POSTS TAGGED: hilarious

Gasmii, I never get tired of Toddlers & Tiaras even though it’s sort of the same one each week. It’s like two parts cute kids with dimples, one part spoiled brat, and more than a pinch of crazy parent. Huge and sparkly, just like I like ‘em!

“Welcome to Trump Tower!” Hello beloved readers! I am honored and humbled to be recapping this season of Celebrity Apprentice! I know I’m coming a tad late to the game, so we are going to bounce right over episodes one and two and dive into episode three. The guys have already lost Andrew Dice Clay [...]

Tink starts off by telling us that tonight, one contestant will face the fire! Finally! They’re gonna just start cremating the eliminated contestants. I guess someone over at FOX is listening to my voicemails after all! That’s democracy! And THIS. Is American Idol Results!! Pitchy heathen!

Greetings and salutations fashionistas! Well, it’s been a crazy week for our poor Tyranna-Sore-Ass, what with the international news coverage of the riot/stampede that broke out amongst a mob of munchkins at auditions for Cycle 13 (a.k.a. The “Okay, I Guess Short Chicks Might Be Pretty, Too” Cycle) in New York City! I don’t want [...]

Just going by the episode title (“Here Kitty”), this week of House has potential. Whose kitty? Does it smell bad? Barf up hairballs? Scratch and bite if you rub it a certain way? SO NAUGHTY! We could speculate for at least a paragraph, but that’s just what FOX is expecting us to do, and besides, [...]

“We can fix it!” Greetings Gasmii! This week, the folks on 24 learn some valuable children’s television-style lessons such as the value of sharing, making new friends, telling the truth, and being fair! There’s also a lot of build-up toward our final showdown with the Big Baddies at Starkwood! Follow me as I recap it [...]

Woo hoo! Your man Ray J is back. A week without Ray J is like waiting a week for test results. You know that really important test that you retake several times because the results could mean the end of life as you know it. The test that makes you start thinking of all the [...]

Tonight, on the finale of The Shitty: Adam confronts Erin at work (regarding Allie); both Olivia and Whit are up for a great job opportunity in London; Olivia sucks throughout (what else could we expect); Whit seeks advice from a certain California lady; and the unthinkable happens: Whit totally grows a pair. Whit? Is this [...]

Wow! Hilda’s really sporting a beer gut, isn’t she? As we begin this week’s Ugly Betty starring perennial favorite Christine Baranski, the Suarez family is at home with Sports Guy Matt, now know as Rich Sports Guy Matt, feasting on breakfast. Do I show you sit ups or condoms? I’m not sure.

This week on Making the Band, Que says that Will is selfish and jealous and cannot see past his selfishness and jealousy because he’s much too selfish and jealous to realize how selfish and jealous he is. Got that? Me neither. On with the show! “Willie’s just a big mean meany!”

After a long hiatus, we are back with a new drama filled week on Grey’s Anatomy. As morning breaks, all the members and new members of the frat house prepare for another day of torturing interns, boning Doctors and experimental surgery. All except for one. McDreamy has set up shop on the downstairs couch, and [...]

Tonight, Hambert pees all over the Grand Ole Opry. Eleven left. THIS. Is American Idol! It’s hard to not like a person who can steal from Elvis, Madonna and Liza all at once.

It’s a pageant, it’s entertainment and it’s a college education. At least that’s the thinking of one pageant Mom. Can pageants really provide a good size nest egg for your darling daughter’s future? Or is it more economical to put the money in a bank and watch it earn interest, or maybe just set fire [...]

Hello peeplets! This week is a special week on Bad Girls Club. The Ambers take over! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!

Last week we learned that Kris and Amanda should never procreate, Tammy needs to buy a Garmin so she can beat Victor in the head with it and being old doesn’t mean you can’t be a contender on the race – just that you can’t win it. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s AMAZING RACE! Teams start [...]

Welcome back to the Real World Brooklyn. Today begins with a bummer. Katelynn’s bank account is overdrawn again. Volunteer work is great and all, she tells us, but she’s post-op. She needs cash. Sarah’s advice is to “hug it out”. “Hug it out?” Katelynn asks her, confused. What, no Entourage in cow country? The ears [...]

Hi guys. Me again with another installment of this craptacular show known as Keeping up With The Kardashians! Let’s jump right in and see if Bruce’s face has slid off his neck yet. Oh and Kourt gets her first cover for a magazine. Why anyone wants this photo is beyond me. Maybe it’s for Dead [...]

Tonight, on Survivor: dentists throughout the world cringe.

