POSTS TAGGED: funny

We’re headed back to New York with the bitches this week. The summer season in The Hamptons is over and it’s time for everyone to decamp to their respective cubbyholes in the New York skyline, teach a class at The Learning Annex and cause scenes at fashionable events.

OK, so I get asked to be a recapper and I am thrilled and I ask if there are any rules. Flipit tells me no penises. What? I have to review a show with men in very tight pants and I can’t use the word ‘penis’?! Oh, the cruel irony! Surely there will be a [...]

“What city are we in again?” Welcome back to Jessica Simpson’s The Price of Beauty! Tonight we have our second leg of this race around the world – oops, wrong show – this journey into enlightenment, and we are headed for Paris, France, where thin is in! Incidentally, this episode is sponsored by Wendy’s on [...]

Tom Shayes may have taken one step closer to his fateful demise, but Tate Donovan has a long and lengthy career ahead of him … behind the camera. Donovan, who plays our beloved and much-beleaguered attorney Tom Shayes, traded in his acting hat this week for a directorial one, and while it wasn’t the best [...]

Tonight is the Usher challenge on America’s Best Dance Crew. I honestly would never have said that I am an Usher fan, but given the way this episode turned out, I sure like him a whole lot now. Of course, finding this picture didn’t hurt either!! 

We open this episode of Ugly Betty in Justin’s acting class with Carol Kane as his teacher. J’adore her from Scrooged where as the Ghost of Christmas Present she hit Bill Murray’s character with a toaster. Just like they do at the bank when you open an account. This is your aunt giving you the [...]

Last week we all learned the Private Dicks are more prickish than dickish (just ask Team Zzzz), Team Big Bro has probably used all the “lucky breaks” they’ve had coming to them and finally, we should all be thankful that none of these people had a chance to fight against the Germans. Why? Because if [...]

Well, here we go again Gasmii. I just want to clarify one quick thing regarding my attitude toward our resident Cliche. I realize that for many people, depression is a real problem and it can be hard to get motivated. However, my problem with her is not the lack of ambition. Hell, I graduated from [...]

Fran and Berry at your service for another episode of Tool Academy 3. Wow, Berry and I cannot believe that there are only four tools left! After this week, there will only be three! Now we know what it’s like when your child is a senior in high school, and he’s about to go off [...]

So far, High Society has clutched the title of least watched premiere in CW history from Mischa Barton’s death grip. It has also been described by the one other person I know watching it as “the absolute worst TV show ever filmed”. In other words…success!

On tonight’s Models of the Runway, the ladies go out drinking. And yes, they even waste that opportunity for excitement. Maybe next season they need to think about casting some of those crazy ass bitches from Tyra’s show.   I would pay good money to see Heidi’s face if this wack job showed up to [...]

It’s time for the reunion show y’all! As usual it is being hosted by Perez Hilton, who by the way is starting to look like a cockatoo with that hair. So for future reference I shall be calling him Cockatop. Let’s go see what craziness Cockatop can bring out on the Bad Girls Club Reunion! [...]

What’s up, people? You know how Cameltoe always ends each episode this season with her silly little tagline, “Hair is impotent“? Well, we all know she’s really trying to say “important” but the letter R just isn’t her friend. Anyhow, on tonight’s episode of Shear Genius we’re going to be reminded once again that the [...]

Labor Day seems like a long way off at the moment but let’s relive last year’s with the NYC bitches, eh? Grab your old checkered tablecloth with the stains from queer Tony’s pitcher of purple hooters and throw down mom’s best chinette plates. Load them up with equally heaping helpings of BBQ pork and booze [...]

OK kids, there’s no time to dilly-dally. Let’s get this 90210 recap started! GO!

Hi Gasmi, Waffleboy here filling in for Flipit who is taking a much deserved vacation south of the border, that hopefully is featuring plenty of beach time, good food, fun, and maybe a telenovela recap or two. Anyway, you’re stuck with me for this recap, and if you keep making that face, it’s going to [...]

Nothing can compare to last week’s amazing episode of Damages, but this week’s installment was still a treat! Maybe it was the luck of the Irish, (St. Patrick’s Day is this week) but everyone seemed to come out a winner, especially the viewers, who got their pot of gold at the end of the rainbow [...]

Greetings, beloved readers! I’m so excited to be recapping a brand new show! No more fluff for me this time around, thank you very much. Today we embark on an existential journey of epic proportions together. A journey that will take us to the very depths of the human soul. For this purpose we need [...]

Sober House. Where people go when they like to do drugs, drink their damn brains into shapeless ice cream cakes and sex it up with anyone who asks, to learn how to talk like Mack, be the bore at parties and say no to their fifth blow job of the night. Never again will they [...]

We open this week’s Ugly Betty with Hilda, Justin, and Betty all brushing their teeth together because God forbid they should wait 90 seconds for someone to finish. And where does Hilda need to be that she couldn’t wait longer? Betty is wearing an unfortunate purple sequined beret (seriously?) that luckily both Justin and Hilda [...]

