POSTS TAGGED: hilarious

Hello Gasmii! The season finale of Ugly Betty does not disappoint, what with it’s intrigue, interviews, job-stealing, love-child aborting/adopting, Henry-returning, sexoholic living in sinning, Betty-cheating, Justin-dreaming, career-ruining, hopes-crushing, Molly-watching, ghost-whispering, cover-modeling, bride-dying, mother-drinking, investor-meddling, co-editor snaking, features-editor-dying, pigeon-picturing, magazine award-winning, Matt-revenging, and private-investigating…phew! Let’s begin! Sweet Moses, I need to get a life! We open [...]

But you better believe some drunks were. After the entertaining masterpiece that was last week’s episode, this week was a bit of a let-down. The producers thankfully agreed with me and to keep it from being all about Cage’s Stage 4 drunken behavior and Fox’s unimaginable depths of duncehood, so we got a little skunk [...]

This week on Fashion Show, Not Beyonce struggles with simple English and a model falls asleep on the runway. Who can blame the ho? Surviving gay cancer is like surviving regular cancer, but way more girly and unintelligible.

If this was a show where I even slightly believed that Stacey would end up with one of her suitors, I’d care. It is quite clear however, that she will not end up with any of them long term and thus I am subjected to images like these for no reason. Spits or Swallows?

Holla Gasmi! Dust off those tap shoes, pull that bunched-up leotard out of your ass, and keep your becdazzler handy. It’s time for season five of So You Think You Can Dance (dance……..dance)! My giney just got all tingly. 

Dear Gasmi, This week our ladies find time between money laundering and pasta making to do some parenting, Jersey style. Not to stereotype Jersey or anything. I’m sure women from other states raise their kids in cages, as well. I’ve got my red wine, my plastic cup and my twisty straw, but I’m pretty sure [...]

Tonight, it’s finale time!! There are lots and lots of senior citizens shaking their man boobs and playing meemaw anthems on their banjos, and even some surprises! Let’s join hands one last time. Making fun of children on TV is the road to world peace. And THIS. Is American Idol! Sorry, but you still LOSE.

“And on top of everything, my bra shows in this dress!” Welcome to The Bachelorette! So I’m not sure if any of you know this, but last season on Jason Mesnick’s self-indulgent ego trip nicknamed “The Bachelor,” there was a spunky little Canadian maple leaf named Jillian. Jillian had a theory that she could tell [...]

The season finale brings us tears, laughter, drama, break-ups, get-togethers, drunk girls, stoned parents, unkempt hair, juicy secrets, slutty attire, cell phones, and of course, headbands. They grow up so quickly, don’t they? Where’s my yearbook?

The last episode of 90210 of the season is here! Praise the Lord! Can I get an Amen? Seriously though, Gasmii. You would think a show this caca for koo koo poops would be easy to recap and make fun of but its not. There are only so many ways you can tell fictional characters [...]

It’s the final episode of the 5th and crappiest season! Yay! Tonight’s first episode is entitled “Everybody Says Don’t.” Which was also the title of the 18th episode of Season 2. Which goes to show you a.) how lazy the writers have been this season, and/or b.) how much research they actually do in regards [...]

Tonight, it’s between a gay ham and a yawny twink. I CAN’T BELIVE IT’S ALMOST OVER! I will miss this sideways face.

This show is killing me! To help speed the process along, I’ve decided to mirror New York’s job each week as I write my recap. Last week, it was eating an entire bag of pork cracklin’. This week, I’ll be writing my recap au natural – all I can say is be happy you can’t [...]

On tonight’s episode of The Hills, Heidi and Spencer GET ENGAGED!!!!!!!1!!!1!!!! HOLY SHIT! Again?

This week on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, I’m tired of typing already. But because of my love for you guys I’ll press ahead. Let’s take a look inside Meltyface Manor. Before..

J’adorable Suzuki St. Pierre kicks off this episode of Ugly Betty with an update of the Meade Publications saga, calling Cal Hartley an “eccentric billionaire and my future sugar daddy.” He continues saying, “Yes, the seemingly preposterous rumors are true…people are eating at Mode!” and we see Betty walk by the camera chowing on a [...]

This week on Grey’s Anatomy, put on your top hats kids because not only is it the 100th episode, but it is the wedding we have been anticipating for five seasons. And in preparation for this wedding, ABC has been gracious enough to make Meredith likable the past few episodes reminding us of why we [...]

Who let Chrissy Snow in here? This week was a hoot for me to watch and if I were a psychiatry student I could probably write an entire dissertation on the pathology of rock n roll love and the idiots that fall for bad boys. Honestly, I fell for one myself. Okay, maybe it was [...]

Vivica is the most impatient host in dating show history. Every week she calls the guys out and it’s always like “Hurry up guys” or “Come on fellas, we don’t have all day” or “Get your asses down here, I was in Independence Day and now I’m a game show host dammit!” You can totally [...]