Okay, so here’s the deal: I have company coming to stay in less than two hours, and I only just got off of work. So, I’m going to try a first for me – getting this thing written in under an hour. And that includes getting it posted. Because I don’t know if you guys [...]

Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum – I smell the scent of a backstabbing Dum…In further news, Patty nearly made me wet myself from fear (again) Goodbye, Van Peebles (code name Dee). We hardly knew ye. Tell Uncle Pete we said “hey.”

This week on I Love Money 2, the episode is awesome! Who’da thunkit?

This week on Hell’s Kitchen, JP wonders who he pissed off in production, a boy becomes a man, and the thirty second rule gets put to the test. It’s mine, all mine!

Dear Gasmi, This week JZ and Brad make a pitch for their own gay sitcom; Bethenny gets to play covergirl; Ramona rocks a bikini; Silex floats in a backyard pool of denial; and the Count-ass earns her title. Whoopsi, I forgot Kelly. Well on the TV she’s still meh, but in real life… Holy Cow!! [...]

Pageant mentors are as important to pageants as big red noses are to clowns. You just have to have one. And this pageant has a big one and he knows who he is. I am the big red nose on this clown of a pageant. This week we are treated to more of Michael Galanes’ [...]

   Greetings Gasmii! This week, ’24′ has the remedy for whatever ails you. Bored? Well, how about a bunch of shit blowing up and people getting shot left and right? Confused? Maybe a little back-story tonic and future relationship foreshadowing will do the trick? Tired of the Sangala plot line? Well how about an in-depth [...]

Tonight on Desperate Housewives: Orson develops what is supposed to be a bad habit, but it’s mostly just lame and ridiculous; Gabby wonders whether lying about Brad’s affair is worth having shiny things; Susan and Katherine fight over a crappy painting as she and Mike move in together; and Tom and Lynette vie for the [...]

Hey there, hi there, ho there, fashion-fans! I’m so happy to be once again sitting here in the dark at my PC and watching impossibly thin and beautiful women bitch and cry at each other (most likely out of ravenous hunger) and knowing that in a few minutes I’ll be polishing off the better part [...]

Let me set the scene for y’all: Dim lights. The soft clink of silver and china. The back of a bunch of books, featuring a pic of the tweedy author. A fancy banquet-hall dinner. The author himself, even tweedier in person, about to attempt a speech.    What my hair looked like in high school. He [...]

Hi there Gasmi! It’s me Cherie. Don’t know who I am? Yeah well me neither. When Flipit asked if I wanted to do this show I was hesitant, after all, I do have standards. Turns out very LOW standards so here I is! Welcome to my version of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Welcome back to the only way to traverse every state fair ground east of the Mississippi, the Rock Of Love Bus! This week, we have a challenge, a drunken night out, a spicy bitchfight, a solo date and more! We have a lot to get to. No time for panties. You don’t need them where [...]

This week on Making the Band, we learn that no one is safe from the failing economy. And that Diddy’s Trickle Down Economics never quite seem to trickle down to those who work for him. But at least the show is no longer trying to pretend like Shannon is still a member of Danity Kane. [...]

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This week I am still pissed off so I will be foregoing sitting on my exercise ball and use a chair I can’t fall out of. Oxygen couldn’t decide on a title so I’ll use both. Let’s get right into the Bad Girls Club!

Cootchie cootchie kook Here we go again. First of all, I was raised to beleive that talent should be rewarded and failure was something you learned from, not the other way around. That is why this episode made me question the judging even more than last week. Not that the gal I’m referring to here [...]

Welcome back to the Real World Brooklyn, where everyone dreams big, and the camera crews following them around make that seem like a good plan. No! You don’t look like a epileptic at all! Keep dancing!

Well, not really. We open this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras with pageant director Aimee Adkins telling us that the girls in this “Southern Celebrity Pageant” being held in Kentucky compete full-glitz and all-natural. That sounds fair. “We’re trying to make dreams come true one crown at a time,” she says. How about one health [...]

This week, on Survivor: Jalapao does me a solid. Thanks, guys!

This week’s episode opens with Ray J, The Cowardly Lion and the Mute waking up on the floor together. I guess this show’s budget was eaten up by Tool Academy. Even that cast gets to share an actual bed with their girlfriend once in a while. Oh well, any episode that opens like this has [...]

This week on I Love Money 2, Prancer goes down in history! Okay, maybe not, but that doesn’t mean we can’t quote Rudolph anyway.

This week on Lost, Sawyer gets in touch with his inner softy, Juliet learns how to fix a carburetor, Dick Alpert demands some justice, and the love quadrangle rears its ugly head yet again.