POSTS TAGGED: hilarious

Tonight on Project Runway, PeeWee Herman comes up with a new character, Emilioth pronounces a bunch of stuff wrong, and a giant bites off Jaysian’s head.

Just one, Jake. This isn’t Big Love. Tonight is Big Decision night on The Bachelor! We’re still in St. Lucia and Jake is taking this opportunity to walk along the beach tossing pebbles into the water and pondering on how he’s fallen so in love with two completely different women.

Tonight on American Idol, Skara says things that I knida agree with two times, most of the girls blow chunks, and OrganiJoplin lives!! It’s nights like this you wonder how this girl didn’t get on the show.

Hello Gasmi! We are back after last weeks cheesy clip show. Did you guys watch? Let’s go see what’s happening on Bad Girls Club! It’s the return of Midget! And whatsherface.

Tonight on American Idol, there is a lot of sitting on stools. The favorites fall hard, and the weaker contestants rise to the top. And lots of guys do pushups. Yes, Skara. WE CAN HEAR YOU.

Previously on The Real World: Douche made our ears bleed and cheated on his girlfriend. Pandrew was continuously unable to get past spooning. Ebony and Ivory just couldn’t seem to live in harmony. This week, MTV would like to teach us about morals: … can get you laid even if you’re wearing a panda hat. [...]

On tonight’s America’s Best Dance Crew, we get the Music Video Challenge. In seasons past this has been all about the crews bringing the flavor (and some moves) from their assigned video and combining it with their own style. This year, they’ve decided to show the “signature dance sequence” on a video screen behind the [...]

Jordan tells us this week’s episode is about modesty and insecurities. Guess which one the Tools have never heard of? Also, there will be long lost secrets, like Dopey Tool’s hatred for easels. It all leads to a Tool Academy meltdown and you can tell it’s for real because there are camera men and lights [...]

Simpsons did it, Russell.

Tonight, America makes some harebrained decisions and Kris comes back to remind us that he wasn’t second place on American Idol. This….is American Idol Results!!!!! Not lookin’ good for Aloha.

Oh, Gasmii, we have much to discuss. I am going to write up a quick recap of last week’s episode that, due to unforseen circumstances, is much later than it should be. (Unforseen circumstances = me getting in a car accident and being okay physically, thankfully, but if any of you have dealt with this [...]

Hello again friends! You know, every time I go to my local salon these days I always ask the stylist whose chair I land in if they watch reality TV, and in particular if they are fans of Shear Genius. If they clutch their chest, gasp and start in on how fucked up last night’s [...]

The producers are dead set on a girl winning this season of American Idol, so each one of them has to be physically fit and at least semi cute. The guys are set up to lose, so they can be as fug as they need to be. Thankfully for us, this means we’ll at least [...]

Tonight, American Idol is back with performance shows!! The 12 girls take the stage and mostly suck butt. But at least they’re thin!! Time to make the donuts.

Hello my lovies! I’ve been a little under the weather and my doc suggested I stay away from anything that could induce vomiting so I had to hold off on seeing Batshit for several days. I am much better now so let’s take a peek inside Bad Girls Club!

Yo Yo Yo!! Are you ready for the competition to FINALLY begin? On tonight’s America’s Best Dance Crew the crews show us their stuff (again), we are still stuck in a regional format (blech), and Omarion is still a useless dumbass (unsurprisingly). I hate you AND your doofy sweater. 

OMG, y’all! Monday’s special hour-long episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was so outrageous and insane that I don’t even need to insert my own snark. I could just transcribe it directly, and it would still be crazy for you guys to read. Seriously, it was nutso. And if you didn’t think Scott was [...]

Welcome back, friends! I’m so glad you’ve rejoined me, because I want to tell you about an Incident that happened to me this week. I was driving home from work, minding my own business, and lip-synching flawlessly to SWV’s “Right Here/Human Nature” as I zipped along through traffic. Eventually I noticed a car keeping pace [...]

Hi, Gasmii! Did you all have a nice Valentine’s Day? Mine was great- two hockey games in two days. Unfortunately, I think I picked up a bug in Detroit, so now I’m loaded on garlic and vitamin C instead of Syrah. I got Mr. McSlore a neon Guiness sign for the basement bar and I [...]

Tonight on Project Runway, Nina eats babies, designers act like little girls about working with little girls, and we witness the return of an old friend!

Welcome back to The Bachelor! Here we are in St. Lucia, which, just like San Francisco, is the perfect place to fall in love according to Jake. He goes over who he’s got left with us. “I brought my Big Boy outfit to the tropics!”

