POSTS TAGGED: hilarious

Hi ‘Gasmii. *sigh* Where does the time go? It can’t possibly be a full six months that we’ve been meeting here to talk about Top Chef in one form or another, can it? Have we really been sitting here for twenty-four weeks straight analyzing the challenges, arguing about our favorite chefs and generally talking trash [...]

This is it kids! The big finale! We’ve learned so much this season: never be a vegan on this show if you wanna make it past the start line, buying a $5 passport-holder might be worth it to win a million dollars, there’s nothing deadlier than a waterslide (especially if you’re dating someone willing to [...]

Look Gasmii, I have a job. A really important job. An advertising job. That’s why this recap is late. So, without further ado, please enjoy my gift to you, the last recap of 90210 of ’09… Sorry, I didn’t have time to wrap it…

Hello sweeties! It’s episode two of Crazy Bitches Gone Wild or as Oxygen insists on calling it Bad Girls Club. It seems we have a special person amongst the group who really thinks she “runs L.A.” Let’s jump on in to Batalie’s head and see what storms are brewing this week! Looks to me like [...]

This week on The Biggest Loser, our remaining four contestants ran a full 26.2-mile marathon. Without training properly. And without any of the cheering fans and drink stops that would be present during a normal race. It’s something that would put ANY normal human being into instant cardiac arrest. I’m about to call Flabulous People [...]

I’m not sure what’s worse, seeing Ugly Betty in a bathing suit or faking us out with a sepia-toned opening in a 1920s unitard once known as a “bathing suit.” Really, it’s a toss-up. Betty is pitching an idea about a feature on the first woman to wear a bathing suit with accompanying photos of [...]

“I knew these would pay off!” Jersey Shore, The Premiere continues. So where were we? Ah yes, Snooki has been pouting in her bed and no one really noticed, which means she’s not getting enough attention and therefore wants to go home and forget the whole thing. If you ask me, packing her crap is [...]

Hey Gasmi, what you been doing with yourself for the past month? Have you been enjoying those Bones and House reruns Fox trotted out for sweeps? No? Well don’t worry because Dollhouse is back, so make the jump and see what’s the newest trend in acceptable work behavior. Because everyone should be able to blow [...]

I could barely sit down to watch this week’s episode. This season has been such a letdown but I’m going to stick it out since this is my duty. Some people fight wars; I watch bad reality TV. This week’s episode picks up where the last one left off. Heartbreaker is lamenting the fact that [...]

I’m so sorry for the late recap, Gasmii! I’m still watching Jersey Shore over and over and over again. Thank heaven for the DVR and the pause button. I can’t get enough of watching that tanned dwarf getting punched in the head. Does that make me a bad person? Here’s a tip: Don’t tell a [...]

“Here we are! Who wants an STD?” Greetings beloved readers! I am back after a very brief hiatus to take a good look at the latest pile of trash masquerading as a documentary that MTV has seen fit to present – Jersey Shore.

What’s up, people? Are you all in the midst of your holiday craze yet? Last night I was outside putting my pretty sparkly lights up at 3:00am. Was I on meth? No, sillies, meth makes you skinny, therefore you can take one look at me and tell I don’t touch the stuff. Plus, I still [...]

Well, Gasmii, there are only two good things about this week’s episode. It didn’t air on Thanksgiving, thereby allowing us all to digest our food in relative peace and quiet, and Tammy from the ghosts of Housewives past stops by for a game of Bunko at Tamra’s house. Wait, I just remembered! There are three! [...]

Hey Gasmii. My sincerest apologies for the late recap. Most of the year I’m surfing the web at work and working on my recap but unfortunately we’ve come to one of the two months a year when I actually earn my paycheck. I’m tired, hungry and cranky but as God as my witness, I’ll get [...]

“It appears Wilhelmina Slater has been struck blind by the fashion gods,” Suzuki St. Pierre says as we open this episode of Ugly Betty. And has she ever! We see her getting out of a cab wearing sweats, a ball cap, and multi-colored crocs. Sweet Jesus, kill me now, you can’t even see her cleavage [...]

This week on the season finale of The Shitty: It took 9 whole episodes, but The City finally gets interesting. As interesting as this show can get, at least. And what makes this episode awesome? Awkward confrontations! Between Roxy and Kelly, and Olivia, Joe, and Erin! Yes, these people finally get to hash things out. [...]

This week on Desperate Housewives: Susan finally finds out about Bree, so you can check that off your list. Lynette sues Carlos over her job and it all ends up bitch-slapping her back in the face. Danny tries to kill himself Bell Jar style. Katherine jumps over the edge of sanity so far that I [...]

It’s that time of year again kiddies! Bright colorful lights, red noses, silver wrist jewelry. Christmas you say? Nah, it’s time for the Bad Girls Club! Let’s see who gets snockered, arrested or generally injured in the mayhem that is the best show on tv!

Hi guys, welcome to our last bit of V goodness until 2010. A lot of stuff happens tonight, but the main thing you can take away from this episode is that vaccinations are bad, and there are a horde of evil aliens just waiting to swoop in and enslave us. Awww, it looks like Jenny [...]

