POSTS TAGGED: fox

Monday, January 30th The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Courtney suggests Ben go skinny dipping with her. And the remaining desperados who didn’t think of it first clutch their pearls and bunch their panties. House (Fox, 8 pm) House threatens Foreman’s relationship with a married woman (Yaya DaCosta). Yaya. Someone named their kid Yaya. I’m not [...]

Friday, January 27 20/20 (ABC, 9 pm) When a woman tries to divorce her husband, TV producer Richard Shenkman, he reacts with a violent rampage that includes stalking, burning a house to the ground, and kidnapping his estranged wife at gunpoint. I think there’s still some love there. Does this ticket say “slap some raw [...]

  I wonder who’s bright idea it was to hold auditions in Aspen? It doesn’t make much sense when you think about it. Aspen is small. Aspen is expensive. Aspen is a destination town, not the hub of Colorado. Sounds perfect! I blame Randy. I blame Randy for everything To justify the Aspen location, we [...]

A mother and son tear each others’ throats out…in Greek!

Tuesday, January 24th  Nothing stops The Blob! The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8 pm) The teams compete in a battering ram challenge to win rights to the gym. Battering ram? I AM a battering ram! All Star Dealers (Discovery, 8 pm) A treasure hunt through Dennis Rodman’s storage facility. Not it! The Rosie Show (OWN, 7 [...]

Monday, January 23 The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Jennifer and Rachel get one-on-one dates; Ben takes eight lucky ladies horseback riding; Ben surprises a bachelorette at the after party; Emily warns Ben about one of the women. Courtney’s fiendish plot to rule the world unaccountably requires the destruction of a greasy-haired young man named Ben… [...]

Friday, January 20th Shark Tank (ABC, 8 pm) NBA champion Bill Walton helps a triathlete pitch his idea for a unique water bottle. He wears a Bottle Boy suit. Oh, Bill. Star Wars: Clone Wars (Cartoon Network, 8 pm) Obi-Wan enters a prison, disguised as a convict, in order to extract information; Obi-Wan must work [...]

Everyone wants to be the pretty girl at the ball. Well, the time has finally come, Gasmii. We’ve waded through a myriad of pretenders to the (Lost) throne, from the campy and ultimately un-fulfilling V to the tepid and unfocused The Event, all in the hopes that one day, somehow, we would find a show [...]

Nigel to the rescue!

Thursday, Jan. 19 American Idol (8 pm) Stability is the keyword for this season as the judges’ panel remains the same for the second straight year, the first time the panel has been the same in consecutive seasons since the addition of the (short-lived) fourth judge following season seven. “We’re holding stable” seems like a [...]

Wednesday, Jan. 18th Whitney (ABC, 8 pm) Happily unmarried Whitney (Whitney Cummings) and Alex (Chris D’Elia) seek advice from their friends when they realize they are close to relationship boredom. Well, at least their circle of friends isn’t an adorably quirky bunch. Oh. Brain trust. American Idol (Fox, 8 pm) Auditions in Atlanta. This. Again. [...]

Gordon whips an Atlanta BBQ joint into shape.

A thrilling Alcatraz prison cell! (Don’t worry, guys – the show is MUCH classier (and more exciting) than the real Alcatraz.) Howdy, Gasmii!! After a hefty holiday break, I think we’re all ready for some quality television viewing, don’t you agree? Unfortunately, it’s MIDSEASON – typically seen as the time of year when weak-ass pilots [...]

Tuesday, Jan. 17 Glee (Fox, 8 pm) Finn’s plans for after graduation surprise his friends. A spin-off show in which he goes to college that lasts six episodes before being canceled? Snooki, look out! Taboo (National Geographic Channel) Humans have an inherent urge to fight. In some cultures, the boundaries of what is considered acceptable [...]

