POSTS TAGGED: funny

Hello Gasmii! If you’ve been watching, and judging by the comments you have, you know most of our Toddlers & Tiaras have been south and west…Pennsylvania is as close as we’ve gotten to New England. But not this week, where the insanity of parading your child around like one of those 25-cent ridey-things (horse, boat, [...]

Howdy peeplets! I’ve had a week off from the Krapdashians and I think I almost missed old Meltyface. Nah, but I did miss making fun of him and the other tards on Keeping Up With The Kardasians. Let’s see what’s up this week.

This week on I Love Money 2, the contestants bring a whole new meaning to the phrase “wailing on the mic.” Or maybe it’s just the literal meaning, but I swear I’ve heard it in the blowjob context a million times on this show!

This week on Lost we get many of our of our favorite D Words: Daddy issues, Dead guys, Dharma Initiative, Drunks, Darth Vader, and Daniel!!

Gasmi, I’m back, and that means it’s time to plunge into the dark enchanted forest of Harper’s Island, that eerie place “37 miles off the coast of Seattle” (just over the Vancouver city limits I have a feeling), for another terrifying hour of psycho-killer bull-pshit. We’re about to be 1/13th closer to solving this mystery. [...]

There is some sort of bullshit going on this week in Hell’s Kitchen. Smells like poo.

OK, so has everyone recovered from last week’s downer yet? Ready to get back to normal, like Cuddy after that baby incident? Fox’s website has already taken off its black armband, so maybe we can move on with our lives too. Let’s find out how the docs are dealing, hmm? Oops, I lied. First let’s [...]

The Cougar exists solely because it can. Seriously. In the opening sequence the announcer says that if men can date outside of the boundaries of reality, so can women. This episode we’ll meet our cougar, our host, 20 single pubescent boys and one kick ass ukulele. Oh. It’s just a guitar.

A family of criminals terrorizes New York while each character continues dealing with the fallout of Kowalski’s death.

   Greetings, Gasmii! 24 throws us all for a loop this week, and I for one throw my hands in the air in confusion. I have no frickin’ clue what’s going on anymore! Let’s try and make some sense of it all…after the JUMP!

Dear Gasmi, Have you ever been invited to one of those parties where you’re expected to buy some really embarrassing lingerie, and you don’t realize it until you get there? That’s pretty much this week’s episode. Seriously, if it wasn’t bolted down chances are that one of the hausenfrau was selling it. Well, somebody’s got [...]

Spoiler! It’s that most glorious time of the week again. Time for Celebrity Apprentice! This week we get an overdose of Brande Roderick and Brian McKnight catches up on some much-needed sleep. To Manhattan!

Dear Gasmii, This is our final week with our little darlings and the Little Miss Perfect pageant. It has been a wild and wacky adventure as we’ve watched Moms and their daughters dress themselves up and parade around the stage of various hotel conference rooms. I’ll miss our weekly visits, but like any good thing, [...]

Tonight on American Idol, Church Lady gets chopped to bits and Krispy Twink is almost raped before being saved by Bruce Willis.

Heck yeah! It’s the episode of 90210 we’ve been been waiting for…and by “we” I mean me and Tori Spelling’s checkbook. Bear with me Gasmii. There’s a lot of filler (Naomi, Liam, Ethan, Dixon, Harry and Becky) and nonsense (Annie). Luckily, they did give us enough good stuff (Donna and Kelly) to quench our thirst [...]

This week on Making the Band, the same fight that has been taking place all season continues to take place. And Dawn just bugs the hell out of me.

“Pageants can be very addictive. Once you start winning, there’s no turning back,” says one mother on this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras. Just like meth! We begin this episode deep in the heart of one of my favorite states, TEXAS! Hey, any place that has such a high regard for guns and the death [...]

On tonight’s episode of The Hills, Stephanie gives the worst interview of all time (and yes, that’s counting Heidi’s interview at Fit’Em), LC proves she actually DOES have the capacity to forgive (or the devilish capacity to set someone up for utter failure), and Heidi does something we never thought she’d do. Unfortunately, it doesn’t [...]

Topher uncovers a spy, one character shoots another character, there is sword fight, someone gets “boxed,” and the show gets all Kurosawa on your asses.

Make me a supertease This week on Bravo’s MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL, the models do a weird, netty underwater shoot. Salome overcomes her fear of the water (thanks, Mennonite parents!) and Branden gets cockier than ever when faced with not having the best photo. The go-see is for People’s Revolution, and Salome is also stifling [...]

¡Buenos Nachos, mijas y mijos! Can you believe we’re halfway done with this cycle already? If you’ve been actually watching the show, I’m sure you’ve had a few moments here and there where you had to wonder to yourself “What in the blue fuck just happened? That shit made no sense!” (and like me, you [...]