Hello, all! I know, I know, you thought I forgot about you, right? Never. I intend to see this season through to the bitter end. Anyone else come down with a lethal case of Olympic fever? I don’t know how it happens, but for 2 weeks every other year Bob Costas becomes my lifeline and [...]

Yes, Gasmii, Ugly Betty has been cancelled but what difference does it make since we are all going to die penniless anyway, right Sallie Mae? I’m so bummed because the writing has been really good lately and the show has made me laugh out loud more this season than in the previous one – dammit! [...]

***Today is now NEWBIE DAY!! Welcome another two recappers to the family: Fran and Berry!! We’ve seen Tool Academy Season 1: A Tool Hope. We’ve seen Tool Academy 2: Temple of Tool. Now thanks to Bret Michaels leaving to pursue legitimate reality TV on NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice, VH1 had a little extra petty cash. So [...]

This week’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians is embarrassing for everyone involved. But especially Khloe. Need I say more?

Hello friends. Let’s talk for a minute about that friend you have (and yes, of course behind her back… duh, it’s called manners)… you know the one I mean, she is tall, thin, good-looking, has a great job, awesome wardrobe, cool car, sweet house, plenty of cash, a smokin’-hot body and is usually surrounded by [...]

Last night, the Olympics were on. Chooch caught the opening ceremony for us, so come on in!

Oh Gasmi, are you sitting down? Of course you are, you reading this on a computer, besides with this country’s obesity rate, you probably get winded if you have to support all that weight for more then five minutes at a time. Hey, don’t feel bad, if we ever meet at the grocery store we [...]

On tonight’s Models Of The Runway, Witchie Poo continues to be annoying, the girls get to do a photo shoot at Marie Claire, and I realize I haven’t yet mentioned Heidi’s atrocious opening credits outfit.   But did I really need to? 

What’s up Gasmi?! bBitz here – I usually recap “Amazing Race” and am stepping in for an episode of the juggernaut that made Paula Abdul and consequently broke Paula Abdul… “AMERICAN IDOL”!!! (Oooh oh oooh oh oooh!) And because I play so well with others, I was asked to recap the infamous “Group Day” episode! [...]

Papa Wiener realizes his princess is home… with a new car. Oh boy, here we are at The Bachelor Hometown Dates, which Jake seems to think will serve as a crystal ball into each girl’s soul and her relationship intentions. In reality, we will be visiting places which may or may not actually be these [...]

This week on Project Runway, more pointing at vajays, less red, and THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE EVAH!! Hint: Not really but ok let’s watch it anyway. Why is it Bible beaters always have lotion on the bedside table? Cuz that’s a sin.

Don’t faint people. I really did get this recap done in a timely manner. You see miracles do happen! Let’s see what’s up with the girls of Bad Girls Club!

On this week’s show Jennifer is called in by an old professor to pose as his female romance novel writing female alter ego. Of course, she accepts and Jonathan comes along as her secretary. But things can never go simply for our self-made millionaire and his gorgeous wife, so naturally they run into a psycho.  [...]

Hello my peeplets! It’s time for another action packed adventure through the jungle that is known as Bad Girls Club so lets get to it!

Hello hair hoppers! My name is J-Mo, I am a Top Chef fan, and once upon a time I did a Google search on the words “Lisa”, “Fernandes” and “bitch”. One of the results that was kicked back to me was housed inside a recap on this very site (TVGasm.com) written by the fabulous LoLo [...]

This week on Lost, people we thought were dead are alive, people we thought were alive are kind of dead, Smokey gets homesick, the Losties check out the Temple of Doom, and we finally land at LAX.

Hello, my dearies!!!  You must have been good little troublemakers this week, because you get two HappyHousewife recaps for the price of one!  Whee!  Tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, American Idol: The Denver Auditions.  I’m super excited for this one, because Denver is a city near and dear to my heart.  It’s where [...]

Hey Gasmi, it’s February, and you know what that means. The weather stinks, and you’re broke from trying to buy your loved ones’ affections over the holidays, all of which means it’s time to start spending some serious time with the glass teat. Now we all have our favorite poisons when it comes to rotting [...]

“Time to leave my heart at Haight-Ashbury.” Hello beloved readers! Since you guys are my bestest cyber friends, I wanted to tell you the big news. I got engaged this week! My bachelorette days are over (almost). My Bachelor days, however, appear to be never ending. We’ve got another doozy tonight! Tonight on The Bachelor [...]