POSTS TAGGED: hilarious

Hey Gasmi, it’s February, and you know what that means. The weather stinks, and you’re broke from trying to buy your loved ones’ affections over the holidays, all of which means it’s time to start spending some serious time with the glass teat. Now we all have our favorite poisons when it comes to rotting [...]

“Time to leave my heart at Haight-Ashbury.” Hello beloved readers! Since you guys are my bestest cyber friends, I wanted to tell you the big news. I got engaged this week! My bachelorette days are over (almost). My Bachelor days, however, appear to be never ending. We’ve got another doozy tonight! Tonight on The Bachelor [...]

Drinking HOT CHOCOLATE in a Real World hot tub? FOR SHAME! First of all, I just want to thank all of you who have been reading and/or commenting so far. You make the time spent trying to decipher Odrama’s screeching or watching Emily/Ty define and undefine their non-relationship worth it. It makes me feel better [...]

This week on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the older sisters fight because one of them feels left out. And the younger sisters fight because one of them feels left out. But not to worry! It’s all tied up within 20 minutes time. Cheesy scene from the opening credits of a 1970s sit-com. Followed by [...]

Yep. It’s Peter and Olivia vs. Nazis. In Brookline, Massachusetts, a team of caterers lift the world’s dullest wedding cake out of a truck parked outside a large, expensive home. The cake is solid white, three tiers, unmarred by anything resembling color or flair or, apart from a few desultory icing twirls, decoration. It’s the [...]

OH MY GAWD you guys!!!!!!!!!!!! This week’s Models of the Runway was SOOOOOOO freaking awesome. So much happened! There was blood, and tears, and sand, and sweat and naked man buttocks…..oh, wait This is Spartacus. Fuck! Don’t get me wrong, this show’s cheesy as hell, but at least it has sweaty naked boys in it. [...]

They’re coming… This week. Laura puts her talons back into Crazy Eyes Farrah Fawcett’s man, and is a fucking bitch. Meanwhile, Brooke has her 25th birthday party in a cement tower far, far away which turns into a drunkfest which turns into a cakefight which turns into Poor-y getting a hard-won shirt ruined. It’s ON!

***Please welcome our newest recapper, Real Black Sheep! On this weeks episode of taking the stage, we meet the new kids, re-unite with our old enemies, and learn that even MTV can’t rig high school talent shows!

Well Gasmi, this is it, the season finale of Dollhouse, and you will be amazed at just how much they have crammed into this one hour. Thrills, spills, characters not seen since last season, some amazingly brilliant acting, and some amazingly bad acting. Topher goes crazy. Victor dresses like he’s crazy. Oh and just so [...]

Okay, so I was in L.A. a couple of weekends ago for my BF’s birthday, and I called up Flipit and Juddfan to see if they wanted to come see a drag show that my BFF Erick told me about (one of his other F’s was performing in it) and they were both like, “Who [...]

Let me just say thanks to those of you who cleared up my job question from last week. I’ve clearly been mostly out of the loop for a few years. I don’t know why I care. I guess MTV decided to stop pretending Real Worlders are functioning members of society anymore. Anyway, on to this [...]

Last week on Bad Girls Club, Batshit continued to be a bitch, Ambeer freaked out about going to gay club and she ended up shoving Manly into a pool. Somehow this broke Manly’s ankle. Wimpiest lesbo I’ve ever known. Anywho, no one went home but they all hate each other so lets see who tries [...]

Tonight on Project Runway: The Flamingay almost goes extinct and another Brit tries to get his skin to absorb American Tanning Spray, with disastrous results.

“Where do these women anchor their faith?” Morning girls! It’s three in the afternoon, time to rise and shine – Chris Harrison is here with some shocking news! And he’s all casual today. No purple, no mourning clothes. I guess it’s back to business as usual on The Bachelor. Or is it?

Hello again everybody! My name is J-Mo, and I’ve just breezed in for a few minutes to chat with you all and make a confession. Like many Americans, I made sure to sit down and pay attention to the President’s State Of The Union Address last night. In fact, I took copious notes on it. [...]

Last night, two really fake reality shows gave us some hearty laughs and we learned that letting the DVR go for a bit to channel surf can be enlightening. If you want to know more about…Carnie Wilson. Come on in! <3?

Yep. It’s another one of those episodes. A young man locks up his bicycle outside the Vitas Petroleum building in Boston and heads for the entrance. I’m jumping ahead a bit here, actually; later in this opening sequence, we’ll discover he’s a young man, and we’ll even learn his name (Mike) and his occupation (courier), [...]

Hey Gasmi, well were in the homestretch on Dollhouse. Mainly thanks to the suits at Fox canceling this show [insert obligatory burn in hell remark here]. Anyway, this episode has it all: the return of our favorite characters, some of whom are in other characters bodies, love trumping logic, kung fu fighting galore, Boyd being [...]

Hey Gasmii, we’re back with another season of Little Miss Perfect. This pageant features a very special component called “Wow Wear”. More on that later, but just remember, this TV show is responsible for spreading the “Wow Wear Concept” across the entire globe. Wow Wear is going for Global Domination!!! Can you say Wow?