In this episode of I Love Money 2, we never actually get to see Buckwild on stage! This is both a blessing and a curse, so it’s only fitting to honor her memory by making her the default picture for the episode. This might just be the greatest award she’s ever received.

Dear Gasmi, This is it!! The final part of the final episode! And it’s time to party… OMG My penis! What have you done with my penis?! Just remember, mornings after can be a real bitch…

This week on The Fashion Show, how do you make a socialite that looks like she spent a dollar on her clothes look like she spent forty? And when did the America Ferrera look catch hold? Ugly Betty, you just got schooled!

Previously on The Duel 2: Landon was hot, Neh was weird, Evan pouted alot, and Jenn got her freak on with Rachel. Like the Kool-Aid man said, Oh yeah! Oh, and Mark was old and and TJ smoked a lot of weed and I still want Rob Dyrdek to host this.

Tonight, on Survivor: our long national nightmare is finally over.

Okay, maybe not. But it sounds more exciting than what’s actually about to happen. We’ve got a pretty even match this year on Hell’s Kitchen. Who do you think will win?  It’s not her, so you know I’m happy!   

Greetings Gasmii! It’s Episode 22 and we’ve only got one week left after this! Can you believe it? This week on ’24′, everyone reverts to type. Jack springs into badass/action mode and ultimately turns on the Feds to protect his family…cuz that’s how he roll! Evil-Meida tries his hardest to kill a lot of people [...]

Dear Gasmi, This week we start our journey into the totally legit, in no way mob connected, lives of the Manzo family women. They’ve got hair, bubbies, and wads of cash all standing at the ready to flash across our TV screens. So grab your straws and your tarted up drinks and settle in because [...]

Oh my dear fierceling fashionistas, it is with a heavy heart that I sit down to write this final recap. Or maybe that’s just the pizza and beer I’ve just inhaled. Gimme a second, here… *urp* Okay, I feel better now. It’s just so hard to believe that only 3 short months ago we were [...]

Now that I’ve had a couple hours’ sleep after finishing the last recap, who’s ready for the big finale and the inevitable post-nooky awkwardness? It’s probably best that last week’s episode is still fresh for me, since they’re really two parts of a two-hour finale. I think. Anyway, let’s roll. Here comes the cold open. [...]

It’s May Sweeps and for 90210 it can only mean one thing…

“Happy freakin’ Mother’s Day!” Hello beloved readers! Welcome to the VERY truncated recap of the VERY elongated season finale of Celebrity Apprentice! As much as I love to rip on these egomaniacs, as much as I love tearing apart Donald Trump’s fluctuating notions of “morality,” and as much as I love coming up with much [...]

Tonight, dreams do come true, but not for bat boys.

Dear Gasmi, This is it! Woohoo! Part 1 of our reunion episode. I’ve got my yummy Frangelico Hazelnut cupcakes (shouts out to FloOky!!) and I’m ready to go. Let’s rumble!

To get myself in the mood for this week’s episode of New York Goes To Work, I just polished off an entire bag of Grandpa John’s Pork Cracklin’ Strips. Now seasoned with cayenne pepper. Mmmmmmmm. If you have never had pork cracklin’ before, you should definitely give it a try. Just be sure to have [...]

Tonight we get to start off with how we left last week. My Mom driving me nuts. Me using every opportunity to go hide and cry…..oh sorry, on Keeping up With The Kardashians, well, it’s basically the same thing. Let’s go see who’s having a meltdown today, besides me. Evil takes many forms.

This week on Grey’s Anatomy, the recapper was SO late with the recap that one might think that the recapper had lost hope in Grey’s Anatomy. But fear not. This week has children trying to shoot parents, and who doesn’t like that? In addition to that, we get to meet the ever colorful mom of [...]

Tonight on American Idol, Church Lady Gokey is so painful to watch dancing that he does this to a woman’s face.

Buenos dìas, ‘Gasminos! I’m back from my vacay with a collection of odd tan lines and a regret that I missed last week’s Crazy Eyes-off between Jayde and Blahdrina. But never fear – this week’s episode is full of exciting drama like… really bad hair accessories and psychotically mean smiles exchanged between idiots. Join me, [...]

We flash back to the 80s in this week’s Gossip Girl in case you cared what Lily was like as a kid AND we get to go to the prom, which is tragically not called the “Enchantment Under The Sea Dance.” Hi, I’m Brittany Snow and I only play characters from other decades.

This week on Desperate Housewives: Tom wants plastic surgery; Bree still wants a divorce, or does she? Yeah. She does; Susan and Jackson are getting married; Mike and Katherine are getting married; and Gabby tries real hard to learn a lesson and retain knowledge. Again. Can we just make the show about Juanita?