Welcome to High Society, where a Park Avenue princess gives it all up for every Z-lister’s dream, a reality show on the CW. And who doesn’t love a good downward spiral? Doing this reality show is the equivalent of hurling yourself off that bridge behind you, but hey, live and let live.

Today on Tool Academy: fake weddings and fake wedding dresses, grocery store antics and the dreaded………. lookin’ like a tool with yo tomato on the ground Roll out the sh*t stained aisle runner, let’s get fake tool married!

It’s back to back today! A Tool Academy Double Feature. There was no new Tool Academy last week, maybe because there can only be one “Academy” show on in a day or people’s DVR’s go crazy. Although I would like to see someone who thought they were taping the Oscars and got Tool Academy. “Hmmm..that [...]

Well Gasmii, it appears we are heading into the home stretch of this season. Try to contain your excitement. And by “excitement,” I mean “sighs of relief.” Previously: Cliche fulfilled her dream of singing one of her emo songs in front of a crowd bigger than the one at open-mic night. After that, though, MTV [...]

This week on Lost, Richard loses his will to live, Ben and Ilana bond, Sun wonders where Jin got to, and Alex gets into Yale.

Well my dearies, it’s time to say goodbye to the skanks of summer. Well at least the ones on Bad Girls Club. Let’s jump right in and see if anything good happens before the reunion show! Too bad the bang didn’t involve a gun.

The news on American Idol was pretty shocking this week. Shocking because I can’t believe any of us actually cared! BUT WE DID DAMMIT! There’s lots of angry tears and a distraught homeless woman waiting for us, so let’s jump in! Does anyone have a map? Cuz my ass is lost.

Tonight on Project Runway, all of Earth’s elements are polluted. So recycle, or something. Some of these designs are so bad they’ll put hair on your chest.

Hello again hairgomaniacs! I know that I have been bitching a lot about how this show has taken a steep swirl into the toilet because of the crappy hosting (and speaking) abilities of Cameltoe, and that none of the guest judges have been remotely famous (or interesting) to anyone outside of the hair industry, and [...]

Remember 2009, the last time anyone cared about new episodes of 90210? JK, Gasmii. No one ever cared about new episodes of 90210. Ah, what the hell, I got 2 afternoons to kill. Let’s re-visit the Hills of Beverly. Weekdays on SOAPnet!

This week’s Kell on Earth gives us more empowerment in the form of being alternatively bitchy, overworked and overwhelmed. And under-appreciated. Also, Kelly markets her book a lot and somebody actually cries outside! I don’t care what country you’re in. This shirt is no ok.

In what was arguably the best episode of the season, Damages put the Tobin case on the backburner this week, and got back to doing what it does best – reveling in the dark, twisted relationship between Ellen Parsons and her mentor-cum-rival, Patty Hewes. The formidable foes spent the majority of the episode in a [...]

Happy Post-Oscars, everyone! Could you all believe how bad the hair was at this year’s show? I don’t know if it was the rain, or if Sarah Jessica Parker was trying to look all freshly-fucked on purpose to combat those nasty rumors about her and Matthew Broderick’s marriage being on the rocks, but Tabatha would [...]

This week on Fantasia For Real: Something exciting kind of actually happens! We finally meet the waste of DNA that is responsible for siring the Barrino clan! And for giving Fanny the ammunition to write this obvious best seller: Except for when you’re plucked from obscurity, given a record deal and fame and fortune, even [...]

Tonight’s America’s Best Dance Crew is all about Lady GagMe. In case you haven’t yet guessed, GagMe makes me want to puke. Going into this challenge I was sure I’d be ready to stick ice picks in my ears before we were even halfway through. But I have to admit, the dancing distracted me from [...]

This week on Lost, Sayid goes on a killing spree in not just one but TWO dimensions, Kate and Claire are reunited and it should technically feel so good but doesn’t at all, and Smokey gathers his army.

Previously on the Real World: Pandrew has mysterious secret pain that I’m starting to think we’ll never get to the bottom of. Emily rejected Ty, and he did not take it well, resulting in tension beyond the sexual kind. Somehow, this resulted in Pandrew plunging into the depths of some concrete. We pick up right [...]

Hi Gasmi, you know I think it’s time to pay tribute to the unsung heroes of crap cinema, the screenwriters. Now there have been some screenwriters out there who’ve ginned out some pretty tasty crap over the years, but there is one man who stands above all others in getting bad ideas up on the [...]

With the scripted drama exciting reality show known as The Bachelor over for now, ABC has got a whole lot of time to fill….so you know what that means….it’s time for Dancing With Obscurity!!!! Buy one recapper, get one half price!!!

Tonight on Project Runway, PeeWee Herman comes up with a new character, Emilioth pronounces a bunch of stuff wrong, and a giant bites off Jaysian’s head.