“We’ll keep last night between us, right?” Welcome to the finale of Jersey Shore! The guido kids have lived and loved all summa long and the time has come to say goodbye. Time to scatter back out across the tri-state area and stop annoying the New Jersey locals. Bummer. We left off with Ronnie getting [...]

Toddlers & Tiaras is back with a vengeance, people! The glitz! The glamour! The obnoxiously bratty kids who make me want to get my tubes tied! Stephanie Sims, Pageant Director for the Little Miss Glitz pageant tells us it’s not your run-of-the-mill county fair pageant. “You’ll see everything from eyelashes to flippers, hair to the [...]

Justin is throwing plates! It’s about damn time! We open this episode of Ugly Betty at Betty’s new old apartment which has been painted periwinkle. Justin is rehearsing Stanley from A Streetcar Named Desire for his audition for some hoity-toity acting teacher. Hilda says Justin is so nervous about the audition she and Bobby are [...]

This week, we spend most of the first half of the episode watching the girls (and guys) in the house try to help Andrew in his quest to get laid. This is very nice of them, but I suspect it is in no small part motivated by their desire for him to stop trying to [...]

This week on Models of the Runway, Witchie Poo revels in the drama she’s trying to cause, Veta lets it all hang out, and Sophia changes her mind and decides to make some friends. Of course, they’re all as bitchy as she is. Well, not quite, but you get the picture. Ready?   There was [...]

“Do you guys have any tranquilizers?” Okay I have to tell you guys about this week’s recap of The Bachelor. I’m sure you’re over my sob stories, but I have one more. I was about three fourths of the way through recapping this episode using Microsoft Word, when all of a sudden the program froze, [...]

Tonight on Project Runway, models are confronted with their greatest fear: CARBS. Potatoes were in those things before you were. EEEEWWWWW!!!

Hey Gasmi, Tuesday has come and gone, and you know what that means? Well, yes, that if I don’t do that load of laundry tonight that I was supposed to do over the weekend, I’ll end up wearing my high school graduation gown to work tomorrow (Go Falcons!), but more than that it means a [...]

Hello peeplets! It’s that time of week again. Let’s go see who loses their shit this week on Bad Girls Club!

Get used to this sign. You’ll see it a lot. Just outside the town limits of Edina, New York, a state trooper named Johnny Pekarsky talks to his wife on the phone about their baby girl as he cruises down a dark, rainy road. He stares lovingly at a photo of his family taped to [...]

We open this episode of Ugly Betty with Betty shoving her face through a crack in a door. It’s a good look. She’s asking someone if she can talk to him and he answers that he’s doing crunches and wants to know if she’s got the money. I’m intrigued. Or hungry. She says she has [...]

“Are you calling me fat, you hippos?” Greetings, beloved readers of the Jersey Shore recaps! This week we’ve been presented with an extra-special gift: two back-to-back episodes! Now I adore this trash fest as much as y’all, but two hour episodes are the bane of my existence… and apparently my lot in life. You may [...]

It’s award season! I could take or leave the self congratulatory show, but I lovelovelovelove the clothes. That’s why I’m on the case for the pre-show action. Tonight’s victim is the Golden Globes. I’m tuning in to E!’s live from the red carpet coverage, because that’s where Ryan Seacrest is. Whenever you complain to yourself [...]

This week on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kim gets a defective dog. Or the producers give Kim a defective dog, rather. Also, Robert reaches the peak of his laziness, and Kim channels a demonic spirit. Okay, that last part wasn’t true, but from the looks of this picture, I wouldn’t be surprised. “This cereal [...]

Welcome to season two of Models Of The Runway! Here’s hoping that they add some model challenges this year. Personally, I’d like to see the three worst models each week have to eat 1200 calories worth of food and not be allowed to barf it back up. The winner each week can have all the diet [...]

***Please welcome your newest recapper to the fold, VirginiaApple! Hola, Gasmii! In the spirit of this year’s Real World theme (that would be “CHANGE” in case any of you live in a vacuum), I am here as a brand new recapper to bring you the Real World: Despite Jersey Shore, not all hope for the [...]

86 Hours Ago… This guy was much handsomer. The first question I have is, why 86? Are they trying to come up with their own Lostian mysterious numbers? 86 is a good choice, since we’re 86 Nathan now and might be 86 Heroes before much longer. It’s also roughly the number of hours behind I [...]

On tonight’s American Idol, Skara learns that sometimes the crazy ones CAN actually sing, we all learn that dental care in America is not as good as we thought it was, and I learn that Tink used to be a chubby little dork??!!!   LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL 

Hello my fellow addicts. Are you ready for another trip to the Bad Girls Club? Here we go!

Tonight on the Season 7 Premiere of Project Runway, tears! Old American Idol runner ups! Kors with a (possibly) legitimate tan! Come on in! Alright, Kors, now you’re overdoing it.

Oh Gasmi, we got all we could ask for on this week’s Dollhouse, 345 trips back to that most magical year, 2007, some of the sweetest geek on geek love ever recorded on television, and twists, twists, twists. So quit fooling around and make the jump so we can get to the good stuff.