Monday, Jan. 16 The Rosie Show (OWN, 7 pm) Rehearsal for Rosie’s Theater Kids. Has Oprah got a theater charity yet? Then get me one, fool, before she thinks of it! What’s it spelling? L, I, M, O, R, I, D,E, O, F, S, H, A, M, E. Oh, no! The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) [...]

Thursday, January 12th Rob (CBS, 8:30 pm) Rob (Rob Schneider) meets his new wife’s large Mexican-American family for the first time and notices he doesn’t quite fit in. This Rob Schneider vehicle will last exactly as long as it takes NBC to realize that reruns of Two and a Half Men get better ratings. Project [...]

The Beverly Jillbillies??

Wednesday, Jan. 11 One Tree Hill (CW, 8 pm) Clay and Quinn encounter a mysterious problem. No matter what they try, their DVR just will not tape the Venture Bros. Nature (PBS, 8 pm) Street-smart kangaroos move into Australia’s capital city. “Clean and sober. Have a mate and joeys. Anything helps. God bless!” Suburgatory (ABC, [...]

Tuesday, Jan. 10 Oh great. Now they have to go to the bathroom. Texas Multi Mamas (WE, 8 pm) Casey takes her quads on a road trip. Remember your helmet! Work It (ABC, 8:30 pm) When the guys make their first attempts at sales, they are surprised to discover that Lee’s experience is no competition [...]

Monday, Jan. 9 The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Twelve bachelorettes try out for a community theater production written by children. That’s totally meta, considering that the Bachelor’s story arcs are written for children. Antiques Roadshow (PBS, 8 pm) A 1960 first edition copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird”; collection of bronzes; rare 1924 Gibson F-5 [...]

Saturday, Jan. 7 My Cat From Hell (Animal Planet, 8 pm) A cat named Kleo keeps Tim from proposing to his girlfriend. Kleo has no opposable thumbs. How much control over Tim can she possibly have? Cops (Fox, 8 pm) A homeless man refuses to leave the handicap stall in a store bathroom. Who can [...]

Friday, Jan. 6 E! News! (E!, 7 pm) A team of reporters cover television, film and music, as well as the celebrity party scene. Is Jessica Biel pregnant? Is Justin Timberlake the father? Aren’t Ryan Seacrest’s teeth shiny tonight? Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC, 8 pm) Ty and the team head to Iowa to help [...]

Thursday, Jan. 5 What’s spellcheck ever done for me? Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC, 6 pm) Large prizes draw contestants to the America’s Trezured Dollz pageant in Nashville, Tenn. Candice? Are you sure you spelled the name of that pageant right? Project Runway All Stars (Lifetime, 9 pm) Guest judges include famed fashionista Miss Piggy and [...]

Wednesday, Jan. 4 Deep well of undirected anger. Hardball with Chris Matthews (MSNBC, 5 pm) Political analyst Chris Matthews talks about a wide range of issues and asks hard questions of politicians, pundits and other guests. Chris, ask Congress the question we all want answered: “WHAT THE @#!%! DO YOU FUCKWAFFLES THINK YOU’RE DOING??” The [...]

Tuesday, Jan. 2 Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC, 9 pm) Gayle Haggard, wife of former TV evangelist Ted Haggard, trades lives with Steffanie Sampson, who is engaged to actor Gary Busey and rejects organized religion. After experiencing Gary Busey lovin’, Gayle refuses to swap back. Rooint! Work It (ABC, 8:30 pm) When unemployed best friends Lee [...]

Monday, Jan. 2nd Hold on. Just let me get rid of this bimbo… The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Ben Flajnik returns to the mansion for the season’s first cocktail party; a septuagenarian confesses her love for Ben; a bachelorette shows up at the mansion on a horse. Ben and Levi the horse have been spotted [...]

Sat., Dec. 31 Strange Sex: The Year’s Best (TLC, 8 pm) The top-10 strangest sex stories impart the strangest, most-unusual instances of relationships and sexual practices. Freak babies, freak families, freak brides, freak sex. Go “impart” your freaks somewhere else, TLC. The Bourne Ultimatum (CBS, 8:30 pm) Jason Bourne continues his international quest to uncover [...]

