POSTS TAGGED: hilarious

Tonight on Project Runway, it’s the Mila/Jaysian smackdown! Who will color block? Who will cry and wear giant scarves? Who will date a gay guy? And what the hell is going on with Tim Gunn’s balls? The word is “the”. Go!

Hey everybody, guess what? This is my hundredth recap for TVGasm! I know, right? It’s hard to believe I’ve dedicated almost two years of my life to writing mini-novellas about hairstylists and designers and models and chefs and bisexual famewhores. Time flies when you’re being a big fat bitchkitty, I guess. Seriously, though, this is [...]

Tonight on American Idol: two people go home, Ham hams it up, and Brooke White is still terrible. Aw crazy white lady. I know you’re hungry. We are too.

Rule #1 of the Challenge: Never, ever, under any circumstances, underestimate Landon. Yes, even if those circumstance include a partner who was the last girl in the draft pick and spent the night before having a slimy peanut butter girl fight with Ev that was every bit as disgusting as it sounds. Where was I? [...]

This week on 90210, relationships crumble, friendships blossom and Silver took the girls out for a spin. Annie remains a carpenter’s dream. Speaking of… Have you guys seen the pics of Shenae in Dirrty Glam magazine?

Tonight on American Idol, Tink is a sloppy drunk, Katie tells off Skara, and Adam Hambert singlehandedly keeps the cosmetics industry afloat. If the AI prize was a Mary Kay convertible I might have tried harder to win.

Hey ‘Gasmii hair-hoppers! How are you all doing tonight? Still in shock over the Finale? Glad we never have to hear Camila Alves speak again? Curious (like WaffleBoy) what Matt and Janine spent their dollar on? Well, I know we had basically put this season of Shear Genius to bed, but there was no way [...]

Welcome back to Fly Girls, otherwise known as a half-hour infomercial for Virgin America.

Our beloved Ugly Betty is back at her old desk helping out Daniel since Amanda quit to be a stylist – AS IF a Features Editor (ASSOCIATE Features Editor) would ever do that. Backwards is not the way to go, Betty. They’re called temps, look into it. Is that a ring or is Betty’s absorbed [...]

Attack Olivia, get clubbed with a candlestick. Simple as that. Oh. It’s a stand-alone episode. That’s kind of disappointing. Not that Fringe hasn’t had some very good stand-alones, but the strength of this show lies in the cool overarching plot — William Bell and the parallel universe, and Walter’s fragmented memories of his past misdeeds. [...]

This week on High Society things are pretty dull. But this fellow gets the pleasure of officially not taking her crap and kicking Vile Jules Kirby out of his hotel. Ummm…I don’t think it’s the guy with the coke.

Hey y’all foodie fans! Remember how the last time we were all watching Top Chef it was Christmastime, and we were all super-depressed because our sweet and cuddly Kevin “DirtyBear” Gillespie didn’t win and that blade-nosed cocky assfuck Michael “Li’l Volt” Voltaggio did, and we all ate ourselves into a coma on pork ribs and [...]

Hey Gasmii, oh man, oh man, do we have a crap movie to talk about this time. We’ve got more then anyone has a right to ask for when it comes to crap. We’ve got a movie directed by the guy whose wikipedia page says he pretty much trashed Gina Davis’s movie career all by [...]

Oh Gasmii, things are cooking over in the V timeslot. FBI Mom decides to hide her child in a remote corner of the world that most people couldn’t even find on a map, Connecticut. Anna decides to get crazy evil. We find out the V’s have an unhealthy attachment to polyester, and Georgie saves the [...]

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Hair-Worldâ„¢ this one last time. A couple of weeks ago I found a pair of testicles hanging in my closet, put them on, and sent an email to Brig Van Osten to alert her to TVGasm.com, to explain my role here as Shear Genius Shit Talker, and the fact [...]

Tonight on Project Runway, Emilioth was gross, Mila was angry, and we were robbed of one of the best “Meet My Mom” sequences in PR history. Oh yeah. And Cynthia Rowley stopped by to show off her new permanently surprised look.

Tonight on American Idol Results, Skara gets an add on, Michael Jackson is ripped off, and Rihanna fires someone. So You Think You Can Tippy Toe

Tonight on Jessica Simpson’s The Price of Beauty there are no day spas! Apparently facials are not a popular pastime on the Ugandan plain. Just ask these guys.

Tom opens by telling us that last week Dancing With the Stars was the most watched show in America! Man, we’re a pathetic lot, aren’t we? Then we go LIIIIVE! and Brooke tells us that last week we made Dancing With the Stars the most…..uh, yeah, Tom already said that, Brooke. Apparently, even the writers [...]

