a fucking Bullwinkle cartoon, much less a complex reality TV show (and let’s not even talk about how much fun it was trying [...]

Welcome back everyone! It’s time for the show that preaches worldly knowledge while its contestants practice worldly ignorance! I’m bBitz and I’m excited to be back for my 3rd season of this Emmy-award winning show! (Clearly because of my recaps.) Last season we learned that just because you’re deaf doesn’t mean you can’t win (well… [...]

Hey hey hey, what’s up people? I may have spoken about my brush with the culinary world before. I don’t like to talk about it much, because I don’t want people to think I’m trying to be all grand or pretentious. However, I can say that I was a chef for about 11 months at [...]

Welcome back boys and girls (and anyone undecided)! This may come as a complete shock to some of you, but I actually grew up and became a very experienced outdoor camper in the wilds of Minnesorta… as a member of the Boy Scouts Of America. Yeah, I actually learned orienteering by the stars, how to [...]

Hi again foodie fans! While I was in Las Vegas last week a good friend of mine convinced me and the BF to travel with him to Chinatown there (no, I didn’t know Vegas had a Chinatown, either) and we had lunch at an odd little place that was kind of in the middle of [...]

Hey there everybody! I’m only one day back from Vegas and I miss it already! I can’t tell you what it was like to spend five days in the company of 799 other fat gay men except to say that I felt positively svelte when laying out by the hotel pool and watching some of [...]

I’ve officially started my countdown. Four days from today I will be in gorgeous Las Vegas, Nevada, most likely drunk off my ass and probably hazily wondering where my room key / cell phone / boyfriend / underwear has disappeared to, and that will be just fine with me, because that’s part of what Vegas [...]

Buenos Nachos, my fellow gastric gamblers! That there is a little Spanish that means “Good Doritos”. I just finished the recap for the Finale of Top Chef Masters literally minutes ago and here I am starting another one already. Needless to say I’m a tad punchy, which is the perfect frame of mind to be [...]

Greetings, ‘Gasmii! It’s taken ten weeks, but we’ve finally arrived at the Last Competitionâ„¢! I dunno about you guys, but I think this show was actually fairly successful in showing us a different facet of the whole Top Chef franchise. One without Scar! How is that even possible?… …Well, you start out by making a [...]

Hi everybody! I’m back from L.A., and I had a wonderful time there watching Flipit’s improvisational musical comedy performance as a pregnant teenager in Iowa named Andrea who has a pair of singing lesbian mothers and gets married to a sex-addicted abortion doctor that patronizes prostitutes. No, I’m not even kidding, just ask ChickBomb, she [...]

Hi again, ‘Gasmii. As you may well remember, I was on vacation in Kentucky at a drag queen pageant for about a week, and one of the things that I love about taking vacations is the fact that I can eat whatever I want. Then again, I pretty much eat whatever I want when I’m [...]

Helloooooo ‘Gasmii, it’s so good to be back home again. I’m so sorry about the delay in getting this posted, I’ve spent the last several days surrounded by dozens of drag queens competing with one another to see who can mutilate Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” choreography in the worst possible way and now I fully understand [...]

I have to start out by saying that I wasn’t sure I was going to like this show when Flipit first approached me with the idea of recapping it, because it’s kind of like Top Chef’s your boyfriend, and Top Chef Masters is your boyfriend’s older brother that you accidentally wind up naked in the [...]

Greetings gastrophiles! People who know me in real life know that I love to throw parties and play fun music and have fabulous food that I usually force my BF to cook and serve. He loves it, too. You must ignore him if he tells you differently. As for me, I pretty much stick to [...]

Welcome back to another season of Big Brother! Schoonie, Flipit, and Copyhacker here. We are starting off with our group recap, and then will return to regular format for the rest of the season! Grodner has filled the house with some very impressive ignoramii, so let’s get started! Why is Chastity Bono sobbing? Find out [...]

Hey everybody! I just realized something… I’ve been recapping for TVGasm for an entire year now (my first recap ever was on July 2nd of last year) and I just want to give a big warm and gooey thanks to all of you incredible ‘Gasmii for making me feel so welcome, I absolutely love my [...]

Bienvenue, my fellow cuisine connoisseurs! You know, so far this show has kinda surprised me with it’s almost total lack of outrageously hugantic ginormous egotistical assclowns, and I was beginning to think that I’d be reduced to making lame jokes about bad hair and croggily-wacked teefs on these pros… until tonight. Now, we can change [...]

Welcome to Round Two, my little culinary cohorts! At the risk of revealing something personal, I’m going to go out on a limb and admit that I’m not a fan of leftovers… something that my BF is constantly reminding me of in his patented Long-Suffering-Voiceâ„¢. In fact, for the first 5 years we were together [...]

Well, hello again foodie fans! My name is J-Mo and the last time we were together it was in the barren, frightening, and almost entirely calorie-free zone known as America’s Next Top Model (a.k.a. TyraWorldâ„¢) so I’m sure you can imagine my excitement when Flipit gave me the green light to work on a series [...]

Oh my dear fierceling fashionistas, it is with a heavy heart that I sit down to write this final recap. Or maybe that’s just the pizza and beer I’ve just inhaled. Gimme a second, here… *urp* Okay, I feel better now. It’s just so hard to believe that only 3 short months ago we were [...]

Hi-hi once again to all you Ty-Ty fans! Let me start out by making a heartfelt apology to everybody for all the exposed chubby manflesh (i.e. hairy tits) in last week’s recap… after ten weeks of watching women who need USA For Africa far more desperately than Africa does, I got a little carried away [...]

W’sup girls’n’boys? Welcome back to Brazil, home of elite fashion designers, thick accents and zero labia hair, and I have some pressing questions for you all. Have you ever wondered what some of these girls would look like wearing a doily and some dental floss? Would you be interested in watching Sex-God Nigel Barker making [...]

Olá! e boa vinda! That means “Hello and welcome” in Portuguese! I’m so glad you’ve joined me once again, because it probably means that you are enjoying my semi-rare and mildly stimulating insights into the cosmic fabulosity of this show. Given the average length of my recaps, it also probably means you have about a [...]

Welcome once again fellow fashion fans! Thank you for your patience while I was off having a fabulous time dancing and sweating in the sudden 100-degree heat-wave that hit Phoenix this past weekend… but on the plus side, some guy came up and told my drag-queen friend that his favorite dancer out of the six [...]