Friday, Dec. 30th The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (ABC, 8 pm) Children join forces with the lion mystic Aslan to free the land of Narnia from the White Witch’s wintry spell. Based on the novel by C.S. Lewis. Pevensie has got to be the most unlikely last name ever. Need to Know (PBS, [...]

Thursday, Dec. 29th Happy New Year, Charlie Brown (ABC, 8 pm) While other members of the Peanuts gang plan a holiday celebration, Charlie Brown struggles with “War and Peace”. I think there’s mad sexual tension between Charlie Brown and Lucy. Vampire Diaries (CW, 8 pm) Elena is left feeling conflicted after Rebekah opens up to [...]

Wednesday, Dec. 28th Dr. Phil (Own, 8 pm) A woman leaves her husband for another man and now lives in a tent; a woman learns her husband was living a secret life for almost a year. For the last 12 months, he was known at the TGI Friday’s as “Eduardo.” Modern Family (ABC, 9 pm) [...]

A look at the year through Chooch’s eyes

Tuesday, Dec. 27 Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (ABC Family, 6 pm) A poor boy and his grandfather win a tour through the marvelous factory of a wily confectioner. The good version. Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (ABC Family, 6 pm) A poor boy and four spoiled children win a tour through the [...]

Monday, Dec. 26 Rudolph’s Shiny New Year (ABC, 8 pm) Rudolph the reindeer comes to the rescue when an evil bird kidnaps the New Year baby. Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass occasionally sought inspiration in drugs. Sometimes you get Heat Miser. Sometimes, you get… this. You Deserve It (CBS, 9 pm) Contestants try to solve [...]

Saturday, Dec. 24 Rocky II (Versus, 5 pm) Underdog Philadelphia fighter Rocky Balboa gets another shot at heavyweight champ Apollo Creed. Sports Reporter: “Hey, Rock! Doya think ya got brain damage?” Rocky: “I don’t see any.” All the Best, All the Worst of 2011 (CNN, 7 pm) 2011 in politics, pop culture, the economy and [...]

Friday, Dec 23rd SpongeBob Squarepants (Nik, 7 pm) SpongeBob receives an invitation to take part in a competition on Karate Island. Sweep the leg, Spongebob. Earth 2050: The Future of Energy (Green Planet, 7 pm) In the year 2050, with a booming population in dire need of energy, how will we adapt? We won’t. Fossil [...]

Thursday, Dec. 22 The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer (CNN, 4 pm) Traditional reporting and online resources update international news. “Online sources” = Wikileaks. Big Shrimpin’ (Discovery 7 pm) Barbara blocks in the Hannah at the dock; Miss Ashleigh gets a head start on fishing; Roundhead runs into trouble when a leaky bag shows negligence [...]

Synchronized Swim!!!

Tuesday, Dec. 20 Ron White’s Celebrity Salute to the Troops (CMT, 7:45 pm) The comic salutes our servicemen and women. You gotta admire a man who can drink bourbon, take a drag on a Marlboro, and deliver a punchline all at the same time. Rock Stars (National Geographic Channel, 8 pm) “Rock Stars” follows a [...]

Monday, Dec. 19 Who’s Still Standing (NBC, 8 pm) High-stakes game show that gives contestants a chance to win up to $1 million … or they may fall through a trap door. Are there sharks with lasers under the trap doors? Bubbling acid? Poison-smeared iron spikes? C’mon NBC, it’s trivia. You gotta give me something! [...]

Saturday, Dec. 17th Star Trek Next Generation (BBC America, 6 pm) Before entering Starfleet Academy, Wesley accompanies Picard on a mission that jeopardizes the captain’s life. Shut up, Wesley. CNN Newsroom (CNN, 7 pm) Breaking news. All of it bad. Fox Report (Fox News Channel, 7 pm) Analysis and interpretation of the day’s lead stories. [...]