The week on Lost, Widmore tells some dead baby jokes, Locke follows his newly attained internal GPS, Desmond goes SMASH, and Ben goes for a visit in the Temple of Doom.

This week on I Love Money 2, Buckwild and Saaphyri prove that reality contestants should totally receive Emmy nominations. Who can ham it up better than those bitches?

Dear Gasmi, Like a good little Easter Bunny, Bravo delivered a special holiday treat this week. The preview for the Housewives of New Jersey. Woohoo!! These women are in a class all their own. There’s a few things I want you to take care for me. What should I call them; problems! I Want you [...]

****Please welcome your newest recapper, Natalie D with Gossip Girl! This week on Gossip Girl, Jenny prefers salty chili over sweet 16, Nate and Vanessa swap partners, and Blair is still a bitch.

So we’re down to the final six in Hell’s Kitchen. What will this week bring us? Incredible teamwork? Amazing food? Or incompetence and whining?  Join me after the jump to find out. It’s a hot time in Hell tonight.

Hello there my sweeties. Here I am again to torture you with another episode of the Krappers. I swear this hurts me more than it does you so let’s get right to Keeping Up With The Kardashians!

Dear Gasmi, This week Bravo takes a step toward becoming a fabulous new kind of QVC channel. Only $29.99 if you call in the next ten minutes, and we’ll throw the vase in for free. I’m definitely recommending lots of alcohol for this episode. It’s a lot more fun to watch people behaving badly, when [...]

Welcome back to the Real World Reunion! Maria Menounous is our host, because she’s a huge fan she tells us. Oh, nice that someone is. Or was at least paid enough to say it convincingly. She intros the roomies. Nothing new to report, except Sarah has a really cute new haircut with bangs, and Baya’s [...]

   Lay your money down, Gasmii! It’s the 17th hour of 24 Season 7 and things are about to get bohemian up on our asses! We’re talking drugs, sex, manipulation, and deals with the devil Hodges! It’s all recapped for you…follow the tambourine after the JUMP!

Welcome back all you Diva-Dolls (and for you guys, I guess, Divo-Action-Figures)! Now that my ears have stopped ringing from all the screaming that went on in last week’s episode, I wonder if this week will find the girls being a little more tolerant of one another’s (admittedly lackluster) personalities? I think I will consult [...]

Forward to 65 people or you don’t know what funny is. This week on Celebrity Apprentice we learn that there is not an original idea to be found anywhere in Trump Tower. We also learn that “viral” is apparently synonymous with “midget.” Oh also, The Donald pretends to take a moral stand. Join me, won’t [...]

Let’s just get this out of the way first: I was totally caught off guard by this episode of House. No spoilers were out there. Not even the typical “This week, Someone Dies! Really! We Swear! SO UNEXPECTED!” It’s not even sweeps! It took guts to pull that off. Now Kal Penn is dead and [...]

It’s the season finale of Damages, and all mysteries will be revealed… We finally learn who shot J.R.! (It was ELLEN, in the broom closet, with the revolver.)

Normally when I write my recaps of Making the Band, I watch it online as I type along. And usually the online running time — sans commercials — is somewhere between 43 and 47 minutes. But this week it registered at a mere 38 minutes. Perhaps MTV heard my plea of shortening the show to [...]

Ahoy hoy Gasmii! Welcome back for another action-packed, talent-deficient ep of 90210. I have to say, this was the hardest ep to recap to date. Lots of crazy talk. Lots of quick cuts and edits. It’s almost like the director knew he was a hack and was trying way too hard to seem like he [...]

We’re down to the final 3 tonight; Danger, Unique and Cocktail. Unfortunately Ray is saddened by Chardonnay’s departure and mourns the fact that he just sent her home. First of all, she’s probably in the bedroom packing her clothes so get over it. Secondly, can we just never speak of that red bra wearing tranny [...]

Tink flys down from Heaven and tells us that the contestants have a dream, and “the life of that dream” is in our hands. CRUUUUUUUNCH! YAYYYYYY. Dream killing time! That’s power! And THIS. Is American Idol! This is the same camera trick Tom Cruise used in War of the Worlds to look taller than Dakota [...]

Happy spring, my young chickies! Did you spend a long, bitterly cold winter missing the vicarious sunshine of Los Angeles, Lauren Conrad and her comrades? Neither did I. More importantly, did you miss me? Luckily, this week’s double-episode season premiere featured partial makeups, partial breakups, and an inexplicable overabundance of blow-up doll impressions by our [...]

First of all, I apologize for the delay in last week’s I Love Money 2 recap! In the vein of both VH1 and being a North Carolinian, I’ve spent the last two weeks in an NCAA-induced haze. I’m fairly sure that’s why the I Love Money cast is always so disoriented; basketball, never booze! In [...]