On a very special For the Love of Ray J, the girls have to style and direct Ray J in a Sean John photo shoot. The first eleven minutes of the episode are very Adorable-centric so either she’s going to be the winner or she’s going home. She’s one of the more attractive girls so [...]

Last week we learned that when you “candle-a-bra” you get “elimin-a-ted” and that someone’s gonna get their ass beat this episode! WHY?! Because it’s Amazing Race and somebody’s gotta get whooped! Teams start out in the marshes of Estonia where we left them and we see Team Master Race get the first clue – fly [...]

Hey ‘Gasmii, I’m finally back. I can’t apologize enough for the delays on this recap. As you may recall, the BF and I headed to Los Angeles last weekend where we ate some fine foods (Flipit and I shared a plate of deep-fried mac’n’cheese balls at Hamburger Mary’s on Santa Monica Blvd and giggled and [...]

Can you believe this season’s ending?!?! It seems like it’s only been running for ten years. Craziness! We open with a big glitter graphic spelling out ONE. LAST. CHANCE. And then they put this pic up. OK that’s just rude, you guys.

Welcome to the holidays, y’all! I think the last couple of weeks of November are my favorite time of the year for TV. Sweeps are almost over, and the Super Dramatic Action Episodes give way to the lets-just-have-fun-cuz-no-ones-watching episodes. It’s like dessert after the big meal. If the preview is any indication, this week’s episode [...]

This week on The Biggest Loser, we are down to our final six! And the presence of one happy, fashion-forward man makes up for all the pain I have that Liz is still with us. Ahhh! A vision in grey!

This week on Dancing With The Stars: we are forced to find a way to go on after the sudden departure of Meth Face and Svetlana, who were the couple kicked off last week. Now even ABC is setting me up with the crackhead jokes. I love it.

Guess who LOVES winning! Well here we are after just having watched Irina be crowned the winner of Project Runway Season 6. Before her parents even came onstage crying everyone knew that this means Kalyn also wins for accidentally ending up as Irina’s final model – her “muse model” as it were.

Start spreading the news, scaly skinned lizards are hitting the streets of Manhattan. What? No this isn’t a recap for Real Housewives of New York, we’re talking about V so make the jump and see what shenanigans space lizards can get into. Good lizards Bad lizards

Finale time, everyone! Forget Edward and Jacob — are you Team BEN or Team Laura? Or Team Wet Bikini Orgy?

Tonight two more dancers are cut from the competition, Nigel decides to lecture US on the definition of America’s Favorite Dancer, and we visit the best museum ever!  Doncha just love culture?  This! Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance……..dance)!

Hola, Gasmii! For all of you who were kind enough to share the origin of why Johnny Bananas is called Johnny Bananas in last week’s comments, I thank you. And curse you, just a little bit. It’s yet another image I will have to have surgically scraped from my frontal lobe. Speaking of douchebags, I [...]

This week we learn that Lava is psycho, Just Right is boring, one of the girls smashed a homie (again) and the producers of the show always highlight the women who will be eliminated at the top of the show. Who smashed a homie you ask? I’ll give you one hint: It’s the celibate one. [...]

Tonight, on the Project Runway Season 6 Finale, bangs lose.

Welcome back to Amazing Race everyone! The leg begins where we left off – Stockholm! Phil reminds us it’s the birthplace of ABBA. OMG if they had an ABBA challenge that’d be AWESOME! Team BroMos would nail it.

On this falsely advertised as Betty-goes-bad-girl episode of Ugly Betty, we’re begin our day at Casa de Nobody Works during breakfast. Betty comes into the dining room as Hilda woo-oohs that Betty got home late – at 10:30pm. I have to admit, I’m usually in bed before then, so it does sound late. Betty says [...]

This week on 90210, Jazz-Hands creeps out Harry and Becky, Matthews looks greasier than ever and both Naomi and Borianna are discovered to be lying jerks. In other news, the writers throw caution to the wind and just kinda ignore anything that happened in the original show. Peace out, Jackie. I guess, I didn’t know [...]

Dear Gasmii, My sincerest apologies for posting this recap of The Biggest Loser so late. You see, I had the flu over the weekend. So I was already experiencing enough intestinal grief without adding this show to the mix. Forgive me? If not, then Jillian will kill you.

This week on Desperate Housewives: Susan does a little comm-serve time for, you know, shooting her neighbor (not that Katherine didn’t deserve it, because we all know she TOTALLY did); Angie finds out Bree’s secret; Gabby is still. Trying. To get. Juanita. Back in school. Please, Cherry, let’s just end that soon, mmkay? And Lynette [...]

And some who are younger than the models! Moments before… the three Project Runway finalists received the non-surprise that they will have to design a 13th look for their collections at the very last minute! Our Models of the Runway – Delta, Cheetos and Kalyn – all react like they just saw a soap bubble [...]

Apologies for the delays, Gasmii. I was working on my “A game” and “visualizing” my recap and perfecting my “air quotes”. And trying to scrape my brain to eliminate this image: