POSTS TAGGED: funny

Well hello gorgeous dolls, and welcome to VH1′s latest foray into challenge based reality programming – I Love Money. Well, who doesn’t? But we’re not all willing to wade into the cesspool that VH1 calls “celeb”-reality for it. You know, in this world there are two kinds of people. There are those who do, and [...]

Holla Gasmii, It’s here!! The SGTL finale and, Holy Crap Batman, am I beside myself!!! This has got to be the cheapest finale in the history of Reality TV. Seriously, did somebody abscond with the funds? Even Viva Hollywood, the bargain basement of Reality TV, had disco ball… We just get to watch the Kimsicle [...]

Man! I knew it. I knew there was going to be an episode of this show where the non-blondes dyed their hair blonde to finally, really really become Elle Woods. I had hoped it would happen earlier in the season, when there were 4 non-blondes. (Or even 5. Remember the sad sack Cassie O?). But [...]

“I never meant to hurt you…” Well, it’s been a long road, my friends. A long painful road through this season of The Bachelorette. DeAnna returned from torturous rejection to show the world THE CORRECT way to do this show. She was treated completely unfairly and humiliated before the nation, so she came back to [...]

“Oh the boys must be SO happy to see me again!” Hey beloved readers, I know I promised to recap the The Bachelorette Men Tell Nothing, so I’m presenting this just before I dive into the THREE HOUR finale recap. Hope you enjoy and that it will hold you over until we can jointly shred [...]

The Bot announced the cast of this season’s Big Brother yesterday morning on the Early Show, so we got together to get to know them a bit before Sunday’s big launch. They were almost exactly like the YouTube video leaked a few days ago. Misogynists, bimbos and Shirley McLaine made the list. Thank God for [...]

We start Baby Borrowers this week with a recap of what happened previously, which can be summed up by calling the teen parents what they are: Dumb and Dumber. However, they do show previews for next week, and it looks like naked + toddler = pee on the sofa. I can’t wait for that treasured [...]

If you’re still recovering from last week’s episode, where the most exciting thing that happened was Jeff’s butt-fucking-confusing dialogue about pizza toppings with assistant Jenni, you’re more delusional than all of Flipping Out’s characters …combined. Like, fer serious, Bravo is basically inventing a new dish of stupid: 1 part Century 21, 2 parts Tony Shalhoub [...]

We’re back for another exciting week of So You Think You Can Dance! Only 14 dancers – 7 couples – remain! It’s gonna be a quick show – OH BUT WAIT! Everyone’s dancing TWICE. Imagine my excitement. JUST when I though it’d get easier. I’m surprised Fox hasn’t turned it into a four hour show [...]

Hi-hi Gasmii! It’s me, J-Mo, back again to help guide you as we work our way through the pretentious bitch-fest that is the second episode of Shear Genius Season Two, where hair-stylists are cannon-fodder, and some of Bravo’s far less talented reality stars are striving hard for Minute 16! “Kim Vo, did you just cut [...]

Hey Gasmii: Welcome to week 5 of She’s Got the Look!!! It’s the show that never disappoints!!! Every week we get to watch our truly awesome and beautiful women contestants being subjected to whims of the cognitively impaired producers. And this week is no different!!! Seriously, I think it’s important to offer all people, regardless [...]

Welcome back to the Real World Hollywood! This week, we have cheating hearts and an orgy. Yes, an orgy. Do I need to say anything more to get you to keep reading? If you need more incentive, Blondie could possibly drown or be eaten by non picky giant fish.

This week Hell’s Kitchen starts off by doing my job for me and putting a massive recap together of the entire season. We get to revisit all the highlights (and lowlights), including Craig’s big, dumb, tall hat; Mr. Mom Dominick throwing out piles of scallops; Fatso plopping his big ass into the hot tub with [...]

Hello Legally Blonde watchers. Welcome back to the Pink House. If you’re still with me, it means you’ve fallen under the same unlikely spell as I have and you’ve suddenly found yourself giving a crap what happens to these overblown homecoming queens. I know, it’s unsettling. But just hang in there a few more weeks [...]

“Graham, Graham, wherefore art thou Graham?” Tonight on The Bachelorette DeAnna goes on three nearly identical dates in the Bahamas. The guys can DEFINITELY see themselves falling in love with DeAnna and she can DEFINITELY see herself spending the rest of her life with each of them. It’s a Fantasy Overnight Three-peat to remember!

OK, so we’re in Las Vegas to whittle the first group of 438 semi-finalists down to a more manageable 10. Five of them will come from tonight’s show, the other four will be chosen next week during another two hour, eighteen Applebee’s commercial episode. Host Bill Bellamy describes tonight’s program as “an international battle like [...]

***Letter from the Editor: You guys have sent us letters asking for Shear Genius recaps, and we have found the perfect writer for you. Please welcome to newest member to the TVgasm family, J-MO!!! HOLLA! Now that Top Chef is finished for another season, and we’re waiting for another season of Project Runway to begin, [...]

Hey Gasmii, I’ve got to start off this week with a question – anyone else out there upset that Brittany got dissed by Tila? I mean, if there was anyone in this house who seemed like a somewhat normal person, it was Brittany. That being said, we all know this show is about Tila’s vanity [...]

This week on Living Lohan, I MISS NANAHAN! I worry for you, Nanahan! Stop slutting around and get your raisin to Vegas!

