POSTS TAGGED: housewives

Drag U is coming soon. Let’s bond by trashing the trailer together.

A day of reckoning for our favorite harpy.

“Hey, wait a minute. I’m the sane one now?” Is it okay to lie, in the service of saving face? Is it terrible to tell the truth because it’s uncomfortable for someone? Who gets to decide? We have to for ourselves, of course. It’s called having a moral compass. I think that I have a [...]

It’s sometimes so hard to say that you’re sorry, especially if you think that you’re right all the time. I used to be horrible at it, just really immature with the apologies. Eventually I learned to either do it immediately, making it less painful like the proverbial quick pulling off of the Band-Aid, or do [...]

I never thought I’d see the day where one of my beloved shows would outlive it’s welcome- right before my eyes. I love this show. I love this franchise. I was going through a rough time in my life when I discovered it, and Bravo showed me the light at the end of the tunnel [...]

Sloppy bitches. Clutter bunnies, the pursuit of the pefect Duck Lip and 6 CARATS. Fuck you, kiss my ass and I don’t give a shit. As you can tell by my introduction to this episode, it was wall to wall class. Orange County’s finest are very well known for their subtle, natural beauty but who [...]

I used to smoke pot quite a bit in my early 20s. It was fun, innocent fun. I had two of the best roommates in New York City and our dealer delivered it right to the door of our 4th floor walk-up. Since he also ran the counter at the deli across the street, he’d [...]

Have you ever had a friend that you thought you knew? You may have had this person pigeon-holed as the funny Bridget Jones-y one or the ditsy one or the one who always seems so together. Then one day, something happens. They call you up and tell you that they are getting divorced when you [...]

Simon and Tamra are getting divorced. The greatest love of our time, the marriage of the new milennium, has come to an end. I look heavenward, the slow sad notes of ‘Taps’ playing in my head and exhale a large sigh. “Oh, Dear Lord in the cloudy skies above,” I ask, “If Tamra and Simon [...]

This week I did not feel like punching anyone. That is the good news. The bad news is that Crackie didn’t deliver! I was hoping that she would have a meltdown of volcanic proportions. Instead, she felt outnumbered and scared by all the town menfolk. I’m starting to wonder about our Crackie- were those tears [...]

After watching this episode I had a very strong urge to punch someone. I sat back and calmed myself down since that is not the right attitude to have when you still have round two of holiday shopping to finish. Instead, I went to a bunch more parties and am writing this hungover AGAIN. You’re [...]

Well, Gasmii, there are only two good things about this week’s episode. It didn’t air on Thanksgiving, thereby allowing us all to digest our food in relative peace and quiet, and Tammy from the ghosts of Housewives past stops by for a game of Bunko at Tamra’s house. Wait, I just remembered! There are three! [...]

This week on Twats with Fake Tits, we learn more about the new Ho and say goodbye to an old one. Crackie is her usual sweet natured self and the other two let their jealousy and body image issues hang out for all the world to see. Oh, almost forgot about Gretchen. She goes to [...]

This week was pretty damn pathetic. Don’t get me wrong, I was entertained and I got a couple of good belly laughs out of it, but the loser factor of these women’s lives has rocketed into the stratosphere. Once again I am simply amazed that they are so unselfaware that they allow their vile behavior [...]

He-aaaay, Hoes! No, I’m not talking to you, Gasmii. What you do on your own time is your own damn business. I’m talking about the klassy ladies of Orange County- Crackie, Wretched Gretchen, Slurry McFuzzybrains, Mama Jeana and hot (only if you ignore the age spots and the gawd awful personality) housewife Tamra Barney. We’ll [...]

This week’s Desperate Housewives brings more intrigue, action, drama, sex, and the kind of bawdy antics we’ve come to expect. But most importantly we get to see some really deep cleaning.

This week rocked! For real! My girl Bethenny is back with Jason, semi-sober and thoroughly awesome. Ramona goes craazaayzy. And we finally get to see why Alex and Simon live in their bedroom… There’s Not Enough Electricity In All Of Manhattan To Fix This

Hey There Gasmii: Yowza! We’re back in Manhattan (spacevenus the “a” is for you) and we’re in for a rollicking good time at Fashion Week. This week Simon gives new meaning to the words “I’m not gay”; Christian Sirriano makes a guest appearance in the role of Jill’s mom; I start to fall in love [...]