POSTS TAGGED: funny

This week the concept of random picks from a hat gets put to the test. And by put to the test I mean completely thrown out the window. Along with two of the dancers. But more of that later! THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…….dance)! Pretty in Pink 

Won’t you please join us for lunch? What do you get when you mix “Gossip Girl”, “Twilight” and “The Real Housewives of NYC” ? NYC Prep. Join me while we get a glimpse into the super-glamorous life of ghoulish teens who spend more money than we make in a year all the while complaining about [...]

“Even when I’m thinking hard, I’m fun.” I’m trying to think, but it’s hard because there is this constant high pitched squealing in my ear. I see a small brunette girl leaping around the TV screen like an epileptic bunny and I realize… it’s time for another episode of The Bachelorette!

Dear Gasmi, It’s time to take the jump down the rabbit hole and enjoy the mind-bending bizarro world that occurs when the separate realities of five seriously insane housewives collide. Make that six.

Hey Gasmi, how’s it going? How was your week? Do anything exciting, like get attacked by a minotaur, held hostage by vampires, agree to go to Dallas to get vampires to release your friend, go to bible camp where you dreamed about vampires, hung out at a wild Bacchanalian orgy, or maybe just went on [...]

Bienvenidos my cheesy enchiladas, ready to go back to Cancun for a long weekend? I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat!

You are supposed to drop a quarter or a buck (if you’re feeling really generous) into their cup and walk away, not invite them to stay with you! “Dude, can I borrow a cup of sugar AND A LIFE?!”

Dear Gasmi, This is it! Part two of the joyous reunion between the New Joisey housewives. It’s also the longest infommercial evah for a book! I think it’s safe to say the Kevin Maher is doing something nice for Miss Thang…

Bienvenue, my fellow cuisine connoisseurs! You know, so far this show has kinda surprised me with it’s almost total lack of outrageously hugantic ginormous egotistical assclowns, and I was beginning to think that I’d be reduced to making lame jokes about bad hair and croggily-wacked teefs on these pros… until tonight. Now, we can change [...]

Hello Gasmii– Tonight’s episode is cram-packed with the two things we’ve come to expect from Harper’s Island– vicious murders and even more diabolical plotholes. It’s like they realized how stretched-thin the last two shows were and are making up for that by stepping up the output on both bodies and nonsensical behavior. Plus there’s personal [...]

This week on Fashion Show, Eyesack gives someone a poison apple and they fall asleep FOREVAH!!!

Welcome to NYC Prep where the children are not what they seem. NYC Prep is a new show on Bravo about four young women and two young men, all teenagers who are in high school. Five of them go to private school and one is a public school girl. She’ll become obvious as the show [...]

We’re one episode away from finding out who will be crowned the King or Queen of the Jungle and boy am I relieved. I ended up enjoying the show in a weird way and I’ve become attached to Patti’s pigtails, Torrie’s nerdy glasses and Lou’s bare chest. I’m not so attached to the third Mario [...]

“It’s the MOST DRAMATIC TRANSPORTATION IN BACHELORETTE HISTORY.” Well for Pete’s sake, here we go again with The Bachelorette. Is this Groundhog Day? Have I woken up in Punxutawney, Pennsylvania to Sonny and Cher’s “I Got You Babe?”

Yes folks it’s finally here. The day we’ve all been waiting for. Who will be named King or Queen of the Jungle? Let’s wade through the 58 minutes of commercials and rehashing and find out who wins I’m A Celebrity! Get Me Out Of Here! Wanna spank my monkey?

***True Blood is one of our favorite shows, and we finally found someone fantastic to serve up your recaps. Please welcome our newest Moviegasm contributor over to the recap side! WaffleBoy!! Hey Gasmi, a quick question, do you like vampires? Okay, that’s a dumb question, because of course you do; everybody loves vampires. From the [...]

Buenos dias chiquitas, you’re never going to believe what happened to me! I went to Brooklyn for some sex, drinks and fighting…and I fell asleep. I think a whole season of the Real World might have happened, but I napped through it. All I know is, I woke up in Mexico! First day here, and [...]

I had JUST sworn off fast food Gasmi. I’m on a diet goddammit!! And then I heard the news: this week New York Goes To Work as a fast food employee. Well, I had to do my research, right? What happened next, well, let’s just say this was the appetizer………  My ass thanks VH1 

This week on Daisy of Love.. Don’t be sick, Gasmii. By now most of you should know not to eat before reading my recaps. Also, at this point in the game the Yack Castle is getting pretty claustrophobic. Which means that it’s a perfect time to shove them all in the kitchen together to whip [...]

I’m back! The demons at Best Buy have been defeated and my computer is fixed. We’re on Day 18 of the celebrities supposedly being in the jungle. I’ve missed Lou, Janice and Sanjaya. But I’ve missed the summer’s sexiest couple most of all. Ebony and Ivory (Ivory comes with matching handcuffs).

This week on Fashion Show, Kenley prays and Satan answers.