Dear Crabby, It’s summertime. Where can I find my fix of obnoxious teens, fretful parents, and teething babies (followed by toddlers, pre-teens, teens, and finally the bain of every driver’s existence, the elderly)? -Couch Ass Groove Dear Couch, Check out Baby Borrowers on Wednesday nights, where all of that is rolled into one delicious hour!

It’s elimination time once again on America’s “number once dance show” (according to Nigel – “suck it ABDC!”)… it’s So You Think You Can Dance! The opening number is to “The Dance” by Charlotte Martin. It definitely looks a little freaky… like I wouldn’t want to meet these people on the street – it looks [...]

Welcome back to the Real World Hollywood! This week, what goes around comes back around to our resident Goody Two Shoes, and I have to say, it’s probably the most enjoyable moment of Real World Hollywood yet. Well, with the exception of Meathead Joey’s soliloquies. Yeah, still missing the big lug. But let’s catch up [...]

We are finally down to only two episodes left in season four of Hell’s Kitchen. But doesn’t it feel like this has lasted a lifetime longer than that? Remember ol’ Fatso? It feels like he left a decade ago, doesn’t it? Sometimes I really miss that fat crapper. (Not really.) Now we are down to [...]

Hey Gasmii, We’re back for the fourth episode of SGTL with only two more to go. That means that the judges, editors and producers have just three hours left to whittle seven model wannabes down to one all-encompassing, beautiful, poised, and above all relatable Wilhelmina Model. But, this is the ninja production team from hell. [...]

Antonio Sabato Junior wants you to STOP watching this show. Celebrity Circus, you’re like the ultimate cockroach. You resist radiation, survive FOX’s attempts to kill you by way of lukewarm ratings, and thrive despite Joey Fatone’s penchant for dressing like a total assclown. May you be plagued by a thousand violin-playing midgets on flaming tricycles [...]

Here it is, my friends, the Celebracadraba finale! I’m not sure yet if I’ll miss the show, but you know what I will miss? Celebracapuns.

“Who’s taking me home first?” Welcome to DeAnna’s journey across America, also known as the Hometown Dates! Tonight The Bachelorette crisscrosses the fruited plain to meet the families of her potential one and only. And what grand insights will the families provide? Join me as we get down to it!

Prepare to Die! Hollah dance fans – it’s elimination night and time to crush some dreams and make some memories! It’s… So You Think You Can Dance! I know this is late – but didn’t want you to miss out on it – you’ll have this Wednesday’s soon! The night starts off with a KICK [...]

Welcome to week two of the competition! Many of you felt no remorse for the axing of Jaime and Rayven last time – this show is cut-throat – it’s wicked…it’s passionate…it’s… So You Think You Can Dance! Our lovely Cat comes out and runs the onstage gauntlet that is our top 18. She then introduces [...]

This week on Living Lohan, Mike kills the dogs, Nina becomes a Stepford Wife with no opinions of her own, and Nanahan tells Dina to kiss her grits. Don’t bite the Nanahan that feeds you, biatch!

This week on Hell’s Kitchen, not only did someone start the weekly kitchen fire, but this time Chef Yumsay was burned by it. Time for yet another week of watching donkeys try to cook… “If by ‘Don’t burn me,’ you really mean ‘Burn me more.’ Then I’ve got this thing in the bag!”

Neurotic crazies come and go, but Bravo sanctioned neurotic crazies are worth keeping around: Obsessive compulsive real estate extraordinare Jeff Lewis is back for another round of slamming bricks, tearing walls, and breaking hearts in season 2 of Flipping Out. How the ante will be raised is all a mystery as of now, but at [...]

Well gasmii, we’ve gotten down to our last three contestants on A SHOT AT LOVE II WITH TILA TEQUILA – Bo, Kristy, and Brittany. Now that it’s so close to the end, Tila’s really going to need to do some deep thinking. After all, she’s had her heart broken once and if she chooses the [...]

Occasionally, in the world of Reality TV, something happens that is soooo real there is no way for the producers to spin it or change it. I’m talking about things like the Joey’s recent, drunken, bi-polar, homicidal meltdown on the Real World Hollywood or Pumpkin’s famous spitwad. While these events make great Reality TV, they [...]

Gasmii, I’m going to be completely honest here. This round of Celebracadabra is like a clip show but less good. They’re torturing us by stretching out the final two’s big ten-minute performance, but I’m hoping it’ll work to our advantage. Maybe their plane will crash on the way to Las Vegas! Don’t ever lose hope.

This week on Top Chef, Daddy Tom’s face says it all: “Wake me up if something interesting happens…”

Last week, we learned there just isn’t enough room for two Cassies on Legally Blonde The Musical: The Search for Elle Woods. And so Cassie O. was sent packing. Henceforth Cassie S. will be known simply as Cassie. But can she also be known as Elle Woods? She certainly thinks so, but none of the [...]

This week on the Real World Hollywood, we get two new roommates, and we find out how important and famous the current roommates really are. We have many cameos from Real Worlders past, but you’ll have to keep reading to see who. I don’t want to ruin it for you. It’s that huge. It’s not [...]

DeAnna begins to feel trapped… Well beloved readers, it’s getting down to the wire. This season of The Bachelorette seems to have flown by because after tonight we are down to the final four! But first we have to make a visit to Palm Springs because DeAnna needs a little desert air to figure out [...]

I know you have been waiting with bated breath for this recap, so without further adieu… If only I could.