POSTS TAGGED: hilarious

So this season of Making the Band is officially over. And like every other season, we end with an unsatisfying reunion episode where very few questions are actually answered, and my iced double mocha runs out far too quickly. Final Chapter…until next season…

W’sup girls’n’boys? Welcome back to Brazil, home of elite fashion designers, thick accents and zero labia hair, and I have some pressing questions for you all. Have you ever wondered what some of these girls would look like wearing a doily and some dental floss? Would you be interested in watching Sex-God Nigel Barker making [...]

Well ladies and gents, this is how it all ends. The cast of For the Love of Ray J, I’m gonna be presumptuous and say “season one”, has gathered to recap the season, update us on all their comings and goings and provide closure to those of us who have nothing better to do. A [...]

Last time on the Duel: Brooke went home in the sissiest Duel ever, Evan pouted and acted like a pussy, Mark was old, TJ was monotonous and boring and the opening still sucked. We start this episode with Evan giving a long monologue…about sheep? Um, ok. He says something about how “chicks dig a winner” [...]

Intensity. Drama. White people doing runs. Judges using the word “brilliant” way too much. Jamie Foxx saying things like “five people who shocked the world” and “throat Olympics “. Choir directors who look like lesbians with glued on chin hair. This. Is the end of the world. And THIS. Is American Idol Results!

What is that stench? Who’s ready for another two hours of Celebrity Apprentice? This week is all about body odor, which naturally these beautiful people know nothing about. What’s a poor celebrity to do?

This week on 90210, everyone just kind of phones it in. I miss “us”.

This week, Cole’s secret past comes back to haunt him in the present with real consequences for all The Unusuals.

This week on Grey’s Anatomy, Izzie takes the “I’m fine, really!” line one step too far, a sexy bromance is rekindled, Lexie cleans out craft services and the producers pull out all the stops to make sure the audience is in tears by the end of the episode. Oh, and Meredith accomplishes a feat I [...]

Guess what folks? This show is still on the air. My deepest sympathies. On the other hand, what the hell else have I got to do? Let’s see what this fun filled family is up to this week on Keeping Up With The Kardashians!

LINC SCARED OF MAN WITH GUN! LINC HOLD BRAINS IN HEAD! Well, things are moving right along here in Miami! Team Michael and Team Linc are totally mad at each other, but their separate sleuthing adventures lead them to the same place at the same time for an anticlimactic whispery showdown. Those fake passes they [...]

Tonight on Desperate Housewives: As the season winds down, the show becomes less and less interesting. Orson lies; Carlos sees Lynette naked; Gabby and Tom argue; and Susan reveals a dark secret to Dave. I’m bored. Me too.

This week on Gossip Girl ,everyone starts talking about butter, someone turns out not to be an angel, and Jesus makes an appearance.

There are five Cylons. But who are they? And should they be allowed to breed with humans? And why does the AI stage look like the Into the Woods set? Join me as we watch the final five visit the graves of the Rat Pack and stomp on them as hard as they can. This. [...]

It’s been a whole month, kids, and I’ve missed each and every one of you! We’ve been through a homoerotic jizz fest and drag queens together and now it’s time for a show that is centered around a real girl! Well, if you don’t count her lips, nose or boobs. Brett Michaels passed on this???

It was a level-4 week on The Hills, as the girls crash the Brocation, Blahdrina hypnotizes Broday by swinging her tits in front of him, and Spencer and Heidi (thankfully) spend less time talking about therapy and more time talking about something you never thought they would: virginity. “You’re getting verrrrry horny…”

I spent the weekend in NYC with my hubby. I was hoping to run into a Real Worlder (or at least Kelly Bensimon running in traffic) in the Big Apple, but alas, Lady Luck was not on my side. However, I did see Neil Patrick Harris, which I am now reminiscing about while drinking wine, [...]

This week, my brain explodes while watching Hell’s Kitchen. Wonder why? No you don’t. You know why. But if you want to see it all unfold, join me after the jump.

This week, on Survivor: meet my new desktop background.

We start right off this week, with Alec bringing Kitty some ice cream at the park. Kitty hilariously scolds him for continually bringing her food, because she might get fat. Oh, I don’t think anyone really believes that. She makes a half-hearted comment that she might not have been there, but he reminds her that [...]