Poor Cat, she hates Thursdays so much; she has to say good-bye to another two of her “babies”. The wardrobe people must feel sorry for her because her outfit on Thursday is always much MUCH better than the Wednesday ones. Tonight she’s rocking the Tony Manero look. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance [...]

Welcome to week two of the competition. What will tonight bring? The stakes are high and so are the costume designers. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance……dance)! When does a ruffled maxi-pad dress EVER sound like a good idea? 

Welcome to Round Two, my little culinary cohorts! At the risk of revealing something personal, I’m going to go out on a limb and admit that I’m not a fan of leftovers… something that my BF is constantly reminding me of in his patented Long-Suffering-Voiceâ„¢. In fact, for the first 5 years we were together [...]

To Gasmii It May Concern– The role of Token Minority will henceforth be known as Braids. Alright, let’s cut to the chase. High Tension (2003) is one the scariest, grab-you-by-the-throat thrillers of the decade. Director Alexandre Aja plays the audience like a baby grand, pulling us into the deceptively simple story of two co-eds on [...]

Dear Gasmi: Sadly, I never recovered from my flu. I am in fact dead. I’m also determined to drag my sorry decomposing carcass out of my grave to finish off this season for you. Guilt Free!!

Maria Menounos is given the task of getting to the bottom the Duel 2. Unfortunately, she spends more time talking about things that didn’t happen on the show and about people who aren’t at the reunion. I sat through it anyway (a decent amount of Landon face time didn’t hurt) to bring you all the [...]

What a sad week. Not only are we subjected to more brain damage courtesy of Fox, but it looks as though 12 Pack isn’t packing so much. Maybe all that leopard is some kind of spooky penis camouflage? Here’s hoping.

Well peeps we’re almost there. It’s almost over. Let’s get right into rehashing everything we’ve already seen and then I’ll tell you if anything new actually occurred on I’m A Celebrity! Get Me Out Of Here! Did you wash yo nasty ass hands?

“I had no idea it was going to be this hard!” We open this week’s The Bachelorette with Jillian reminding us how hard that last Rose Ceremony was for her. She is still beside herself with shock to imagine that one or more of the guys may be on TV for selfish purposes, rather than [...]

I’m sure you’ve guessed as much from the title, but I’ll tell ya anyway……this week New York Goes to Work as a clown! Now I know I asked for this last week, but I sort of had second thoughts. I mean, clowns have always creeped me out. Ever since that fucker in the Poltergeist movie. [...]

****Please welcome back TinyElvis with The Duel Finale!! The reunion will be up shortly. Previously on the Duel: Those of you expecting a competition were sadly disappointed when all you got was a Dr. Phil episode. Tori and Brad got un-engaged, re-engaged and, just when you thought you might never see any physical activity again, [...]

Previously on Charm School: Bubbles swam in the air even though Charm School has a pool, Kip and Marcia decided they hated each other, the dolphin squad squeaked at Porno, and Porno got sent home to get some nookie (and I threw up in my mouth a little). Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Charm School. [...]

Tonight’s the first of many sad sad nights. Or angry nights. Maybe happy nights. It all depends on which dancers go home, who you’re voting for, and what atrocity Cat is wearing. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…..dance)! This dress wouldn’t be bad if it wasn’t the color of POOP. 

Dear Gasmi, After a week of nursing my son through the flu, I caught it. I’m writing this recap under the influence of a crapload of Nyquil mixed with a medicinal hot toddy. Woohoo!!! I’m apologizing in advance for any major typos. It’s hard to keep track of the keyboard when the room is spinning. [...]

♫♪ Tonight’s the night we’ll make hiiiiistoooorrrrryyy, Gasmi, you and I. And we’ll watch every dance, and listen to Adam taaaalk. We’ll sway and we’ll swoon and gawk.  â™«  I’m so excited for the first performance show of the season! Let’s see what these dancers have got. THIS.   Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…….dance)! I see [...]

I didn’t even turn to NBC until 8:10 ET becuase I figured they’d be showing clips from the last episode for the first 45 minutes or so. Imagine my surprise when I turned to the show and the action had already started. Damien and Myleene start off the show and Damien can’t even get his [...]

Well, here we are. The finale of Grey’s Anatomy. It has been a rollercoaster of a season. At times I hated Grey’s Anatomy, and then at the end, just as I was ready to break up for good, like the sneaky whore she is, Grey’s roped me right back in. If you had told me [...]

***PopPrincess got busy with a real job, but you are still owed two more recaps! So please welcome your Auditiongasm winner, Tiny Elvis!! Previously on The Duel: Stuff happened that I didn’t see but I’m willing to bet that Landon won something, Rachel didn’t smile, Jenn was annoying, Diem wore pink, and Tori and Brad [...]

Well, hello again foodie fans! My name is J-Mo and the last time we were together it was in the barren, frightening, and almost entirely calorie-free zone known as America’s Next Top Model (a.k.a. TyraWorldâ„¢) so I’m sure you can imagine my excitement when Flipit gave me the green light to work on a series [...]