POSTS TAGGED: humor

Forgo the diet for an EXTRA HELPING OF MORE TO LOVE! This week on more to love, fatass dreams do come true when Tali and Malissa meat Luke’s family (yeah, I’m hilarious) and then his mom, and go on a final date. Then, Luke picks out two wedding rings for dramatic resonance, but only one [...]

And…Will drives up in his tin can car and the radiator (? Exhaust pipe? Engine?!) is dragging on the ground. I’m no car person so I have no idea what the hell it is and I only bring this up because this is how he made his entrance last episode, driving in with that piece [...]

Four ladies, Four rings. Lots of fuckin’ tears. This week, the ladies go on individual dates and…surprise surprise…meet their parents or relatives at the date. Sounds like a TON of fun. Drama amongst the girls and Malissa’s general deviousness make for another episode of…you guessed it: tears and hate-eating.

I will eat you. This week on more to love, the “good wife” “bad wife” exercise basically fucks with the fragile minds of all the plus-size ladies in the house. Well, that’s all the ladies. The person who wins and loses the exercise cry a lot, go on a one-on-one date, and the rest of [...]

A necessary production cost This week on More to Love, fat-ass talons fly as the girls show their true colors on two group dates and one very bitchy solo date to vegas! Yes, there are pools involved, and also involuntary vomiting. Are you excited? I am. There’s always a second helping at the proverbial buffet [...]

Like, 200 lbs more. This week on the Series Premiere of Fox’s More to Love, Luke, a 26 year old dude is looking for a chunky lady to be his everything. And man, there is a LOT of lady to go around. These women are like, super fat and super desperate and ready to get [...]

***Another week, another random ass show we don’t cover. This one? Is a doozie. Please welcome Monamonzano with 16 and Pregnant! I am so, so sorry. This week on “Make me a teenage mother,” aka, “16 and Pregnant,” the season finale is all about giving away babies so they don’t grow up as Midwestern trash. [...]

This week, A Tarp guest judges. Not surprisingly, said tarp has more personality than Tyson and all the models combined. Also, when the tarp goes through the film, he finds some excess nails and a sock. Also, this tarp wants to see more variety from Jonathan. Last but not least, the tarp hooks up with [...]

…it’s like Stephen Ambrose nonfiction, only bustier. Exploring exotic western openings since America’s birth Ughhh, you guys, I am in SUCH a bitchy mood, I’m tempted to tell you who got booted in this intro and call this motherf***er a night. God giveth and god taketh away, and motherfu***rs, though I am an unfair, menstruating [...]

This week: Salome works on a gut to match her ass Make Me A Supermodel is all about bare-assedness this week… too bad Gabe isn’t here. They do a nude photo shoot to showcase accessories and rock-hard abs, and then the models get back to their usual activity: bitching about each other. Jonathan has money [...]

So last week’s episode was titled “House Divided”. If you’re a history dork, you might know the whole quote: “A House divided against itself cannot stand.” I think Abe Lincoln said it, and you know, if he shaved and then grew back about a week’s worth of stubble, he’d look a little bit like one [...]

O.Snapp is on vacation this week, so please welcome your sub Hills recapper, Monamonzano! Back to something important- ME! This week, the ramifications of the “Boys” Hawaiian vacation erupts in monumental, melodramatic, man-coholic and often melancholic douchebaggery, Heidi and Spence keep seeing the therapist after another run-in with Stace-face, and Blahdrina gets torn a couple [...]

So, if you recall, a couple of weeks ago we lost a Houseguest. The show with too many cast members finally got rid of one. So pop quiz, hotshot: you’re a House exec. What do you do next? Bring one back, of course. Well, duh. I know the economy is rough and there are a [...]

Gone Country! This week on Make Me a Supermodel, it’s country time lemonade meets angsty modeling mayhem! The kids go to the country and take photos with livestock. Also, a personal trainer comes in to help them shape up, and some deal with it better than others (Jordan Mcbitchalot, I’m talking to you). Also, Colin [...]

Do I see Boobs? This week on MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL, the models do a Mod sixties shoot with partners that they like a lot or don’t like at all. Kerryn’s forhead really shines in this episode, folks, literally and figuratively. The Go-sees prove that not everyone has what it takes, and the catwalk challenge [...]

