POSTS TAGGED: cw

Smize What’s up, Gasmii?  Let’s get ready for another week of Arrow, and let’s please all cross our fingers for some hot shirtless mens.  Last week, Oliver got all the vigilante charges against him dropped by having Diggle pretend to be Arrow, Moira ostensibly removed Oliver from suspicion regarding the secret corrupt organization the Queen [...]

Hello there, Gasmii and Arrow lovers!  Welcome back to our CW guilty pleasure.  I read that Arrow got picked up for a full season, so yay!  I assume that means 22 episodes, so hopefully the plot progression won’t slow down in the weeks to come.  Anyway, previously on Arrow,  Walter Steele discovered that Moira Queen [...]

You need to get those expectations LOWERED, beyotch. Like, almost touching the ground.

Well hello there, Gasmii!  We meet again.  Last week on Arrow, Ollie faced off against a Mortal Kombat character and Fataly-ed him in the eye, Whaurel showed us a little self-defense, Mommy Queen thinks (or is at least portraying) that Oliver doesn’t know shit about his daddy’s dirty deeds, Ollie is dropping a truth bomb [...]

Hey there, Gasmii!  Welcome back to The Hottie McShirtless Hour Arrow!  Previously on Arrow:  billionaire playboy Oliver McQueen returns a changed man from being shipwrecked for five years, he has a Lisa Frank journal with a kill list from his father, his best friend may or may not know there’s something going on with Ollie, [...]

Holler, gasmii!  It’s my pleasure to recap a new trashy program from the CW, Arrow.  ­My initial attraction to this show was two-fold.  The CW is notorious for making ridiculous shows that seem to beg for snarkcapping, and the guys in this cast are really bringing the hotness.  Only really being into X-Men growing up, [...]

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Never forget the Patio Poodle!   This recap/review/analysis could go one of several ways: 1) Do I LOVE it, without criticism? Talk up the show’s very cool twists and turns? Praise the performances? Admire SMG’s general loveliness? Give a thumbs up to the sheer brilliance of the costume department? 2) Do I call BULLSHIT? I’m [...]

  Prelude to a Finale – “It’s Called Improvising, Bitch!”   Oh RINGER. You low down, dirty dog. You cruel, cruel mistress. When we began this tryst, I thought you were fun, different. Yes, you were a drama queen, but you could also be silly and weren’t afraid to laugh at yourself. But then things [...]

Two points of business before we launch into the details of “If You’re Just An Evil Bitch, Then Get Over It”. (HAHAHA!) #1 – Just realized Shaylene Briggs is the mother from Awkward. She is put to MUCH better use on that show and is still very very cute. #2 – Do you think this [...]

My new “favorite” show in the whole wide world is Once Upon A Time. It airs on Sunday nights at 8pm on ABC. Anything I can find out about this show is a plus. I DID find out a few interesting tidbits. The March 25th episode will take us away from Storybrooke to Wonderland, as [...]

Chooch looks at the upcoming schedule

Bridget continues to flail while Siobhan proves she’s the smart one.

It’s that time a year! We’re back with TVgasm’s Fall Predictions and Previews: Part One! The recappers got together to mock all of the trailers for the upcoming Fall shows and predict which will succeed and will fail miserably and embarrass the parents of all involved in their making. We’re never wrong. OK sometimes we [...]

ANTM is back. Again. No really, it’s still on.

A new family moves to the Upper East Side with ulterior motives.

A conveyor belt proves to be the biggest bitch of all.

A look at tonight’s TV

Season Four: New city. Same bag of tricks!

Tonight’s TV

A look at some of tonight’s TV

Another night of newness

Oh no!  The CW just can’t get it right!  They sent me a clip of their new reality makeover show, Plain Jane. I swear, it looks like they spoofed a bad makeover show.  I get what they’re trying to do here–but the music score, the story telling–why can’t they get reality right?  It visually looks [...]

It’s finally time to put this season out of it’s misery.

Who will be America’s Next Top Model?

Post SAT drama on 90210, and a little love too.

This week on America’s Next Top Model, Tyra teaches us how to make up words. I can do it too! Let’s see… I’m going to take “awful” “arrogant” and “hypocrite” and what do I get?! TYRA! “She’s a sucky person!”

****And now please welcome LOLO back to the fold!! WE MISSED YOU BABE! Well, I gotta hand it to Flipit. Only two things would have forced me out of recap retirement: giving me an outlet for my Tyra rage or making Jeff from BB my personal sex slave. Because Technotronics is still safely sequestered in [...]

Last week on Gossip Girl, the goddamn blogging software ate my recap, hence me posting nearly two weeks later. We also learned that the rape gene is hereditary, people from Iowa are idiots, and that old people are full of phlegm. “But Dorota, I don’t want to follow the scary girl. I want to lick [...]

This week on Gossip Girl, Chuck teaches us it’s never too early for a line of coke, Eric finally says to Jenny what we’ve all been dying to tell her, and we learn that Jenny and Dan’s relationship is WAY grosser than anything between Dan and Serena, half-sibling or not. As if we needed more [...]

Happy 2009 and welcome to the first Gossip Girl recap of the new year! I hope you all had a fabulous holiday, and are as excited as I am for our favorite shows to get back up and running! Nevermind Chuck. He’s still upset he didn’t get that pony he asked for.

Two weeks ago on Gossip Girl (heh… sorry bout that…), a pivotal event shakes our UESiders, giving us weddings, funerals, illegitimate children and declarations of love. I haven’t cried this much since the last time I stepped on a scale. “I should have told you to eat shit with that licorice ring and married the [...]

This week on Gossip Girl, the show finally returns to form as Blair and Chuck are at their best, Jenny and Vanessa finally have it out, and our predictions look like they’re coming true. Plus: Extra Dorota!

This week on Gossip Girl, Jenny and Bart compete for the title of Dumbest Person EVER while Chuck is a worthy runner up. Seriously, I haven’t seen this much stupidity outside an episode of Big Brother in a long time. This isn’t so scandalous when it’s more clothing than she normally wears, anyway.

This week on Gossip Girl, we focus on Jenny for the second week in a row in this filler episode that hopefully is just setting things up for better plots to come. J Humphrey Designs. Call 917-VERY-FUG.

This week on Gossip Girl, Jenny’s mullet takes center stage as she befriends Mini Coop, shoots daggers of hatred at Eleanor through her raccoon eyes, and trades being molested by one creepily older dude for another. “Welcome to the NYC, bitch!”

This week on Gossip Girl, we have to deal with a lot of Vanessa, but the payoff makes it more than worth it. Plus, Dan is surprisingly likable and I get the recap posted at reasonable speed. All together now, Chair ‘shippers: “EEEEK!”

This week on Gossip Girl, a trip to Yale gives us catfights, secret societies, and a half-naked Penn Badgley. Not a bad week, friends, not a bad week. “Blake, Leighton, I said cut! CUT! Oh god, here they go again… Hair and makeup, stand by.”

Hey everyone! Your regularly scheduled America’s Next Top Model recapper, Hoolia, is out kicking ass interviewing for jobs that actually pay, so I’ll be subbing in for her this week. I’ll do my best to live up to the quality you expect from her, so without further ado, let’s bring on the vapidness! “Honk honk! [...]

This week on Gossip Girl, new friendships emerge, old friendships splinter apart, and Dan is one God-awful writer. I dare you to read this without wanting to stab yourself in the eye.