This week on 90210, the writers seem to be pulling storylines out of their stinky asses. And for those of you into that sort of thing, there’s more girl on girl action. Still no tongue. I guess we know why Britney’s kiss got all the coverage.

Tonight on American Idol, kilts, dead elephants and some residuals for Yoko.

This week on High Society, Tinsley has a lot to take. There’s James Micheal Joseph Methcrack who’s trying to dress her in monkey hair for the opera, and Devorah Rose Trachtenberg who’s trying to stalk her, be her, ruin her and take credit for her hairdo all at the same time. I made you.

Everybody loves zeppelins! It’s 1985: Reagan is sworn in for a second term, Gorbachev becomes the leader of the Soviet Union, Back to the Future is the top-grossing movie in theaters, David Lee Roth leaves Van Halen, and at the U.S. Army Research Center in Manhattan, a slightly younger-looking Walter Bishop wears a slightly different [...]

The moment we’ve all been waiting for since we were born! The Tool Academy 3 Graduation! According to DirectTV “On graduation day, one Tool will walk away with $100,000.” Wait, after they graduate they are still tools? Then what’s the point? Shouldn’t it be “One tool walks away sad and poor while another evolves into [...]

Hey there Gasmii, well the holidays, Olympics, and March are over, so it’s time to get back in touch with over favorite space lizards and the people who fight them, on V. It’s been four months, so I bet you’re seriously jonesing for evil lizard shenanigans and plucky human resistancing, huh? Look, please say yes, [...]

When we last left the Ugly Betty, Betty got her braces off, Justin was way gay (finally and thank goodness), and everyone lived in a world without zinc. This episode, Bobby comes on too strong, Hilda’s a Bridezilla, and Justin continues to be way gay. Bobby walks into Casa de Mauve Bridesmaid Dresses and sneaks [...]

We have come to the season finale of Kell on Earth. What’s on tap for today? Well, Kelly shoots an internet movie on the NYC streets and her staff plans a surprise party for her. I fell asleep each of the three times I tried watching this. How can someone with such an interesting life [...]

Hey everybody, welcome back. You know, as a professional of any kind, whether it’s hairstyling, singing or drag-queen-backup-dancing, things don’t always go exactly the way you’ve planned. Sometimes you just have to roll with the unexpected changes that come your way and do the best you can to suppress the urge to throttle the people [...]

This week on America’s Next Top Model, the whiniest, bitchiest and craziest take center stage while an interesting photoshoot balances out a lame challenge. “Daphne suggested pink while Maria thought taupe would be best. I ultimately agreed with Lauren that I should go with purple eyeshadow, and now everyone else is pissed. Ugh, it’s so [...]

Welcome back everyone! Last week had us watching the “slower” teams fall apart and some really frustrating challenges. Personally, I blame the French. You know why? Because I gained 30lbs over the last couple of years eating nothing but Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast in protest of the French. SOMEONE had to do it. I’m [...]

So what we shall be doing here is I will try my best to capture the best moments from both shows before my Mom frees herself and this way I can do justice to a show that has turned out to be quite entertaining. And believe me, even though I have low expectations as well [...]

Tonight on Project Runway, the producers celebrate Easter by bringing a hero back to life! No, not Jessica Alba. She never died. She’s here though.

Tonight on American Idol, Webster dances like a girl, Diddy brings aerobics back, and the Clash of the Titans pours some cheese all over the stage. We have a winna!

Tonight on American Idol, white people use Soul as a rest stop.

Previously on the Real World: Douche sucks at singing in addition to sucking at life in general. Mike just didn’t know how to quit Tanner, which led to a touching mother-son moment. No, not like that. Get your minds out of the gutter, you filthy people. So Douche wanders around town with one of his [...]

Oy. We open this episode of Ugly Betty with Betty sleeping on the sofa at home (because why now?), waking up, rubbing her braces and announcing today is the last day with them. Well, I can’t blame her for her excitement, but I can blame her for that nasty bed head. It’s Ricky Martin calling [...]

This week on High Society, it’s enough to drive Tinsley to drink. And you know what that means – we’re just a stone’s throw away from pill popping. How badly do you want Season 2?

On tonight’s Models of the Runway, Valeria has a dilemma, the models become photographers for the day, and Jonathan is an asshole. Portrait of a Jackass. 

Welcome to Fly Girls! Unlike every other reality show out there that’s here to tell you that things aren’t as fabulous as they seem, these honeys are out to prove that fetching beers for people in shorts and flip flops when they ring the little bell is the height of glamour. Yeah, we’re glamorous. Wanna [...]

Good evening everyone (and by “everyone”, I mean the six of you left watching this show) and welcome. It’s a special evening here at Casa J-Mo, for I was the lucky recipient of both a raise and a hand-job today (not from the same person, though) and I’ve been celebrating so I am stuffed full [...]