This week on I Love Money 2, Saaphyri shakes things up! Surprisingly this is not a literal remark about her thunderous ass.

Welcome back everyone! Last week we learned that Mai Thai Trannies sing in the key of “B-Flat” while Jaime sings in the key of “B-itch”, the dental program of Thailand thrives on reality show competitions, and the Lil Guys are apparently the biggest rule-breakers the show has ever seen! Now – this week – let’s [...]

Welcome to the last stop on the Rock of Love Bus! I miss my hos already, but I’m not gonna get in a funk over it. I’m gonna wear smokey eyes and stripper shoes and report the shocking, shocking, news that Bret Michaels chose a Penthouse Pet over an insecure farmgirl! Drunk, naked and ready? [...]

Horses, Laser Tag, drunk rich people, and an ever so delightful murder mystery!

Olá! e boa vinda! That means “Hello and welcome” in Portuguese! I’m so glad you’ve joined me once again, because it probably means that you are enjoying my semi-rare and mildly stimulating insights into the cosmic fabulosity of this show. Given the average length of my recaps, it also probably means you have about a [...]

Hey Gasmii! Sorry I’m a little late with the recap this week. The good news is, I landed a new full-time office gig (recession be damned!) The bad news is that the recaps might be a little late for the rest of the season. It’s too bad, because if this week is any indication…there’s some [...]

Dear Gasmi, This week it’s Halloween in hausenfrau land!! All of our ladies are ready and willing to entertain us with a variety of costumes, and, really, this week is a lot like our own private freakshow. Featuring the first woman to be fully rejected by her implants. Seriously, would somebody please rescue those poor [...]

Tonight on American Idol Results, some woman named Freda puts a tent in my boxers.

This week on The Unusuals, Beaumont becomes part of a case that she is desperate to keep hidden. Delahoy questions his life as he investigates a missing man who got up and disappeared after being pronounced dead.

“Who wants to watch what I can do really well?” Tonight on Celebrity Apprentice Ivanka Trump is dissed, Clint Black puts himself into another commercial, and Annie Duke tells us the REAL secret to her success. Here we go again!

It is Week 2 of The Cougar! Let me just take a moment to add that to the “List of Phrases I Never Thought I’d Say.” Stacey managed to live through the what she calls “the wildest night” of her life. Wow. The only thing that was wild about it was her repeated exposure to [...]

This week on Gossip Girl there are accidental marriages, biting ballerinas, and a giant elephant in the room named Gabriel.

This week on The Unusuals, a seemingly innocent favor sends Detective Casey Schraeger on a tough mission, both professionally and personally, and it pulls in everyone at the station.

This week on Making the Band, Day26 finds out that performing without Que really isn’t all that bad. And whereas, I assumed that Que would be spending his “time out” in rehab, he is actually just bumming around their New York palatial estate. What a crappy punishment! Brian looks more “special” by the second…

This week on The Hills, a lot of important groundwork was laid for later plot developments (because of tonight, we know that Lauren’s gonna have to fire her dipshit new intern and Blahdrina is TOTES gonna hook up with Broday), plus Spencer and Heidi hone their old-married-couple shtick by going even further than fighting all [...]

Hey Gasmii! This week on 90210, more arm flailing, nose flaring and general mediocrity. But at least we didn’t have to look at this hot tranny mess.

VH1 officially pissed me off by showing a recap episode last week. Was that really necessary? It was so anticlimactic and quite frankly I’m uninterested in this finale. However, I’ve come this far and I might as well finish off this trash heap of a show. El heapo del trasho

Tonight on American Idol, America made this face:

WHY MAN WITH TELESCOPE LOOK AT LINC GIANT HEAD? Hey, you guys remember that show Prison Break? Something about steely-eyed glares and lots of schematics hung on walls and giant monosyllabic oafs and a really whole lot of dead people? Me neither, it turns out! It seems like a really long time since the last [...]

Welcome once again fellow fashion fans! Thank you for your patience while I was off having a fabulous time dancing and sweating in the sudden 100-degree heat-wave that hit Phoenix this past weekend… but on the plus side, some guy came up and told my drag-queen friend that his favorite dancer out of the six [...]