POSTS TAGGED: hilarious

I had high hopes for this train wreck but it was little more than a fender bender. Although the potential was there (Thong bikinis! Gay men! Butter-head blondes with limited command of the English language!), a whole lotta nada happened. But let’s chalk it up to necessary pilot episode formalities and meet our cast. Yeah. [...]

Tonight on Big Brother, Ronnie has a secret and Lydia does some “My name is Chubby” jokes. I was a dork in high school.

This week on Fashion Show, it comes down to ugly clothes and ugly morals. Also ugly five gallon hats, ugly Sgt Pepper jackets, and ugly magazine editors, but I don’t wanna make this confusing. This is the only part that wasn’t hideous.

Tonight, on Big Brother: This happened.

***Please welcome your newest recapper to the fold with Great American Road Trip, TyrahNahSaurus! Seven families from divergent backgrounds will take the journey of a “lifetime”. In mobile homes. Dreamy, no? The families will travel through large and small cities, while competing in a series of challenges that will lead one family to returning home [...]

Holla Gasmi! Tonight the couples will be taking to the dance floor twice (finally), hoping to secure a place in the top ten and on the tour. And the randomness of the picks continues to be suspect. Also? Tyce should shut the fuck up. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance….dance)! LOVE Cat’s look [...]

The body is cold, but the story must go on. Besides, a little bad smell never hurt anyone did it? Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep or you’ll become the next cast member in this macabre tale. This week the undead Preppies enjoy the winter holidays. One goes to Palm Beach, one goes to Cancun, [...]

Welcome back to another season of Big Brother! Schoonie, Flipit, and Copyhacker here. We are starting off with our group recap, and then will return to regular format for the rest of the season! Grodner has filled the house with some very impressive ignoramii, so let’s get started! Why is Chastity Bono sobbing? Find out [...]

Hey everybody! I just realized something… I’ve been recapping for TVGasm for an entire year now (my first recap ever was on July 2nd of last year) and I just want to give a big warm and gooey thanks to all of you incredible ‘Gasmii for making me feel so welcome, I absolutely love my [...]

“From what I understand Spain is just Mexico-East.” This week Jillian stops squealing long enough to take us on an extended look at each of the remaining guys’ journey to the Final Four. First, though, she tells us all a-boat how she thought at this point there would be one guy she really liked and [...]

This week on Fashion Show, an angel loses its wings but Honduras gains a midget in a catsuit. Uh oh. His feathers are raised. Get a net before he shits all over us.

It’s that time again, Gasmi. Tonight we lose another girl and another guy. Which is why Cat does not like Thursdays. I’m guessing that’s why she’s decided to fashion her frock out of silver lame. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…..dance)! Disco Barbie 

This week the concept of random picks from a hat gets put to the test. And by put to the test I mean completely thrown out the window. Along with two of the dancers. But more of that later! THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…….dance)! Pretty in Pink 

Won’t you please join us for lunch? What do you get when you mix “Gossip Girl”, “Twilight” and “The Real Housewives of NYC” ? NYC Prep. Join me while we get a glimpse into the super-glamorous life of ghoulish teens who spend more money than we make in a year all the while complaining about [...]

“Even when I’m thinking hard, I’m fun.” I’m trying to think, but it’s hard because there is this constant high pitched squealing in my ear. I see a small brunette girl leaping around the TV screen like an epileptic bunny and I realize… it’s time for another episode of The Bachelorette!

Dear Gasmi, It’s time to take the jump down the rabbit hole and enjoy the mind-bending bizarro world that occurs when the separate realities of five seriously insane housewives collide. Make that six.

Hey Gasmi, how’s it going? How was your week? Do anything exciting, like get attacked by a minotaur, held hostage by vampires, agree to go to Dallas to get vampires to release your friend, go to bible camp where you dreamed about vampires, hung out at a wild Bacchanalian orgy, or maybe just went on [...]

Bienvenidos my cheesy enchiladas, ready to go back to Cancun for a long weekend? I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat!

You are supposed to drop a quarter or a buck (if you’re feeling really generous) into their cup and walk away, not invite them to stay with you! “Dude, can I borrow a cup of sugar AND A LIFE?!”

Dear Gasmi, This is it! Part two of the joyous reunion between the New Joisey housewives. It’s also the longest infommercial evah for a book! I think it’s safe to say the Kevin Maher is doing something nice for Miss Thang…

Bienvenue, my fellow cuisine connoisseurs! You know, so far this show has kinda surprised me with it’s almost total lack of outrageously hugantic ginormous egotistical assclowns, and I was beginning to think that I’d be reduced to making lame jokes about bad hair and croggily-wacked teefs on these pros… until tonight. Now, we can change [...]