Let’s just get this out of the way first: I was totally caught off guard by this episode of House. No spoilers were out there. Not even the typical “This week, Someone Dies! Really! We Swear! SO UNEXPECTED!” It’s not even sweeps! It took guts to pull that off. Now Kal Penn is dead and [...]

Mouhaha: Bringing the pretty. This week on Make me a Supermodel, Tyson is gone because he got a modeling gig? Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it. The gals and dudes have a shoot based on who they are, or at least how they look like in front of mirrors. The winners get a [...]

Happy Undergarments Hey YO! Welcome to the world renowned, celebrity-studded recap of Bravo Tv’s MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL! WOHOOO! By world-renowned, I guess I mean in my bedroom and surrounding living spaces. By Celebrity-studded, I mean my cats are chillin with me whilst I write this. So join me, friends lovers and brethren, as I [...]

Uh oh…we have a crier in the house. Well, after I’m sure a long, angst-ridden waiting period…I, Monamonzano, bring you the FINALE of your favorite show, True Beauty! Well, let’s say the show you love to hate, because favorite would be…ahem, maybe a bit to strong. This week, they have their People Magazine Challenge that [...]

They called me chipmunk-cheeks in middle school. Guess I showed them! This week on True Beauty, four contestants remain: Paggie, LLL, Encino Man and Billy. In a surprise move, their moms (and Billy’s dad) come to escort them to a fake hollywood party, and they get judged on their conversational skills, beauty and ability to [...]

More old people? AHHHHH! This magnificent week on True Beauty, the Beauties learn what it’s like to undergo relatively low-pressure exercise that doesn’t involve a gym. Then, they have to shoot a video, ironically, about what “Natural Beauty” means to them. Yeah, I know, somebody hide their boobies (I’m looking at you, LLL). The Judges [...]

This week on True Beauty, The beauties take action sports photos. America’s next top model fans beware, there are always those lame catches that make the contestants seem more “human,” like tests of “Compassion,” “selflessness” and…”non-dickheadishness.” Okay, I made up the “non-dickheadheshness. ” It’s not a word, just a state of mind. Mr. Caddywhompus is….TRUE [...]

The Class keeps getting Klassier here at Rock of Love: Charm School! This week, the ladies learn all about the fine art of lovin’ men…while lookin’ hideous. The girls get uglied up, go on speed dates with C list celebrities and shoot the shit in their ugly suits….and, of course, controversy reigns when the ladies [...]

In this episode, the girls put together weird little bands complete with manager, music director, creative directors and stylist. Unfortunately, they’re about as talented as you think they are. Throw some makeup on this kid and maybe a water bra and he could have won.

****Well, you guys have been sending your letters in begging for Charm School, and since we are in complete and total love with you, please welcome Monamonzano!! Yikes. Makeover time!

It’s finale time, folks! So we left Ronen at the Parke & Ronen shoot yelling at our heroine…I mean heroin Janice Dickinson of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. Janice hangs up on pedophile Ronen, saying “The Israeli Army is strong but they don’t know Janice Dickinson.” Right. I love people who want to take on [...]

This week in the JDMA, Chandler picks on plussie Alana and Marty has a little chat about acceptance with the plussies. Plus Size Model Magazine comes and casts Alana and Ivory for a shoot and though Janice doesn’t like the idea, she brings FROOT LOOPS TO THE CASTING. FROOT LOOPS. The shoot is sloppy and [...]

Seven till Midnight pick models for their sexy Lingerie shoot, they want plus sized models, too, though, and Nathan brings in some despite an unwilling Janice. Xian harps about her weight and at the next shoot, gets excluded from the casting, a high-end underwear butt-enhancement designer’s shoot. Nadia, Dominic and Christian get this one, and [...]

This week on Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency: Merlin Castell comes in with whip in hand, picking models for his couture show. Crystal is called “too commercial” and Gremlin has difficulty with the models’ walks and looks. Chandler calls Traci a slut and Janice has a little chit-chat with him, an the next day Crystal is [...]

A good friend of mine who is a music composer (and his boyfriend, who is an animator) have been at the New York Television Festival this week… I got a text message from him on Saturday that said “Girl, I am fifteen feet away from Tabatha Coffey… THE one!” I immediately texted him back threatening [...]