POSTS TAGGED: conrad

The Hills

The Hills: Here Comes Trouble, And It’s Wearing A Stupid Hat

Somewhere, Lorenzo Lamas is turning in his fashion grave. Tonight’s episode of “The Hills” taught us that everything happens for a reason, and when one door closes, another one opens. Or, wait, no… actually, everything happens because your life is controlled by a television team and when one door closes, all other doors will surely [...]

The Hills

The Hills: Warning: Watch Only If Totally Stoned

“Sigh, I wish they would cast me some REAL friends.” Do you remember in seventh grade, when all the girls and all the boys started noticing each other, and people would kiss (or… you know… whatever) while playing “Seven Minutes In Heaven” at a party and by Monday morning everybody knew everything? Like one giant [...]

The Hills

The Hills: A Wolf In Leelee Sobieski’s Clothing

“Note to self: destroy guidance counselor.” Tonight brought us a special bonus dose of our bevy of beauties. We open at FIDM, where – wait, what? LC’s still in school?! She hasn’t been there in at least two seasons! I call bullshit. Sure enough, the teacher reads the roster in a heavy Bahstin accent and [...]

The Hills

The Hills: At Least We’re Single!

“Whoop-de-fucking do!” Here’s what makes The Hills fantastic: other shows typically edit out the blank stares and silences between takes and during other characters’ endless babbling. The Hills has managed to make an entire series out of these moments, cutting up and rearranging reactions (or non-reactions) into whatever space they please. This week we join [...]