Hello Gasmii– Tonight’s episode is cram-packed with the two things we’ve come to expect from Harper’s Island– vicious murders and even more diabolical plotholes. It’s like they realized how stretched-thin the last two shows were and are making up for that by stepping up the output on both bodies and nonsensical behavior. Plus there’s personal [...]

This week on Fashion Show, Eyesack gives someone a poison apple and they fall asleep FOREVAH!!!

Welcome to NYC Prep where the children are not what they seem. NYC Prep is a new show on Bravo about four young women and two young men, all teenagers who are in high school. Five of them go to private school and one is a public school girl. She’ll become obvious as the show [...]

We’re one episode away from finding out who will be crowned the King or Queen of the Jungle and boy am I relieved. I ended up enjoying the show in a weird way and I’ve become attached to Patti’s pigtails, Torrie’s nerdy glasses and Lou’s bare chest. I’m not so attached to the third Mario [...]

“It’s the MOST DRAMATIC TRANSPORTATION IN BACHELORETTE HISTORY.” Well for Pete’s sake, here we go again with The Bachelorette. Is this Groundhog Day? Have I woken up in Punxutawney, Pennsylvania to Sonny and Cher’s “I Got You Babe?”

Yes folks it’s finally here. The day we’ve all been waiting for. Who will be named King or Queen of the Jungle? Let’s wade through the 58 minutes of commercials and rehashing and find out who wins I’m A Celebrity! Get Me Out Of Here! Wanna spank my monkey?

***True Blood is one of our favorite shows, and we finally found someone fantastic to serve up your recaps. Please welcome our newest Moviegasm contributor over to the recap side! WaffleBoy!! Hey Gasmi, a quick question, do you like vampires? Okay, that’s a dumb question, because of course you do; everybody loves vampires. From the [...]

Buenos dias chiquitas, you’re never going to believe what happened to me! I went to Brooklyn for some sex, drinks and fighting…and I fell asleep. I think a whole season of the Real World might have happened, but I napped through it. All I know is, I woke up in Mexico! First day here, and [...]

I had JUST sworn off fast food Gasmi. I’m on a diet goddammit!! And then I heard the news: this week New York Goes To Work as a fast food employee. Well, I had to do my research, right? What happened next, well, let’s just say this was the appetizer………  My ass thanks VH1 

This week on Daisy of Love.. Don’t be sick, Gasmii. By now most of you should know not to eat before reading my recaps. Also, at this point in the game the Yack Castle is getting pretty claustrophobic. Which means that it’s a perfect time to shove them all in the kitchen together to whip [...]

I’m back! The demons at Best Buy have been defeated and my computer is fixed. We’re on Day 18 of the celebrities supposedly being in the jungle. I’ve missed Lou, Janice and Sanjaya. But I’ve missed the summer’s sexiest couple most of all. Ebony and Ivory (Ivory comes with matching handcuffs).

This week on Fashion Show, Kenley prays and Satan answers.

Poor Cat, she hates Thursdays so much; she has to say good-bye to another two of her “babies”. The wardrobe people must feel sorry for her because her outfit on Thursday is always much MUCH better than the Wednesday ones. Tonight she’s rocking the Tony Manero look. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance [...]

Welcome to week two of the competition. What will tonight bring? The stakes are high and so are the costume designers. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance……dance)! When does a ruffled maxi-pad dress EVER sound like a good idea? 

Welcome to Round Two, my little culinary cohorts! At the risk of revealing something personal, I’m going to go out on a limb and admit that I’m not a fan of leftovers… something that my BF is constantly reminding me of in his patented Long-Suffering-Voiceâ„¢. In fact, for the first 5 years we were together [...]

To Gasmii It May Concern– The role of Token Minority will henceforth be known as Braids. Alright, let’s cut to the chase. High Tension (2003) is one the scariest, grab-you-by-the-throat thrillers of the decade. Director Alexandre Aja plays the audience like a baby grand, pulling us into the deceptively simple story of two co-eds on [...]

Dear Gasmi: Sadly, I never recovered from my flu. I am in fact dead. I’m also determined to drag my sorry decomposing carcass out of my grave to finish off this season for you. Guilt Free!!

Maria Menounos is given the task of getting to the bottom the Duel 2. Unfortunately, she spends more time talking about things that didn’t happen on the show and about people who aren’t at the reunion. I sat through it anyway (a decent amount of Landon face time didn’t hurt) to bring you all the [...]

What a sad week. Not only are we subjected to more brain damage courtesy of Fox, but it looks as though 12 Pack isn’t packing so much. Maybe all that leopard is some kind of spooky penis camouflage? Here’s hoping.